


Why Boys Shouldn't Share Beds

by OutOfTheEquation



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Eventual Jily - Freeform, Eventual Wolfstar - Freeform, Marauders' Era, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Not Canon Compliant, Rating May Change, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, jily, will add more tags as necessary, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-13 05:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 54,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5697100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OutOfTheEquation/pseuds/OutOfTheEquation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius Black begins a tradition involving every Marauder sharing a single bed in his first year of Hogwarts. This is the story of extravagant missions, reckless behavior, four friends, confusing relationships and long nights spent comforting one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: No matter how much I may wish it, the majority of these characters are, in fact, J.K. Rowling's.
> 
> I will try to actively update this work at least once a fortnight, but I make no promises, that's a personal challenge.

“Gryffindor!”

 

A hush fell over the Great Hall as Sirius Black took the Sorting Hat off his head and handed it to the stern-looking professor standing next to the stool he was sitting on. He did his best not to shake as he stood up, his mother’s voice echoing in his head, screaming that he had gotten into the wrong house, that he was a blood traitor. Sirius could hear it all in his head as he walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down beside a random boy in his third year.

 

It took only a few more students to be called up before someone else was sorted into Gryffindor – a red-haired girl. Lily Evans, the professor had called her. Not one of the pureblood families his mother had taught him about. She half-jogged over to the Gryffindor table, a spring in her step as she sat down at the table and turned to look at the rest of the Sorting. Sirius watched her with open curiosity, this girl – either half-blood or muggleborn – easily three times happier than most of the other purebloods he had ever met. And yet his mother screamed in his head, telling him that she was nothing but scum of the earth, that he shouldn’t talk to her.

 

Another boy was sorted into Gryffindor, and Evans clapped loudly as a skinny, fair-haired boy called Remus Lupin made his way to the table, keeping his head down as he slid into the seat next to Sirius’. Lupin sounded like a familiar last name, but Sirius couldn’t remember from where, and he soon came to the conclusion that it was probably just someone from his parents’ work. He stared even more curiously at the fair-haired boy who seemed to be both bouncing at the edge of his seat with excitement and the perfect picture of patience at the same time.

 

His mother’s voice grew louder in his head, and he gripped the table as the fear at what she might do to him kicked in. He had failed her. He wasn’t meant to be sorted into Gryffindor. He was meant to be sorted into Slytherin, where all the good pureblood families were meant to go, and act the part of the Black heir. This was wrong.

 

“You’re shaking.”

 

Sirius looked up at Lupin in surprise, but the fair-haired boy was still staring at the Sorting as a slightly round boy, Peter Pettigrew, was sorted into Gryffindor. Pettigrew was one of the blood-traitor purebloods, he recalled, but the thought sounded like it was being whispered to him from across a chasm.

 

“I’m not shaking.”

 

“You are,” Lupin said, before reaching out and holding Sirius’ hands between his, holding on even as Sirius tried to recoil away from his grip.

 

“You’re stronger than you look,” Sirius muttered, and Lupin looked apologetic for a moment as he released Sirius’ hands, turning away with his lips pressed tightly together.

 

A boy with unruly dark hair and ridiculously large glasses, James Potter, was sorted into Gryffindor.

 

“I’m Sirius. Sirius Black.”

 

“Remus Lupin,” Lupin replied, not giving any indication that he recognised the last name or thought anything of it, which bothered Sirius to no end.

 

“What’s your blood status?”

 

“Why do you care?”

 

“Mother says half-bloods and muggleborns are filthy blood traitors, and that I should only talk to the purebloods.”

 

“Might not want to talk to me, then,” Remus replied, just as mildly as when he had said that Sirius was shaking, “my dad’s a wizard, but my mum’s a muggle.”

 

Half-blood. Sirius suddenly recalled where he had heard the name ‘Lupin’ before – the family that used to be pure but wasn’t anymore. He stared openly at Lupin now, his mother screaming three times as loud now that a half-blood had touched his hand – a blood-traitor had touched his hand. That’s why he hadn’t recognised the Black name, he had probably been kept from the wizarding world his whole life.

 

“What are the muggles like?” Sirius asked, trying to look disinterested and vaguely disgusted, but he found himself wanting to hear what the mild, polite half-blood had to say.

 

“They’re muggles. People, like the rest of us. They do things differently than in this world, but they get by without magic. They have some pretty good music, too.”

 

The red-haired girl, Evans, Sirius remembered, looked up at Lupin’s words, smiling widely.

 

“You know about the muggle world?! Thank god, I was starting to think everyone here grew up around magic!”

 

Lupin sent her a smile, much brighter than any Sirius had seen the other boy give him, “I sort of grew up around magic, but my mum wanted to keep me in the muggle world. Said it was safer, just in case I didn’t take after my father.”

 

“I didn’t know the weird things I could do were magic. Once I healed some dying flowers – they came straight back to life! Petunia thought she was going crazy! I did too, a little, but somehow I think I knew I had done it.”

 

“I remember when I was little I wanted a toy, and my parents wouldn’t give it to me, so instead it came to me. Scared the wits out of my grandma,” Lupin replied, laughing.

 

“My mum once locked me in my room for an hour to see what I would do. When she came back, our house-elf was floating in mid-air. Mum said she was proud of me,” Sirius tried to contribute to the conversation, but his words were met with stony silence – Lupin looking slightly sad while Evans looked horrified.

 

“Why would your mum lock you in your room?! And what’s a house-elf? Poor thing, that would have scared the wits out of me if I was suddenly levitating,” Evans replied, the horror not leaving her voice.

 

“House-elves are little creatures that clean and cook and do a lot of chores. Most of the wealthy wizarding families have them. They’re usually used to magical babies doing funny things,”  Lupin told Evans, before turning to look at Sirius, “why _did_ your mum lock you in your room?”

 

“I didn’t want to go to my lessons that day, so instead I got locked in my room without dinner,” Sirius replied like it wasn’t even remotely uncommon – which, to him, it wasn’t.

 

“My mum never locked me in a room…” Lupin muttered quietly, much to Sirius’ surprise.

 

“Oh, you have a horrible mum. But don’t worry, we’re at Hogwarts now, you don’t have to see your mum until the school holidays!” Evans said, clearly trying to comfort Sirius, but he only looked at her confused.

 

“My mum loves me. She said so. She isn’t a horrible mum. She’s just easily annoyed.”

 

Lupin and Evans exchanged a glance but said nothing. They suddenly realised they had talked all through Dumbledore’s speech, and now golden plates appeared in front of them, laden with food. Lupin, clearly the picture of politeness and manners, grabbed his fork and knife, eating the food placed in front of him methodically with more table manners than any of the Blacks ever had. Evans was having a harder time with her manners, ending up just ripping into a leg of chicken with her hands when she thought no one was looking. Sirius looked all around him, seeing how all the Gryffindors were simply tearing into the food, and something in him made him shut his mother’s voice out and load his plate up, eating in a less-than-appropriate manner.

 

During the whole feast, Sirius talked to Lupin and Evans. The two were fascinating to listen to, Lupin with his quiet, calm manner and Evans with her passionate, excitable one, discussing things from the muggle world Sirius could only dream of, while at the same time asking questions about the wizarding world that Sirius had thought so mundane it wasn’t even worth mentioning.

 

The food soon disappeared, and then desert was being served, a delectable selection of sweets that made Sirius’ mouth water. He almost instantly piled a slice of cake onto his plate, and began digging in when behind him he heard a heavy pair of footsteps stop.’

 

“Black, is it?” he heard the older student say, and he slowly turned to face them.

 

The boy was a Gryffindor in his fifth year, with heavy-set shoulders and a threatening look in his eye.

 

“Pleasure,” Sirius replied as flippantly as he could, falling back on the tactics his mother had taught him: treat anyone who threatens you as if they were nothing.

 

“You don’t belong in this house.”

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think that’s for the Sorting Hat to decide,” a voice that definitely wasn’t his own spoke up just as Sirius was about to speak, followed by a girl’s voice saying, “and if it says that Black is in Gryffindor, then he’s in Gryffindor. I believe he’s a Gryffindor.”

 

The older student sent both Lupin and Evans a glare that would have sent most people running for the hills, but Lupin only returned it with a polite smile, while Evans sent the older student a glare which would send even Sirius running for the hills. Sirius almost pitied the older student as he left with a huff. Almost.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Anytime, Black,” Lupin replied, while Evans just nodded.

 

“Do you know why he would say something like that?”

 

“I’m a Black. Blacks are meant to go to Slytherin. Mother isn’t going to be happy,” Sirius replied, trying not to let on how much that scared him, but Lupin was too observant.

 

“Is that why you were shaking before?”

 

“No! I told you, I wasn’t shaking!”

 

“It’s ok. We’ll defend you if your mum tries to do anything to you,” Evans added.

 

Sirius sent her a weird look. Was she mad? No one stands up to his mum – especially if they weren’t purebloods.

 

“We will! Tell him we’ll defend him, Lupin!”

 

“We’ll defend you,” Lupin said in a quiet, reassuring tone of voice, and it was only when he said it that it truly clicked that they would actually defend him, even against his mother. Sirius had never really had anyone who would stand up for him like that – he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

 

“Also, call me Remus,” Lupin informed the red-haired girl, and she smiled at him.

 

“Call me Lily. Both of you.”

 

“I guess you can call me Sirius? Only if you want to…” he added tentatively, still unsure how their support of him placed him in their eyes.

 

“Friends?” Evans – no, Lily – asked, holding out a hand, and Sirius and Lupin – no, Remus – covered the hand with their own hands, smiling at the red-head.

 

“Friends.”

 

*    *    *

 

They bid Lily goodnight in the Gryffindor Common Room as the first year girls were herded towards their dorms, the first year boys being herded towards a different set of stairs on the other side of the common room. Remus and Sirius talked animatedly to one another about all manner of things, mostly with Remus telling stories about his family while Sirius listened, wide-eyed, as he started to realise that his family didn’t even sound similar to the Lupins.

 

They kept talking all throughout the journey up the stairs, and Remus was halfway through telling a hilarious story about his witch grandma handing his muggle mother her wand to do some of the chores, clearly forgetting that her daughter-in-law was, in fact, muggle, when they burst into the dorm in which they were going to spend the rest of the year.

 

Two boys already stood there, one slightly round and sitting on a bed he had clearly claimed as his own, munching on a slab of chocolate, while the other had his head pretty much inside his trunk as he dug through it, throwing things all over the room. The first boy looked up at them the instant they burst into the room, but the second boy had clearly found whatever it was that he had found, because he called out a loud ‘Aha!’, retreating from inside the trunk only to hit his head on the lid.

 

“Hello,” Sirius greeted them, and the second boy finally turned to look at them, big glasses balancing on the bridge of his nose as a crooked grin crossed his features.

 

“Hi! James Potter, at your service, and that’s Peter Pettigrew,” he had unruly black hair, and Sirius thought that it had been messed up from his dig through the trunk, but he thought he remembered seeing the boy at the Sorting, with the exact same unruly hair.

 

Potter was a name he recognised. His mother had cursed their family to hell, but even she hadn’t been able to argue about the purity of their bloodline. Then again, as he was starting to learn, his mother wasn’t always right about who was really a bad person.

 

“I’m Sirius Black. Nice to meet you,” Sirius said, but the dark-haired boy’s features instantly turned cold and stony, clearly recognising the name. Peter Pettigrew, from behind Potter, let out a quiet squeak as he stood up suddenly, his eyes wide as he, too, recognised the name.

 

“I’m Remus Lupin,” Remus’ voice held a cautious note, and Sirius felt the boy move a fraction closer to him.

 

He was suddenly glad that, of all the people he could have met first at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin was one of them. Maybe being sorted into Gryffindor wouldn’t be so bad.

 

“You shouldn’t be hanging out with his sort,” Potter told Remus, but Remus only seemed amused by his words.

 

“I think I know what sort is better for me to hang out with, thanks,” Remus’ reply was almost playful, but it still held the polite, calm note that was clearly something that was special to Remus Lupins only.

 

“He’s a Black. They’re crazy, evil Slytherins. I don’t know what he did to get into Gryffindor, but stay away from him.”

 

Remus drew himself up, even as Sirius felt himself shrink at his words, sensing that every word Potter said was true. A hand suddenly grabbed his, and soon both of his hands were being held between Remus’ again.

 

“You’re shaking again,” he said quietly, his voice so gentle and patient that Sirius found himself relaxing a little.

 

Remus turned to look at Potter, and, in the same calm, collected manner that Sirius was now attributing to him, he said, “If I were to stay away from anyone, right now it would be you, who judge people by their last names before you even know them.”

 

And with that, Remus, still holding Sirius’ hands between his, left the dorm room with Sirius trailing after him, sitting in the Common Room and talking a bit more as they fell asleep in front of the fire, Pettigrew and Potter a mile away in their minds.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks for all the kudos I've gotten so far, it really helps with motivating me to keep writing!

It was Lily who found them the next morning, curled up on a couch in front of the fireplace. She gently shook them awake, and together they made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. Lily pestered them the whole time, asking why they hadn’t slept in their dorms, but both Remus and Sirius only gave her vague answers in reply, not wanting to worry her. Still, she kept asking questions, and Remus and Sirius, by the time they had arrived at the Great Hall, had given her enough answers to figure out that Potter and Pettigrew was behind it.

 

Remus had to grab hold of both of her shoulders as the two boys mentioned walked past to stop her from lunging at them from where she sat at the Gryffindor table. Above them, owls swooped in, hundreds of them, delivering all sorts of letters and newspapers. A medium-sized Horned Owl came to a stop in front of Remus, carrying a letter, and Remus quietly read the enthusiastic approval of his mother and the calmer support of his father, smiling slightly at his mother’s interest in the Wizarding world.

 

Sirius read the letter over Remus’ shoulder, feeling himself starting to grow cold. Was this what a family was meant to be like? Making jokes and laughing, always supporting their children? Not just telling their son that they’re proud of them – congratulating them on getting into a house even though it was different from theirs? Wishing them the best in school? And not saying anything about keeping away from the blood-traitors or the muggleborns?

 

Remus closed the letter, having finished reading it, and Sirius felt a dull ache at the glimpse of a world he was missing out on. For a wild moment, he was almost angry at Remus for having such a good family, but he soon shook it off – Remus was his friend, and he didn’t want to lose him just because his family was nicer.

 

Sirius was about to ask Lily whether she was expecting to receive a letter from her family when another owl swooped down, landing in front of him, and Sirius recognised his mother’s Eagle Owl, as well as the crest on the red envelope that was placed before him.

 

“Oh no…” he muttered as he realised what kind of letter it was.

 

The envelope began shaking, and Sirius grabbed the letter and sprinted outside the Great Hall without a word to Remus and Lily, trying to get away before the Howler burst open. He made it to the corridor, opening it just before it exploded, and suddenly there was his mother’s voice, amplified a thousand times, shrieking at him.

 

It was worse than anything Sirius had been expecting. His mother’s voice shrieked and shrieked as she harped on about him getting sorted into the wrong house, calling him a blood-traitor and worse. Sirius stopped listening after the first minute, numbness spreading through his mind as the shock settled in, but the envelope continued to scream.

 

Remus and Lily were suddenly at his side, Lily defiantly holding her wand out to the envelope despite not knowing any spells while Remus gently shook Sirius back into the present, somehow managing to look both angry and calm at the same time. When he was sure that Sirius was fine, he turned to face the envelope, yelling out an angry _Silencio!_ at the envelope, prodding it with his wand, but the Howler didn’t end.

 

The fair-haired boy growled in annoyance – a sound that startled Sirius out of his daze – before walking back over to Sirius, crossing his arms over his chest as he stood next to him. Lily joined them, looking livid.

 

They stood there, the three of them, two glaring at the envelope, one intent on ignoring the envelope, until finally it set itself on fire and turned into ashes, his mother’s angry insults and threats finally ending.

 

“I’m sorry, Sirius. I tried to stop it…” Remus said quietly, sounding so sincere Sirius snapped back into reality.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Together, they walked back to the Great Hall, Sirius flanked by Lily, who looked ready to kill someone, and Remus, who looked three times more threatening when he was angry. They took their seats again, not saying a word as they quietly chewed through their breakfast.

 

“Black?”

 

Sirius turned to face Potter, and found himself unable to hide a scowl that settled over his features.

 

“What, come to tell me I’m a crazy, evil Slytherin? Don’t bother,” Sirius snapped, starting to turn back to his breakfast.

 

“Actually, I came here to tell you you’re a crazy, stupid Gryffindor, but sure, I’ll just go if that’s what you want.”

 

Sirius found himself smiling despite himself.

 

“So your mum’s a bit of a wacko then, huh?” Potter asked, slipping into the seat beside Sirius and pushing his glasses slightly higher on his nose.

 

“She’s like the rest of my family,” Sirius replied, shrugging, but it sounded weak even to him.

 

There was a lull in the conversation, and then suddenly Potter held out a timetable, tapping on one of the lessons with a knobbly finger, “we have Herbology with the Slytherins today. Peter and I were thinking of getting their plants to give them a bit of trouble. Want to join in? You too, Lupin. And Evans, I guess.”

 

Lily quickly objected to the idea, clearly not liking the idea of doing something that could probably harm students, but Sirius agreed too quickly, hoping it would prove that he definitely wasn’t a Slytherin, and Lupin eventually also agreed, resignedly, like he didn’t have much of a say in the matter.

 

Together, the four of them and Pettigrew stood up and started walking to their first class of the year – Charms. Sirius and Potter talked the whole way, having found a shared interest in Quidditch almost instantly. Sirius felt a casual air of familiarity when he talked to Potter, extremely different to the way he felt around Lily and Remus. Lily was full of fire, easily angered but extremely caring, and very unknowing of the Wizarding world. Sirius loved the attention she would give him, wanting to learn about the Wizarding world as much as she could, but it was tiring having to explain everything he said to the inquisitive girl. Remus was something different altogether, calm and patient and mild. Sometimes, Sirius wondered if he was even real, and talking to him sometimes felt like he was talking to a puzzle. Remus’ facial expressions rarely changed from quiet acceptance, and every little twitch in his face needed to be analysed to even have an idea what he was thinking. With Potter, conversation just flowed normally, even if Sirius felt a little bad that Remus and Lily were being left out.

 

They walked into the class and took up the two middle rows, Remus and Lily sitting in the front row while Sirius, Potter and Peter took up the back row. Another girl from Ravenclaw sat next to Remus, and the three were suddenly lost in conversation, looking like they were having some sort of debate. It was only when the professor cleared his throat that their debate, growing increasingly heated between Lily and the Ravenclaw, ended, and Sirius felt odd being left out from their conversation, even as he and Potter discussed Quidditch tactics as if they had been friends for years.

 

He grew increasingly uncomfortable for leaving the two for Potter as the lesson went on. After all, both Lily and Remus had said they would defend him from his mother despite barely knowing him, and they were the ones who had chased after him and stood with him in front of the Howler. Remus had even tried to perform a spell to make the Howler stop yelling. And here he was, leaving them for a boy that had, just yesterday, told him that he was evil.

 

Sirius carefully ripped the bottom of his parchment off, scribbling a greeting and folding it into the shape of a bird, throwing it through the gap between Remus and Lily before leaning backwards, watching them carefully. Lily ignored it, looking like she was trying to focus on her work, but Remus slowly unfolded it, reading what Sirius had sent.

 

He looked up at the teacher, making sure Professor Flitwick wasn’t paying any attention as he wrote a reply and held out his hand behind him. Sirius reached over and plucked the note from the fair-haired boy’s thin fingers, smoothing it out on the table in front of him.

 

_Hey. What do you think of the lesson?_

Sirius didn’t bother to check as he scribbled down an answer and passed it back to Remus.

 

_I’d rather do the charm than listen to Flitty.You?_

He heard a quiet snort from Remus, and had to hide his smile behind one of his hands.

 

_I think it’s fascinating. You could do so much with levitating objects._

Sirius smiled at his enthusiasm, despite not thinking all that much of levitation in itself.

 

_Like?_

_Well, you can make a book levitate while you do stuff, so you can read and do other things at the same time. You can carry things which would be too heavy to carry usually. Also, you can knock someone out by dropping something heavy on their heads._

Sirius let out a bark of laughter at the included image, a scrawled drawing of Sirius with a watermelon that had fallen on his head.

 

“Mr Black, I’m glad you’re enjoying my class, but please do it quietly.”

 

“Sorry, professor.”

 

He turned to look at Remus, who was now sniggering into his hand, and crumpled up the note, throwing it at the back of Remus’ head just as Professor Flitwick dismissed the class. Remus burst out laughing, earning himself a glare from both Lily and the Ravenclaw who had sat next to him. Sirius winked at him as they walked to the doorway, pretending to fall over unconscious as soon as they were in the hallway. Remus kept laughing as they walked together to their next class – History of Magic, and Sirius couldn’t resist poking his side to tickle him, much to Lily’s amusement.

 

They sat together in History of Magic, with Sirius sitting in between Lily and Remus. Both Lily and Remus seemed incredibly interested in what Professor Binns was saying, but Sirius didn’t see what was so great about it, and kept getting told to stay quiet. Sirius made a mental note to sit with James in this class rather than with Remus and Lily.

 

As they left, with Remus and Lily discussing the finer points of Professor Binns’ lecture, Sirius found himself drifting back to Potter’s side. The boy was pretty much glowing with excitement, looking like Christmas had just come early.

 

“Next lesson is Herbology!” Potter greeted him, and Sirius returned his wicked grin.

 

They walked together to the Great Hall, Peter following after them, and took their seats around Remus and Lily, who had sat next to each other and were talking avidly about some sort of Muggle war that had happened thirty years ago. Sirius shrugged, not bothering to try to understand what the two were talking about and turned to Potter, who was watching their conversation with interest.

 

“Please tell me you have no idea what they’re talking about,” Potter said to no one in particular as he watched Remus and Lily talk.

 

“None at all,” Sirius replied, laughter audible in his voice.

 

“I think they’re talking about some muggle who thought he could create the perfect race and started a massive war. Some wizard quickly put him in his place,” Pettigrew contributed, and Potter turned to look at him with a stunned look.

 

“You actually know something?”

 

“I just listened in on their conversation from the start,” the rounder boy replied, seeming to sink into his chair submissively.

 

Sirius was almost stunned at how submissive this pureblood was – they were purebloods, after all, everyone else was meant to be submissive to them! – but he quickly stopped his thoughts, realising he was thinking like his mother. He decided then and there that if his mother hated him so much for something he couldn’t even control, then there was no way he was going to listen to her anymore, let alone waste time of day thinking like her.

 

“So what are we doing in dear Herbology?” Sirius asked Potter with a mischievous smile, and the boy lit up like a Christmas tree.

 

“We are going to make a plant start growing uncontrollably right next to an unfortunate Slytherin.”

 

Remus’ conversation with Lily suddenly paused as Lily turned to look at them, his eyes wide.

 

“You’re mad. These aren’t your average muggle plants, they’re magical plants. We don’t know what a plant could do to someone. Tell them, Remus, they can’t go through with this.”

 

Remus didn’t say a word, his head down and his hands in his lap. He looked so much like a kicked puppy that Sirius almost felt sorry for him.

 

Lily let out a huff of air, turning to focus intensely on lunch and eating rather rapidly in silence, while Potter and Pettigrew discussed their plans and Remus sunk even lower in his chair. Eventually, in a rustle of fabric, Lily got up and left, having finished her lunch.

 

“Lupin, you don’t _have_ to do anything. Just don’t try to stop us, or tell a teacher.”

 

“I won’t,” he said quietly, but didn’t say another word for the rest of lunch other than to inform Potter that his name was Remus, not Lupin.

 

“And I’m James, not Potter, and this is Peter, not Pettigrew, and that fellow over there with the dark hair is Sirius, not Black. So, now that we all know each other’s names, can we get back to planning?”

 

Remus said nothing, which James clearly took as a yes because he continued right on with whatever he had been saying. Sirius contributed as much as he could, the excitement that seemed to have James bouncing in his chair starting to make its way into his system.

 

Together, the four boys walked to Herbology, Remus soon joined by a much calmer Lily. Together, they walked into the greenhouse, found a spot to stand in, and stood there, talking to each other. Sirius noticed some students he hadn’t seen yet in his other classes were arriving, and he smiled to himself at the thought of the chaos that was about to occur.

 

Lily suddenly began waving enthusiastically to a boy he didn’t recognise, dragging Remus after her as she walked over to meet him.

 

The boy had jet black, greasy hair, a large, hooked nose, and the most unhealthy skin colour Sirius had ever seen on anyone before – and most definitely a Slytherin. As he watched, Lily introduced Remus to him enthusiastically, and Remus shook the Slytherin’s hand with the same cautious politeness he seemed to show everyone. Sirius could almost feel how much the Slytherin wanted Remus to leave, and how torn Remus probably was between wanting to stay for Lily and leave out of discomfort.

 

Sirius instantly decided he hated him.

 

“Who’s the guy Lily’s talking to?” he asked James, who looked over and instantly looked like he had swallowed the most sour object to have ever existed.

 

“Severus Snape. I ran into him earlier accidentally and came away with a layer of grease from his hair. He’s a nasty piece of work, Remus and Lily shouldn’t be talking to someone like that.”

 

Sirius found himself agreeing despite himself. There was something particularly dodgy about this particular Slytherin, and he didn’t like it.

 

“Do we now have our target?”

 

“Oh yes, definitely.”

 

Sirius and James exchanged a grin full of mischief. When they looked back at the scene in front of them, Remus was walking back to them, his face schooled to perfect calmness, while Lily stayed with Snape, talking to him as if they were childhood friends.

 

“I don’t like him,” Sirius muttered when Remus was close enough to hear.

 

“You don’t even know him,” Remus replied, tactfully avoiding giving his own opinion.

 

“But you don’t like him either. I can tell.”

 

Remus didn’t reply. Sirius hid a smile at his success, instead turning to look at the professor, who had finally arrived and was now starting the lesson. He pretended to listen intently to what she was saying – which wasn’t all that hard, if he were being honest with himself. Herbology may not be particularly interesting to him, but it was infinitely more interesting than History of Magic.

 

About halfway through the lesson, Lily was far enough from Snape to avoid getting caught in the repercussions, or so they hoped, and James tapped Sirius’ shoulder, signalling that he should cast the spell. He muttered _engorgio_ under his breath, pointing his wand at the plant closest to Snape while pretending to stretch.

 

For a moment, nothing happened. Then he blinked, and suddenly the plant had grown to massive proportions, taking Snape with it as it enlarged around him, engulfed him, and drew him into the plant itself, so he seemed like a part of the plant. Panicked shrieks sounded all around the greenhouse as everyone rushed away from the plants, and Sirius and James followed suit, screaming for dramatic effect as they leaped away from the plants nearest them.

 

Professor Sprout started yelling at them to calm down and stay put, but nothing worked, the class was just too panicked. Eventually, she managed to send everyone out the greenhouse while she coaxed the plant to go back to its normal size and let Snape go.

 

And standing in the center of it all was Remus, the perfect picture of calm, disappointment and resignation written across his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus was quiet for the rest of the day – even for him. Sirius was even starting to get worried about him, started going out of his way to sit next to him and try to talk to him without ever directly asking if he was alright. The boy was just too unreadable for Sirius to figure out. He hadn’t even dreamed that Remus could be so unreadable.

 

Even now, as they sat at the Gryffindor table for dinner, the only thing they were getting from Remus was silence. James didn’t seem to notice, continuing to ramble on, and Sirius never really understood why Peter was even there, but he himself noticed, and he didn’t like it.

 

It wasn’t just Remus’ silence that was bothering him. It was probably bothering him the most, but Lily’s disappearance bothered him much more. She hadn’t been to the Great Hall for dinner yet, and he felt weirdly guilty about it.

 

Eventually, Remus stood up with a spare plate of food and carried it out of the hall, muttering that he was going to go give it to Lily, before disappearing. Sirius watched his back while he walked, lost in his thoughts of concern for the skinny boy who had been his first friend.

 

“Black! Are you even listening to me?!” James suddenly asked, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts with an annoyed look.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Have you ever had a girlfriend? Would you ever have a girlfriend?”

 

“My mother tried to have me betrothed to a girl three times older than me once.”

 

James looked shocked, and Sirius frowned, “does that count as having a girlfriend?”

 

“No! So you’ve never had a girlfriend?! Do you like anyone? Peter here likes someone, but he won’t tell me who it is!”

 

“I don’t know if I like anyone. I don’t think so.”

 

“You’ll know when you like someone,” James said, his young face growing distant and dreamy, “they walk into the room and you can’t stop looking at them. You can’t think around them. They make you so nervous you can barely speak.”

 

Sirius snorted at that, earning him a hurt look from James.

 

“What?”

 

“That doesn’t sound like you like them. It sounds like you’re scared of them.”

 

“If you’re so smart, then what do you think liking someone is like?”

 

Sirius frowned in thought, “Well, you’d have to be really comfortable with them, like best friends, but they’d be quite different from you. You’d know you’d be able to tell them all your secrets, and they’d tell you all theirs. They’d be someone you could mess around with, who’d make you laugh.”

 

James gave Sirius a sympathetic look which Sirius shrugged off, even as the ridiculously messy haired boy muttered about the poor girl who tried to date him.

 

“Why did you even ask me about girlfriends?”

 

“I read about it in my mum’s Witch’s Weekly magazine,” James replied meekly, and Sirius couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“Seriously? Why did you read that ridiculous thing?”

 

“It was open on the table and mum had told me I wasn’t allowed to leave. What was I meant to do, die of boredom?”

 

Sirius shook his head in amusement, but was distracted by the skinny shape of Remus weaving through the crowds of people who were now starting to leave the Great Hall. Remus finally managed to reach them, sitting down in his spot.

 

“Message from Lily: You’re all idiots and I hope you turn to stone,” he said, a gleam of amusement in his eyes.

 

“Welcome back, Remmy!”

 

“Remmy? Really, Sirius?” Remus’ face was showing more of his amusement now, a small smile tickling the sides of his lips now.

 

“Of course. You will be my Remmy. Forever. You said you’d be my friend, now you’re not escaping,” Sirius replied, a grin on his face as he surged forwards, grabbing Remus around the shoulders and tackling him down to the ground.

 

Remus easily fought him off, shoving him back against the benches, but stopped suddenly with a horrified look.

 

“Are you ok? Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

 

“Are you kidding? I’m fine! Merlin, you’re so much stronger than you look. That’s so cool!”

 

Remus looked relieved, but he didn’t seem to agree with Sirius’ statement even though he said nothing. Sirius, however, noted Remus’ strength anyway, deciding it might come in useful later if he ever got into a fight with him.

 

“You can’t be _that_ strong. Arm wrestle?” James suggested, holding out his hand, but Remus quickly shook his head, crossing his arms purposely so no one could get to them.

 

“No thanks. I think I might just go get started on that essay we were given for Transfiguration.”

 

“You’re doing homework?! On the first day of school?! Are you mad?!” James sounded completely astonished.

 

“I would prefer to get it done now so I don’t have to do it later,” Remus replied quietly, beginning to turn away.

 

James tried to ask him the same question he had asked Sirius about girlfriends and liking people, but Remus didn’t stop walking, only giving James a negative as he left. Sirius excused himself and followed the skinny boy to the library, dragging a chair over to the desk where Remus had set up camp and sitting down next to him.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Remus replied in monotone, carefully writing on a piece of parchment a title for his essay, along with his name.

 

“If you say so,” Sirius replied, watching how Remus’ fingers gripped the quill, gently applying pressure to create a beautiful, curving script.

 

“How do you write so neatly?”

 

“Muggle schools make you practice your cursive until it’s perfect,’ Remus replied, not taking his eyes off the words he was writing.

 

“Muggle schools are weird. Why do you need curvy writing?”

 

“Because otherwise you end up with scratchy lines no one can read,” Remus sounded amused.

 

“Well maybe I _like_ scratchy lines no one can read,”  Sirius said, and the writing boy chuckled, lifting the quill just enough to poke Sirius’ nose with the feathery end and make him sneeze.

 

“That’s not nice, Remmy!”

 

“Too bad,” Reus replied, but a small grin was crawling up his face as he wrote, “now let me write my essay.

 

Sirius wasn’t sure how long he sat there in silence, watching Remus’ curvy handwriting spread across the page. There was something hypnotic about the elegant way he wrote, applying just enough pressure to the quill to leave tracks of black ink in stark contrast with the white parchment. By the time Remus put down his quill and rolled up his parchment, Sirius was almost falling asleep.

 

“Morning,” Remus teased, and Sirius lightly punched his shoulder, yawning loudly.

 

“Can we go to bed now?”

 

“You could have gone to bed without me, you know.”

 

“I know, but I wanted to wait for you.”

 

Remus looked lost for words, instead packing up and making his way out of the library while Sirius followed behind. They didn’t speak as they walked to the Common Room, nor did they speak as they climbed the stairs to their dorm and stepped inside.

 

Then, though, all hell broke loose.

 

A pillow was launched through the air at them, which Remus automatically swatted away, accidentally hitting Sirius’ shoulder as he sent it flying into Peter, who squeaked in surprise as he fell backwards off his bed.

 

James burst out laughing, Sirius soon joining him. Remus smiled despite himself, even chuckling slightly as Peter’s face appeared from behind the bed, his eyes wide and prepared to fight. Remus carefully placed his essay in his trunk and locked it before climbing onto his bed and sitting there, cross-legged, watching the rest of the room’s occupants.

 

“I’m going to go get changed and go to sleep,” James announced, grabbing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in.

 

Peter and Sirius followed suit, all three not bothering to go to the bathroom to get changed, but Remus quietly excused himself and slipped away into the bathroom, coming back wearing a large t-shirt advertising a muggle band and a pair of grey pants.

 

“How can you sleep with pants on?!” James exclaimed as Remus walked into the room, and Remus sent him an amused look.

 

“I take them off in the middle of the night,” was his only reply as he settled down on his bed, his legs crossed underneath him again.

 

“You’re weird,” James replied, and Remus winced slightly. Sirius noticed one of Remus’ hands make a grab for his shoulder, covering the area for a brief instant before it dropped back into his lap.

 

“No weirder than you,” Sirius informed James, trying to make Remus feel better, and was glad to see the boy relax slightly, “your hair is ridiculous, have you even _tried_ to make it stay flat?”

 

“Why would I do that?!” James sounded incredulous at the suggestion.

 

“Can we please go to sleep now?” Peter asked from his bed, having already curled up under the covers and looking ready to fall asleep at any moment.

 

“Sorry, Peter, we’ll go to sleep now,” James replied, and all four boys muttered their goodnights as they climbed into bed, trying to ignore Peter, who had started snoring the second the room got quiet.

 

Sirius lay in his bed, quietly wishing for sleep, but suddenly found he was too awake to sleep. He could hear Peter’s snoring loudly, of course, and James shifting in his bed quite regularly, but he wasn’t all that surprised to find out that Remus slept like a log – unmoving and not making a sound.

 

Sirius settled down into his bed further, trying to will himself to sleep, but he had no luck. He eventually closed his eyes, hoping it would help him go to sleep.

 

A whimper made him open his eyes again.

 

It had come from one of the beds next to his, but he wasn’t sure which one. It could have been Remus or James, for all he could tell. Peter was snoring too loudly for it to have been him.

 

He heard another quiet whimper, and from the corner of his eye he saw Remus shift in his bed.

 

Sirius sat up and looked over at the sleeping boy, but was shocked into speechlessness by what he saw.

 

Remus was clutching at his quilt with both his hands, shaking in his sleep. His lips were moving, but no sound was escaping his lips other than quiet, shuddering breaths and, every so often, a quiet whimper of fear and pain. He was having a nightmare, Sirius realised all of a sudden, and he decided he needed to do something about it.

 

Sirius slipped out of bed, walking as quietly as he could over to his friends’ bed without really knowing what he was going to do. He gently took hold of Remus’ hand and squeezed it, trying to let dream-Remus know that he would be there to protect him. Remus’ hand tightened around his, and Sirius was sure there were going to be bruises there the next morning, but he didn’t complain, not when Remus was slowly falling back into a more relaxed sleep, and his hand slowly began uncurling from around his.

 

Sirius took his hand away carefully, so not to wake him up, and made his way back to his own bed, his mind racing. Even he had never had such bad nightmares, and he definitely had enough fuel for them with his parents. What could possibly be in the skinny boy’s past that was so horrible? And why didn’t he say anything about it, when Sirius had told him all about how horrible his own family were?

 

*    *    *

 

Remus didn’t seem like himself for the rest of the week. Sirius had only met him a few days before, but he could tell that he wasn’t acting like himself. He was too impatient, too jumpy, to be the calm, patient boy Sirius knew he was. He was barely able to focus in class, and yet all the teachers seemed to be letting him get away with it – even McGonagall, their Transfigurations teacher, who he was beginning to know as the strictest professor to ever live. There was definitely something going on, and all the teachers were in on it.

 

It annoyed him that Remus clearly had something he wasn’t telling them, but he tried to play it off. Even now that Remus was antsy, a well-placed joke or snide remark still made him laugh, and there were moments when he even slipped into a slightly more relaxed state, but he was still clearly on edge – and he kept reaching up and itching the exact same spot on his shoulder he had covered when James had called him weird. Sirius wondered if he was hiding something there.

 

Then, about a day ago, he had suddenly disappeared from the school altogether after the last lesson of the day, only to reappear the next morning looking battered, bruised, and needing some sleep, and Sirius noted that he was now clutching at his shoulder, a pained expression crossing his face every time he was forced to move it. When he was questioned – by James, of course, Sirius was curious by nature but was slightly more sensitive – he only said his mother had fallen ill, and he had to be at her side. When questioned further – by Sirius, this time, because for all his sensitivity he had very little self-restraint – he added that he had simply bumped into one of the hospital beds and had come out of it with a few bruises.

 

James and Peter seemed to buy it, but Sirius wasn’t too sure. You didn’t just get those kinds of bruises from knocking into a hospital bed – especially not Remus, who was too careful to bump into anything in the first place.

 

But then, he realised, he might as well not know the boy that was currently sleeping soundly next to him in Charms, a piece of parchment glued to his cheek and his quill still in his hands. He had been accidentally knocking things over the whole day, almost falling asleep in Herbology while handling a pot and in Potions, which could have ended in disaster if Lily hadn’t caught him before he fell into the cauldron, and now here he was, in the first practical lesson of Charms, fast asleep.

 

Sirius leaned over and shook him gently awake, slightly amused to hear him mutter the incantation to the spell they were meant to be practicing in a startled voice as he woke up, but it was clear that Remus needed to sleep and recover from whatever it was that had happened the night before.

 

As they walked to their final class of the day, Sirius spent the majority of his time trying to convince Remus to go to sleep, and was surprised to find that Remus put up virtually no resistance, disappearing from sight as soon as the classroom was within view. Sirius made sure to take notes extra carefully during that lesson, keeping his handwriting as neat as possible so that Remus could read it, but his mind was miles away from the notes that he was taking.

 

There was something very fishy going on – and it wasn’t just the smell of James’ socks that Sirius had soaked in fish-oil the day before – and Sirius was determined to get to the bottom of it.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day Remus looked much healthier, which Sirius was incredibly glad about, but he still didn’t look like he was fully there, and it was only after lessons, when he had retreated into the dorms to avoid everyone, that Sirius made up his mind to ask him what was wrong. He followed the fair-haired boy at a distance, hesitating before opening the door to the dorm and slipping inside.

 

The sight that greeted Sirius stunned him.

 

He took the few steps across the room to Remus’ bed and climbed in next to the boy impulsively, even as the other boy started moving away.

 

“What do you want, Sirius?”

 

“I want my best friend to not be upset.”

 

He sensed more than saw Remus smile, and Sirius smiled in accomplishment. He was about to ask what was wrong when James and Peter stormed in, the tips of their ears pink from the cold autumn winds outside.

 

“Hi, Sirius. Remus,” James called as he walked in, oblivious to the world as seemed to be the norm for him..

 

“James, get your butt over here and climb into the bed. You too, Peter.”

 

“Why?” both James and Peter asked at the same time, making Sirius laugh internally. But now was not the time for laughing.

 

“Remmy is upset so we’re going to cheer him up.”

 

“By sharing his bed?” Peter sounded sceptical, but he still joined James in climbing into the bed, all four boys shifting until they were all comfortable – well, as much as four boys squashed into a bed could be.

 

“Now, Remus, you better tell us the reason we’re all sharing one bed,” James said, and Sirius could have kissed him for asking the question Sirius wanted an answer to so badly.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

Remus’ face had fallen back into a calm, polite mask, and Sirius decided he hated it. He preferred to see him with some actual emotion, even if it wasn’t a positive one. No one should have to wear a mask.

 

Peter decided the silence that ensued was the perfect time to let out a burp so loud Sirius swore the bedposts shook. James promptly shoved him, and he would have fallen out of the bed if he hadn’t grabbed hold of Remus’ arm to stop himself from doing so, causing Remus to jolt backwards in surprise and accidentally head-butt Sirius’ chin. The chaos that ensued was, well, chaotic. Sheets getting tangled in between legs as heads were assaulted with pillows, and all manner of knobbly things like elbows and even a pair of glasses.

 

It was during this chaos that Lily decided to see if Sirius and Remus wanted to study with her, despite the late hour. She opened the door and barged right in, not at all deterred by the fact it was a boys dormitory, but stopped short as all four boys stopped dead midway through their fight.

 

Peter was about to clamp his teeth around Sirius’ forearm, while Remus had one knee on James’ back and the other about to hit Sirius in the face. Sirius was halfway between kicking Peter in the stomach and grabbing Remus’ long hair to drag him away from his face. James had a hold of Peter’s leg and had been batting at it with a pillow.

 

Lily raised an eyebrow at the frozen boys, and Sirius sent her a wicked grin, “Feel like joining? I suggest you grab a pillow.”

 

The red-head glanced at him thoughtfully before pulling out her wand, levitating a pillow so it was hovering over the top of them. The four boys exchanged glances before turning to stare curiously at the girl.

 

Suddenly, the pillow dropped just as Lily muttered _engorgio_ , and the boys unfroze as if they had just had a full body-bind curse lifted from them. They squirmed to get out from under the enlarged pillow while Lily laughed and left the room, muttering to herself about idiot boys. Remus managed to remove himself first, and grabbed the pillow, using his surprising strength to launch the pillow off them all.

 

Sirius was the first to dissolve into laughter, but the other boys soon joined him, grinning from ear to ear.

 

“Did it work? Is Remus now not upset?” James asked, a grin spreading across his face.

 

“No, I’m still very upset. There are three unwanted boys in my bed and I just want to sleep,” Remus replied, faking grumpiness.

 

“You know what that means, lads?” Sirius asked, and all the three others sent him an odd look, willing him to continue.

 

“We’re all sleeping here tonight!”

 

“You’re a nuisance,” Remus muttered, but Sirius caught the smile on his face.

 

“And you, my dear Remmy, have a very comfortable bed. We’re definitely sleeping here tonight.”

 

James was grinning at the suggestion as he stretched out on the bed and wiggled his toes, “Look alive, lads! We’re sleeping in this bed tonight! I expect you all to sleep deeply and quietly, and Peter if you snore my wand might accidentally slip and you’ll find yourself under a silencing charm.”

 

Remus sat up, asking Sirius to move so he could put on his pyjamas, but both James and Sirius instantly ganged up on him, and when they made statements like ‘Pyjamas are just clothes for night time. Why should clothes have a time of day?’ it was very difficult to argue with them.

 

Both Remus and Peter were quick to fall asleep, James following soon afterwards, looking incredibly snug between the two. Sirius settled down next to Remus, close enough he could smell grass and rich, lush forests and old books, smells which he had begun to attribute to Remus. He was intending to stay awake to listen out for the nightmares that seemed to be a daily occurrence, but on this particular night he was silent, the ghost of a smile even playing at the edge of his lips as he rolled over and curled closer to Sirius.

 

“Night, Remus,” Sirius whispered, testing to see if the boy was awake.

 

He heard no reply, and so he let himself settle into the bed slightly more comfortably, trying to avoid sleeping too close to the fair-haired boy, and slowly drift off to a world he could only access in his dreams.

 

*    *    *

 

“Peter, can you kindly get your foot off my thigh,” Remus’ voice was only remotely amused – Remus was, in no way shape or form, a morning person, and it showed quite clearly now that they had all woken up in the same bed.

 

“Remus, can you please move your knee down? You almost squashed the family jewels a few times now,” Sirius added, grinning mercilessly as the boy’s face turned red and the offending knee instantly disappeared back under the covers.

 

Peter finally tumbled out of bed, landing spreadeagle on the floor. James quickly dived off the bed with the same amount of grace as a beached whale, flopping hard onto the floor. Remus followed him out of the bed, diving into a roll and standing up straight. He walked off into the bathroom, a small smirk on his face as James stared after him with his mouth hanging slightly open.

 

In a flash, James had suddenly latched on to Remus’ arm, “Teach me your ways!”

 

The other boy simply rolled his eyes, shoving James away and blowing a kiss at him when he put on the worst sulky look Sirius had ever seen. Sirius swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up normally, wearing a well-practiced haughty look.

 

“You’re all so disgraceful,” he said, adding the disappointed sniff his mother seemed to love before sprinting over to tackle James to the ground.

 

“IT’S THE WEEKEND!” he screamed in James’ face, making him jump slightly despite Sirius’ weight on his legs.

 

“It’s the weekend it’s the weekend it’s the weekend,” Sirius sang out repeatedly, performing a celebratory jig on James’ ankle as he tried to stand up.

 

“Sirius, get off!” James shoved the dark-haired boy off of him, sending him sprawling to the ground as he was caught mid-jig.

 

Sirius instantly leaped back up, skipping around the room singing ‘It’s the weekend!’ repeatedly. Remus reappeared from the bathroom and was instantly attacked by the still singing Sirius, pulled into a dance that clearly only Sirius knew as Remus tried to stay balanced.

 

“Jamesie boy! Come join us walk down to the common room!” Sirius called, pausing his singing, but he didn’t really give James much choice as he linked his elbow with James and physically dragged both James and Remus out of the dormitory behind him, all the while singing about the weekend.

 

As they descended, they received odd looks left, right and centre. Peter, who had somehow managed to escape the chaos by sneaking out of the dorm when James had gotten attacked, was suddenly getting dragged along behind James, who informed the boy that if he had to suffer then so should Peter. Remus grabbed Lily’s arm with the exact same excuse, as Sirius dragged them around the Common Room and out the door, all four boys still wearing pyjamas and Lily wearing her muggle clothes.

 

James, eventually looked over at Remus and, with a call of ‘if you can’t be at ‘em, join ‘em’, he soon stopped getting dragged along as he began to march alongside Sirius, joining Sirius in singing – or screaming – about the weekend. Remus and Lily exchanged a glance and, sharing an amused grimace, joined in quietly too, while Peter skipped along, not quite singing.

 

“IT IS THE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!” Sirius and James sung at the top of their voice as a finale as they burst into the Great Hall, making all the teacher’s heads turn to glare at them.

 

Sirius and James bowed before exchanging a glance and sprinting towards the Gryffindor table, leaping over the bench and landing on the same spot, Sirius sitting half on James lap. James shoved the boy off while Remus, Peter and Lily sat down at the bench opposite the two boys, Remus and Lily looking amused while Peter just eyed breakfast.

 

“You’re all horrible singers,” Remus muttered, and Sirius pretty much leaped onto his seat to squish Remus in a grip that was too tight to be a hug.

 

“Thank you so much, Remmy! You’re opinion means so much to me!”

 

Remus managed to fight his way out from Sirius’ grip and sat down on the bench again,  stretching his arms out in front of him so that they were within punching distance of Sirius, but the dark-haired boy seemed to have lost interest in him for the moment, turning instead to ask James what they were doing on ‘this fine, glorious Saturday’.

 

Lily tapped Remus’ shoulder, and he leaned closer to her as she whispered in his ear. Sirius thought it was a little odd how close the two were, although he wasn’t sure why it bothered him as much as it did. Remus tipped his head back and laughed at what she had said, and Lily slapped his shoulder lightly before going back to whispering to him, Remus occasionally replying to her in the same hushed tone.

 

“Sirius, are you even listening to me?! There’s a Whomping Willow at this school! Are you going to try touching the trunk with me or not?” James’ voice was a little louder than he probably intended, but it still didn’t warrant the panicked look that flashed across Remus’ face for an instant, nor the hurried ‘don’t’ that he said.

 

“Why not?” Sirius asked, his eyes glittering with mischief.

 

“Well… I’m sure the tree was put there for a reason.”

 

“Yeah, so Professor Sprout has another exotic species in her collection.”

 

“Do you have a death wish? That tree kills people. I’ve read about it – it’s all in the books. Why would you even want to mess around with something that can kill you?” Lily sounded incredulous.

 

“Have a sense of adventure, Evans,” James replied, rolling his eyes at her.

 

“Please don’t. I’ll help you in whichever prank you play next, but please don’t try to touch the trunk of the Whomping Willow,” Remus sounded almost desperate to keep them away, and James, Sirius and Lily all sent him an odd glance.

 

“I will acquiesce to your request,” Sirius replied, pretending to bow to the fair-haired boy, but he got the sense that this was somehow linked to whatever secret Remus was hiding, and secretly promised himself he’d try to figure it out.

 

For the rest of the day the four boys walked around the castle while Lily went to study, deciding to take the brilliant opportunity to explore the nooks and crannies their lessons hadn’t taken them to. James and Sirius were delighted to discover a secret passage that seemed to lead away from the school, and Peter was completely over the moon to catch a third-year sneak into the kitchens, which they followed as soon as the third-year left them, loading their pockets with sweets provided to them by the house-elves.

 

They eventually went to sleep, having explored the whole day – in separate beds, to Remus’ relief – but while Peter and James seemed to have no trouble whatsoever falling into a deep sleep almost instantly, Remus spent the first hour of the night plagued by a nightmare.

 

He woke up with a scream to Sirius gently shaking his shoulders. In the dark he could barely see Sirius, but even so he felt the cover lift up and Sirius slip in next to him. They lay side by side for a while, not saying anything, until finally Sirius turned over to face him, eyes that were normally light with mischief now serious.

 

“Are you ok?”

 

“Fine,” Remus replied, but Sirius was too observant for his own good.

 

“No you aren’t. What’s wrong?”

 

“It was nothing… Just a reoccurring nightmare,” Remus shrugged, his hands starting to shake as he recalled the dream, “I’ve been having it since I was four. I can deal with it.”

 

“I have a brother, you know,” Sirius said quietly, looking like he wanted nothing more than to stop talking, “he used to sneak into my room whenever he had a nightmare. We’d hide under the covers, and I would tell him stories about the adventures we’d have together in the future, and eventually we’d fall asleep. I… I probably won’t be able to protect him like that anymore. Not now that I’m in Gryffindor.”

 

He took a deep breath in, turning to look at Remus, who was still shaking from the memory of the nightmare, and Sirius covered the fair-haired boy’s hands with his own, a small smile on his face.

 

“You’re shaking,” he said, the small smile turning into a grin when the other boy smiled a little.

 

“You’re on my bed and I’m tired,” Remus muttered, looking very pointedly in the direction of Sirius’ own bed.

 

“Then sleep. I’m going to go call the others to come join us on your bed.”

 

“No, don’t do that! Sirius, let them sleep!”

 

“But you’re upset. If one of us is upset we all have to sleep on their bed.”

 

Sirius made to get up, but Remus grabbed his wrist, sending him a pleading look, “Don’t wake them up. Just let me sleep alone, I’ll be fine.”

 

“Fine, I won’t wake them up,” Sirius replied, but he lay down on the bed next to Remus, making no move to get out.

 

“Sirius…”

 

“I said I wouldn’t wake them up. I didn’t say anything about letting you deal with your nightmares alone. If one of us is upset all of us are upset.”

 

“I don’t think it works quite like that,” Remus muttered, but a small smile was crossing his face as Sirius shifted towards him, away from the edge.

 

Remus drifted off almost instantly, and Sirius soon followed suit as soon as he was sure Remus wasn’t having another nightmare.

 

Halfway through the night, a cold breeze suddenly woke Sirius up as James lifted the edge of the covers and slid in beside him, looking half-asleep.

 

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked quietly, but James only muttered that he had remembered something sad from a novel he had read, and that he just wanted to sleep.

 

They shifted over to give each other more space, a sleepy Remus also shifting a little to the side, and all three boys fell asleep huddled together under the same quilt, Peter’s snores from the other side of the room acting as their only lullaby.


	5. Chapter 5

Remus lazily flicked his wand at Professor McGonagall’s chalkboard, too bored to truly care that they were breaking the rules. No one was getting hurt by this prank, at least. Slowly, the letters on the board started moving, forming rude words and insulting phrases as James took control over what they were doing, his wand flicking subtly from under his desk.

 

It was a day that seemed to be taking forever, by everyone’s accounts. Even the teachers kept looking at the clocks, wanting nothing more than to leave the cold classrooms in favour of their beds. McGonagall didn’t even dock any points from anyone for the prank – everyone welcomed a laugh in miserable weather.

 

“Remus, did you manage to transfigure your match yet?” Sirius whispered from beside him, making the fair-haired boy jump.

 

Remus pointed his wand at the match and muttered the incantation for the spell, and it changed colour, turning the same silver as a needle, but clearly still a match.

 

“No, not yet.”

 

Sirius sighed, pointed his wand at the match and muttered the incantation, watching the needle as it copied Remus’ match.

 

“I think we might be forgetting someth-“ Remus began, but was interrupted by a scream from Peter as his match suddenly set on fire, catching his desk on fire at the same time.

 

“ _Aguamenti!_ ” Sirius hissed almost instantly, shooting a tiny jet of water at the desk and successfully putting out the fire despite frightening Peter even more.

 

 McGonagall scolded Peter half-heartedly before commenting that the aguamenti spell was one of the more complicated spells and commended Sirius on his ability before returning to her desk.

 

“Where did you learn that?”

 

“My brother was a bit of a pyromaniac when he was younger. He’d accidentally set things on fire with his magic whenever he was upset. Uncle Alphard ended up teaching both of us the aguamenti spell when Regulus set his curtains on fire.”

 

Remus watched him with interest for a while before turning back to his needle, trying to transfigure it again into a needle.

 

James suddenly let out a whoop of success, holding up a fully transfigured needle, giving both Sirius and Remus the push they needed to transfigure their own matches into needles, holding them up proudly for inspection.

 

Peter still seemed to be having trouble, but he finally manage to make the match change colour and held it up next to the other three’s needles looking proud of himself. Lily, of course, had already changed her match into a needle before even James had managed, but kept it on her desk and sat there calmly.

 

“It’s Christmas soon,” Sirius said quietly as they left the classroom, the three other boys falling into step beside him.

 

“Are you staying at Hogwarts?” James asked, and Sirius shrugged.

 

“I can’t,” Remus said quietly, sounding a little upset by it.

 

“Peter?”

 

“Mum needs me back home.”

 

“And I think mum’ll have my head if I try to stay over Christmas.”

 

“Mother’ll have my head whether I stay with her over Christmas or not,” Sirius muttered gloomily, and he felt Remus squeeze his shoulder lightly for a fraction of a second.

 

“Then join me for the holidays,” Remus suggested, his eyes suddenly twinkling a little with excitement at the prospect.

 

“What about us?” Peter asked on behalf of both him and James.

 

“Well, what if we all met up after actual Christmas and had our own Christmas?” James suggested, and murmurs of agreement ran through the rest of the boys.

 

“I’ll go write to my mum. Can you write to yours? Mum would want to know that your parents are ok with you going.”

 

Sirius suddenly deflated, realising his mother probably wouldn’t let him.

 

As if Remus knew what he was thinking, he added, “You don’t know what her answer will be unless you write to her. And if she disagrees, I’ll smuggle you out anyway.”

 

“Thanks, Remus.”

 

Remus said nothing other than to grab his elbow and drag him back up to their dorm, where he grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. He scrawled a quick letter to his mum and rolled it up before handing another piece of parchment and a quill to Sirius.

 

The eldest Black took the quill from Remus with shaking hands, and Remus guided him over to a writing desk, spreading the parchment out in front of him.

 

After a whole minute where Sirius still hadn’t managed to put his pen to paper, and Remus carefully took the quill from the other boy’s hands as he sat down in Sirius’ lap, earning him an odd look from Remus.

 

“I’ll write it. You’re not allowed to leave, though.”

 

Sirius’ look was so grateful Remus was almost scared to send someone who could inspire so much fear in the normally brave boy, but his determination and logic won out and he began to pen the letter to Sirius’ parents.

 

‘ _Dear Mr and Mrs Black,_

_My name is Remus John Lupin, I’m a friend of Sirius’. I wanted to ask your permission to allow Sirius to stay at my house over this Christmas. I’m about to send an owl to my parents asking if he can stay there too. Can you please think about it?_

_Sincerely,_

_Remus Lupin’_

Remus put the quill down and let Sirius read the letter apprehensively.

 

“You write like a pureblood. I think mother always resented the fact that I couldn’t write formally. Maybe she’ll let me stay with you with the hope that I’ll learn how to act.”

 

“You really should stop saying that,” Remus muttered, rolling up the parchment with a satisfied look on his face.

 

“Saying what?”

 

“Saying that people do things ‘like a pureblood’. I’m not ashamed to be a half-blood. Half-bloods and muggleborns can do things as well as purebloods. I mean, take a look at Lily – she’s 100% muggleborn and she’s one of the smartest people I know.”

 

Sirius sighed, “you’re right. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Sorry.”

 

The answer was too clipped for Remus’ liking, and he set the letter down in favour of hugging the eldest Black, comforting him in the only way Remus knew how to. It took a moment, but eventually Sirius hugged him back, the shaking that hadn’t gone away since he had handed Sirius the quill slowly subsiding as Sirius held onto Remus for support.

 

“Are you ok?” Remus asked, but soon added, without letting Sirius reply, “No, of course you aren’t. But it’s ok. I can’t always understand what’s wrong, but I’m your friend, yeah? You can trust me. And I’ll always have your back – I said I’d fight your mum if you wanted me to and I wasn’t lying. And James and Peter and Lily would also fight your mum if you wanted them too, even if they don’t say so or show it. Oh, look at that, I’m rambling, sorry, I’m, uh, not good at comforting people… Um… Did you want some chocolate?”

 

Sirius was chuckling, though, even as his breathing was ragged with emotion and his grey eyes seemed to be a storm of emotion.

 

“I don’t know what you’re saying, Remus, you’re excellent at comforting people,” Sirius commented, accepting the small square of Honeyduke’s chocolate that Remus offered to him and popping it into his mouth.

 

“Must have something to do with watching you ramble like an idiot,” Sirius said, making the fair-haired boy blush.

 

“You mean, making a fool of myself more than usual?”

 

“I don’t think you’ve ever actually made a fool of yourself, Remmy. Like… Never. It James and Peter and I who do that.”

 

“Peter seems to manage it enough for the three of us, though,” Remus’ voice was teasing, but there was a kind smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye that told Sirius that he truly cared about his friends, and it warmed Sirius’ heart to know he had managed to befriend such a good person. He vowed to himself to never leave the side of this boy who could teach him all the good in the world that his family denied.

 

“Come on, I have letters to send. Do you mind if I borrow your owl? It might be quicker to send two than just one,” Remus was already halfway out the door, on his way to the owlery.

 

“Sure, but do you mind not sending him home? My parents would have a fit.”

 

“Of course not,” Remus replied quietly, but he said nothing more as he lead the way to the owlery.

 

A silvery owl instantly glided over to Remus’ shoulder, hooting softly, and Remus patted the owl for a few seconds before tying the letter to Sirius’ parents to the owl’s leg.

 

“Now you be careful, yeah? Watch yourself, if Sirius’ parents get angry and try to hurt you, you get out of there ASAP, got it?” Remus quietly fussed over the owl, and Sirius couldn’t help but smile as the owl gave Remus an affectionate nip before flying out into the open.

 

“Which one’s yours?” Remus asked, and Sirius led him to the side of a regal owl that so obviously caused the other owls so much discomfort that they gave it a wide berth – all but a single owl that looked too old to care about how imposing Sirius’ owl was.

 

“Hello there… What’s his name?”

 

“Sagittarius.”

 

“Hello there, Sagittarius. I was hoping you’d be able to deliver a letter for me to my parents,” Remus’ voice was calm and kind, a tone of voice Sirius knew most animals loved, but he was still surprised to see the regal Black owl fly onto Remus’ shoulder, letting out an appreciative hoot when Remus patted his back.

 

“How did you do that?” Sirius asked, and Remus looked up from his fussing over Sagittarius, a questioning look on his face.

 

“Sagittarius has been stuck up from the day I got him. I didn’t think he had the capacity to even be friendly.”

 

“Never assume that of an animal. If you treat them right, animals will be your best friends. You just can’t give up on them,” Remus sounded like he was speaking from personal experience, and Sirius once again got the feeling the fair-haired boy wasn’t telling him everything.

 

“You try, Sagittarius is actually a very friendly owl.”

 

Sirius was doubtful, but he held out an arm to the regal owl anyway, saying quietly “Hi, Sagittarius…”

 

He was surprised to see the owl hop onto his arm after briefly regarding him, and carefully stroked the feathers on his back, “Sorry for not treating you better until now. Maybe we both just needed a friend to show each other we aren’t that bad, huh?”

 

Sirius continued to stroke the soft feathers on the dark owl’s back, beginning to smile widely as the owl nestled against Sirius’ side in the crook of his elbow, giving the tip of his hair a playful nip. Remus caught himself smiling at Sirius, the boy who had been so destroyed by his family’s twisted values that a friendly owl sent him over the moon with happiness. As the owl snoozed in the crook of Sirius’ elbow, Remus gently tied the letter to Sagittarius’ foot before Sirius prodded the sleepy owl awake and sent him off to find Remus’ parents.

 

“Not everything’s out to get you, Sirius,” Remus informed the boy quietly as Sirius stared after his owl.

 

“Is it sad that I’m only finding out about it now?”

 

“How can that be sad? You’re finding out that not everything’s out to get you. It’s not sad, it’s happy and free and… other positive emotions.”

 

Sirius laughed at his friends inability to put his thoughts into words, linking his elbow through Remus’ and skipping down to dinner with thoughts of his parents a million miles away.

 

*     *     *

 

“Sirius? What’s wrong?” Peter asked as he, James and Remus walked into their dorm.

 

“I got a letter back from my parents.”

 

Remus got a crick in his neck from quickly he turned his head. His parents had already owled back that morning saying that any friend of his was welcome at the Lupin’s home, but when Sirius’ parents hadn’t responded yet by dinner, they started getting worried.

 

“And…?” Remus asked, too aware of his friend’s proneness to be melodramatic to risk making assumptions.

 

“I’m allowed to go.”

 

“That’s brilliant, mate!” James smiled brightly at Sirius, but Remus sensed there was more.

 

“Sirius, what’s wrong.”

 

The crinkle of parchment in Sirius’ right hand alerted him to the fact that Sirius was trying to keep it away from him.

 

“I’m sorry, Remus…” Sirius’ voice was so quiet, Remus thought he had imagined it.

 

“Sirius, show me.”

 

“No.”

 

“Sirius, I don’t care, believe me I’ve probably heard worse.”

 

Sirius didn’t seem to want to relinquish the parchment, but Remus plucked it out from his grip without giving him a choice, and Sirius turned to face away from him.

 

Remus, torn between wanting to know what was wrong and comfort Sirius, climbed onto Sirius’ bed and sat within close proximity of the boy before smoothing out the parchment and reading the words written there.

 

_Sirius,_

_You have interesting friend choices. A Lupin – not only a blood-traitor, but a half-blood if I hear correctly. I must say, I’m disappointed in you. Just because you are a blood-traitor doesn’t mean you have to associate yourself with the lowest of the low._

_I don’t care what you do this Christmas, just don’t come home and taint your brother with your traitorous ways._

_Walburga Black_

_The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black_

“I’m sorry, Remus… I never should have become friends with you, now you have to put up with this from my family.”

 

Remus just stared at him for a few moments, unblinking, before punching him on his arm. Hard.

 

“What in merlin’s name-“

 

“You’re a git, you know that? A right git. You think I care about being called names by an old-fashioned bat more than I care about my friends? You’re actually insane.”

 

Sirius was smiling more and more at Remus’ outburst, but there was one phrase that lingered in his mind, that brought his spirits down. ‘You are a blood-traitor’. He had heard his mother call a million different people blood-traitors, but it hurt to hear her call him that.

 

“Remus, do you plan on passing over the letter so we can all lie on Sirius’ bed and call his mother an ugly cow until we fall asleep or not?” James called, and Remus quickly followed suit as Sirius smiled wider.

 

“Blood-traitor my ass,” James muttered as handed over the parchment to Peter before climbing onto the bed and leaning heavily against Sirius’ shoulder.

 

“What’s ‘ass’?” Remus asked out of the blue, earning himself amused chuckles from everyone – including Peter.

 

James and Sirius winked at each other as they slapped their respective asses, high-fiving each other when they sat back down.

 

“How don’t you know what an ass is yet? I was forced to go to Muggle school and everyone there knows what it is…”

 

“I, uh, didn’t go to Muggle school.”

 

“You were tutored?” Sirius asked, eyes flying wide.

 

“Um no, not that either. I was, uh, home schooled. My mum taught me. I used to be very, um, sick.”

 

“Your mum never swore?”

 

“No, never. “

 

James was watching him with the oddest look, but suddenly an evil grin crossed over his face, and he looked over at Sirius and Peter.

 

“Boys we have a job to do! We have to teach Remus swear words!” James called extravagantly, but then he turned to look at Sirius, adding, “But first, we are sharing this bed tonight. One of our number is down, we have to provide back up. So please, Sirius, tell us about that hag you’re unfortunately related to.”


	6. Chapter 6

James nudged Sirius as Remus slipped into the Transfiguration classroom a few minutes late on the last day of school before the Christmas holidays, looking ready to collapse. It was the fourth time Remus had seemed close to collapsing, but it was the first time he had stumbled into Transfiguration, and Sirius waited with bated breath to see what McGonagall would say, but she seemed to be ignoring him as he sat down in his chair with an audible thud.

 

_Are you ok?_

Sirius folded the note into a small plane and charmed it to fly to Remus’ desk, landing neatly against the tips of the fair-haired boy’s fingers.

 

With a worried frown he watched as Remus unfolded the note and scribbled an answer, folding it back up and sending it back.

 

_Fine._

 

Sirius stared at the word written on the paper, unable to believe that Remus had written it. The usually elegant and curling script was gone, replaced by shaky handwriting that was almost unreadable.

 

_No you aren’t. Where were you last night?_

_My aunt fell ill._

_Are all your family members falling ill?_

_Something like that._

Sirius sighed loudly, leaning back in his chair.

 

Remus glanced over at Sirius, and Sirius saw a flash of fear, cutting deep like a knife. It chilled him to the bone, the thought of something that could make the fair-haired boy so afraid, but even so he found himself hurt a little by how little Remus trusted him.

 

After a few minutes of simply staring straight ahead, unblinking, Remus found his head was slowly drooping to meet the desk. Sirius waited with baited breath to see what would happen when Professor McGonagall noticed he wasn’t even trying to transfigure his mouse, and sure enough she walked in his direction, but rather than stop and scold him she merely placed a small, brown block on his desk as she walked by.

 

Remus picked up the package and carefully nibbled on the corner, looking much better than he had been a few seconds ago. The class drew to a close by the time it was completely gone, and Remus quickly sneaked up to the Professor’s desk. James and Sirius stalled, waiting for the fair-haired boy to finish his hushed conversation.

 

“What did she give you?” Sirius asked the second Remus was standing back at his side.

 

“It was nothing. Something to wake me up a little. She knew about my aunt, knew I’d been awake most of last night.”

 

“Remus…” Sirius began, shifting awkwardly as he tried to get a gage on how Remus was feeling, “You know you can trust me – I mean, us – yeah?”

 

“I know.”

 

 _No you don’t_ Sirius thought to himself, hurt. _If you did you’d tell us what’s wrong._

*     *     *

“Sirius Black, I’m guessing?” The man standing in front of him was tall and gangly, with the exact same face as Remus only older.

 

“Yes, Mr Lupin,” Sirius replied politely, calling on his lessons about etiquette and accepting a warm handshake.

 

“Hey, Remus, Sirius! I’ll owl you!” James called from where he stood near his parents, waving at them before bounding after his parents.

 

Both Remus and Sirius waved back, exchanging an amused glance as he left. They waved at Peter, as well, and Sirius called out that they would be in touch, but Peter only waved briefly before following his own mum.

 

“I’m glad you’ve made friends,” Sirius heard Mr Lupin say in a quiet tone to Remus, who shrugged and muttered that they wouldn’t let him not be friends with him.

 

“Come on, Sirius!” Remus called out, noticing the boy standing slightly away from them, shuffling his feet.

 

Remus hoisted his trunk over his shoulder, ignoring Mr Lupin’s complaints, and started walking to the barrier, Sirius following suit. They both made it through ahead of Mr Lupin, and Remus began guiding him out of the building and into the muggle world, guiding him over to a strange sort of muggle vehicle Sirius didn’t recognise.

 

“It’s called a car,” Mr Lupin said as Remus opened a latch on the back of the vehicle and put his trunk inside, gesturing that Sirius should do the same, “It’s how muggles get around.”

 

“How does it work?” Sirius asked, but to his surprise Mr Lupin merely shrugged.

 

“I don’t know. I can get you some books from a friend, if you want to learn about them, they will be only too glad to get rid of them.”

 

Remus opened a door and slid inside, turning and patting the seat next to him, all the while looking at Sirius. With a great deal of wariness, Sirius stepped through the door and sat down next to the fair-haired boy while Mr Lupin got into one of the seats in front.

 

“Why is he sitting there?” Sirius asked, and Remus let out a small laugh.

 

“I forget how little you know about muggle things. The driver sits in the front and he controls the car using that wheel and the pedals down the bottom. My dad is driving today.”

 

“Have you ever driven?”

 

“I’m too young to drive, you have to be 17.”

 

Sirius leaned backwards thoughtfully and was quiet for the rest of the trip while Mr Lupin inquired about Remus’ studies and Remus did his best to answer all his questions. He couldn’t help but compare them to the Blacks, and found that he liked the polite way they treated each other, how Mr Lupin listened when Remus spoke and how Remus, in turn, listened when Mr Lupin spoke.

 

“Well, we’re here. I might just warn you though, Sirius, Hope is a muggle, and so we live like muggles and try not to perform magic. If you don’t understand how something works, feel free to ask,” Mr Lupin said kindly but strictly, in the same calm manner that Sirius had come to attribute to Remus.

 

“Dad, I’m sure he can handle a bit of electricity,” Remus muttered, and Mr Lupin held up his hands in defeat, grabbing both their trunks from what Sirius now knew was called the ‘boot’ of the car.

 

Mrs Lupin turned out to be one of the nicest parental figures Sirius had met – which didn’t say much, what with all the parental figures Sirius knew, but was still definitely worth something to him. He barely knew her, and yet she had welcomed him into her home with a warm hug and a smile before inviting both Sirius and Remus onto the couch where she asked both of them about school and what they had been up to.

 

“James and I jumped onto the table,” Sirius was saying, laughing along with her while Remus only smiled encouragingly at him, “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten the stink-eye from so many people at once, but we stood on that table and set off the fireworks in the middle of the Great Hall. Dumbledore’s face was priceless!”

 

“You didn’t see McGonagall’s face, then. She had to excuse herself from the table because of how hard she was laughing,” Remus commented, and Sirius burst into a fresh wave of laughter remembering their Halloween together.

 

“Hope, I need to go to work. I’ll try to get back in time for dinner,” Mr Lupin called to his wife who stood up and, with a suggestion that Remus show Sirius around the house, walked him out of the house.

 

Remus grabbed Sirius by the arm and led him to the intersection in the corridor that led to the front door, pointing in the general direction of the room as he said, “Kitchen, my bedroom, my parents’ bedroom, the bathroom, the living room, and the guest-bedroom-turned-study.”

 

Sirius followed as Remus led him into his own bedroom, closing the door behind them. Sirius looked around the room and smiled at the intense feeling of ‘Remus’ that washed over him as he saw the stacks of books that were in neat piles in every corner of the room, his clothes in a neat pile on the floor other than his socks which were, as always, lying forgotten on the floor.

 

Remus had a pinned up very little on his walls. Sirius had put up his own drawings on his walls and had since childhood, but Remus only had a calendar and a small, unmoving photograph of a young Remus hugging a huge dog twice his size.

 

“I used to call her floppy because I couldn’t say Poppy. She was my aunt’s dog and she was the sweetest thing… She would be sleeping and I’d use her as a mattress.”

 

“What happened to her?”

 

“She died when I was six.”

 

“Oh,” was all Sirius could think of saying, and he walked over to look at the stacks of novels that were currently taking up the left half of Remus’ desk.

 

“Sylvia Plath,” Sirius read off the cover, and Remus, quick as a flash, grabbed the book and hid it in his bookshelf.

 

“Don’t mind the books. They’re everywhere. Anyway, you’ll be sleeping here. Dad still needs to get the mattress and sheets out, but your trunk’s over there and dad’s enlarged the wardrobe so you have some space to put your things there too if you need them.”

 

Sirius walked over to his trunk, brushing his hand against the expensive leather outside. He still remembered going with his mother to buy it, yelling at the poor witch that she hopes her blood hasn’t been tainted enough that she can’t even make a trunk. He couldn’t be in a more different environment in Remus’ house.

 

“What’s this?” Sirius asked as he walked over to a shelf lined with odd square boxes.

 

“Oh, they’re cassettes. They, uh, play music. Here, I’ll show you,” Remus grabbed one of the boxes and opened it to reveal a curious looking device.

 

He took the cassette to an even more curious looking device and placed the cassette inside the opening, pressing a few buttons on the unknown device as he did so.

 

All of a sudden, the room was filled with odd sounds that Sirius couldn’t identify until eventually the guitar started playing with a background of drums. Sirius was stunned to hear just what muggle bands could achieve. An odd, crooning voice began to sing.

 

Sirius was too stunned to pay attention, but as Remus quietly tapped his foot along to the beat and started singing, he couldn’t help but stare at the boy in front of him.

 

_Long you live and high you fly_

_And smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry_

_And all you touch and all you see_

_Is all your life will ever be_

Remus stopped singing, noticing that he was being watched, and instead blushed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

 

“It’s, uh, one of my favourite songs,” Remus said, sounding like he was trying to excuse his behaviour.

 

Sirius only grinned in response, “It’s great. How do you use the... Thing that eats the… cassette? Can you only listen to a cassette once? How much music is on one cassette?”

 

Remus laughed at the onslaught of questions, grabbing Sirius by the elbow and dragging him over to the odd device.

 

“This is a cassette player,” Remus said as he fussed with the machine and made it spit out the cassette again, “To open the player, you press this button here. Then, you put the cassette into the gap there, see? Make sure the holes line up to the knobs. Then, you push this bit closed and press this button to play.”

 

Sirius looked more lost than he had looked when he, James and Remus had found themselves in an obscure corridor at Hogwarts that they hadn’t ever been to.

 

“And it just… Works?” Sirius sounded doubtful, but Remus nodded.

 

“Boys, did you want anything? I was thinking of baking a few cookies so if you’re willing to wait…” Mrs Lupin poked her head around the door, smiling at Sirius and Remus.

 

“Can we help?” Remus asked, sending a questioning glance at Sirius.

 

“Of course, help is always welcome. I’ll be in the kitchen, Rem,” Mrs Lupin said as she left the room.

 

“How can we help? Didn’t she learn house-keeping spells?”

 

Remus sent Sirius an amused glance, looking suddenly three times older than Sirius for some reason, “Even if she had, she wouldn’t be able to do them. She’s a muggle, remember?”

 

Sirius felt his ears turn an impressive shade of red, but he acted like he wasn’t actually embarrassed.

 

“So how do you make cookies?”

 

“The muggle way or the wizarding way?” Remus asked, looking amused.

 

“I’ve only seen one person make cookies ever, and that was my aunt Andromeda, so either.”

 

“Well… I don’t know about the wizarding way, but the muggle way is very simple. You just mix the ingredients in a bowl, roll it out on a bench, cut shapes into the dough and bake it in the oven. Come on, if we go to the kitchen we’ll make them together.”

 

*     *     *

It turns out that Sirius is a natural at baking while Remus was simply a disaster in the kitchen. Sirius was rather elegantly and carefully pouring milk into the bowl when Remus dropped a cloud of flower on his feet, leaving Sirius staring at  him open-mouthed.

 

“Sorry,” Remus said, but he was smiling too widely for Sirius’ liking, and the dark-haired boy scooped up as much flour as he could off the ground and threw it back at Remus, beginning a fully-blown flour war.

 

Even Mrs Lupin had joined in a little as flour slowly spread in all directions around the kitchen the more they threw it around. They all refrained from grabbing too much flour from the packet, but by the time they decided they were tired and needed to get flour out of their hair they were all covered by at least a fourth of whatever had initially been in the packet, and the cookies were quite unmade.

 

Mrs Lupin shooed Remus out of the kitchen to shower, telling Sirius that he was next, but even so she let him work with her, helping him roll out the dough and cut out the shapes.

 

“Remus hasn’t had a lot of friends. Not since he was six, anyway,” Mrs Lupin said quietly to him suddenly while Sirius was in the process of cutting out a dog-shaped cookie.

 

Sirius wasn’t sure how to respond to her statement, but he soon realised he didn’t have to when she continued talking.

 

“From what Remus tells me, I’m guessing you haven’t either?”

 

“No, Mrs Lupin.”

 

“We’ll have none of that, Sirius, call me Hope,” she said suddenly, looking threatening with a rolling pin in one hand but for the teasing look in her eye, and she soon turned back to her own set of cookies, “You’re a good person, Sirius.”

 

Sirius looked up at her, genuinely stunned to be complimented by her. Adults never gave him compliments, particularly not in that sincere tone of voice.

 

“You really think so?” Sirius asked, realising a little too late that it may be the wrong thing to say, although if Hope thought so she didn’t comment on it.

 

“I do. But do you think you are? You’re your most important critic,” Hope scooped all her cut cookies onto a baking tray and held it out for Sirius to do the same.

 

Sirius brushed them onto the tray and watched as Hope grabbed an oven mitt and used it to put the tray in the oven, a device Sirius had only heard Kreacher, his house’ elf, mutter about.

 

Remus walked back into the kitchen at that moment, hair still dripping from his shower.

 

“Come on, Sirius, I’ll show you where you can shower and I’ll get a towel for you to use, ok?” Hope asked, not waiting for his answer as she breezed out of the room.

 

“You might want to follow her, she might go into full mum mode on you if you don’t.”

 

Sirius almost stayed back only to experience what ‘full mum mode’ might be, but his feet carried him out of the room and onto the path right behind the kindly woman.

 

When Sirius finally left the shower, he found both Hope and Remus lying back to back on the couch, reading their own separate books. Remus’ tome looked incredibly heavy, and if the way Remus was struggling to hold it up to his nose was any indication at all, it probably was. He seemed completely engrossed in the novel, unblinking eyes darting around the page on a mission to absorb whatever was written. Hope, on the other hand, was flicking through a small paperback, covering her mouth occasionally to conceal a fit of giggles.

 

Mrs Lupin stood up when he announced his entrance, quickly walking into the kitchen and making a lot of crashing sounds which Remus winced at. Sirius took her seat, propping his feet up on Remus’ stomach.

 

“What’re you reading?”

 

“The Great Big Book of How To Get Sirius’ Feet Off Me.”

 

“Oh, that’s quite an easy answer to give, actually! You don’t!”

 

“Or…” Remus began with an evil grin as he put the book down on a small coffee table and leaping forward, pinning Sirius to the couch and tickling his sides relentlessly, making Sirius squirm in between giggles, “I could just do this!”

 

Sirius eventually managed to squirm his way out of Remus’ grip, beginning a small wrestling match which ended in both of them falling off the couch and landing on the floor with elbows in faces and knees in stomachs.

 

They quickly jumped apart when they heard footsteps approaching, sitting down hurriedly on the couch and pretending they had been there the whole time by the time Hope returned, holding a batch of freshly-baked cookies.

 

“Dig in,” she said, placing the tray on the coffee table and moving Remus’ book to a bookstand.

 

Sirius wasted no time in grabbing a cookie, much to Hope’s amusement, but she seemed more than a little surprised when Remus, too, grabbed a cookie and rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder, chewing quietly while Sirius rambled on about how he was going to take over the world.

 

Neither Remus nor Sirius moved for a long time, despite small meaningful looks from Hope that both boys either missed or chose to ignore. Remus was quite comfortable leaning on Sirius’ shoulder, and Sirius wasn’t complaining at all – no, he was enjoying the warmth that Remus was emanating.

 

They spent the rest of their evening in some way casually touching each other like that, from elbows touching during dinner, to Sirius lying on Remus’ shoulder after dinner in the living room along with both Hope and Mr Lupin, to climbing into bed at each other’s side, Sirius knowing full well that it helped Remus with his nightmares a little while taking comfort at the closeness of the boy who had time and time again proven that unlike Sirius’ mother, Remus actually cared about him and didn’t hate him.


	7. Chapter 7

“Sirius! Sirius, wake up, it’s Christmas!”

 

Sirius opened his eyes blearily as Remus leaped off his bed. He rubbed his eyes, stretching luxuriously on Remus’ bed before standing up, his eyes unfocused and hair sticking up oddly in all directions.

 

Remus glanced over and laughed at the state of the other boy, but when Sirius tried to make for the mirror to fix his hair he grabbed his elbow and shoved him out of the bedroom and into the living room, making a beeline for the Christmas tree.

 

Sirius stood awkwardly to one side while Remus scrounged his presents out from under the tree and sat down on the floor, laying them out in size order with a happy grin on his face. He felt his heart sink as Remus began fiddling with the wrapping paper, only to look up at him with a small, confused smile.

 

“Aren’t you going to open yours?”

 

“I have presents?” Sirius asked looking slightly amazed at the concept.

 

“Of course you do. Did you really think no one was going to get you anything?”

 

The truth was, yes, he had genuinely thought no one was going to get him anything. He occasionally got a card and sweets from his uncle Alphard and just a card from his brother, Regulus and his aunt Andromeda, but it was never under a Christmas tree, and it never really felt like, well, a present.

 

He knelt down next to the tree, scanning through the presents. He smiled to see his own small package to Mr and Mrs Lupin under the tree, but his smile widened significantly when he saw three packages bearing his name – two perfectly packaged with neatly pressed corners and precise edges, one slightly misshapen with the tape coming off in sections.

 

He gathered them in his arms and backed out from the under the tree, placing them all in size order, copying Remus’ actions.

 

He began carefully unwrapping the smallest one – the slightly misshapen one – and Sirius smiled as it revealed a small bear wearing a little Christmas hat holding a jar full of Sirius’ favourite cookies that Hope had made. He saw a small note hidden inside the bear’s hat and pulled it out, carefully, smiling at Hope’s curly, girlish writing wishing him a sweet Christmas and a happy new year.

 

Remus was watching him with a small smile on his face, having opened three of his presents already – one from his mother, one from an aunt and one from a distant cousin. The gift from his mother was in the same style as Sirius’, a little bear with a red hat, but instead of holding a jar of cookies it held a book with the words ‘The Hobbit’ emblazoned on the front. The other two gifts were an odd assortment of chocolate and cassettes.

 

Sirius caught him looking and sent him the biggest smile he could manage, trying to show him how much it meant to him to get presents like this – to be a normal kid for once during Christmas. Both soon went back to unwrapping presents – Remus simply tearing the wrappings off while Sirius did his best to preserve the wrapping paper.

Sirius pulled the four muggle magazines out of the wrappings with interest, and almost instantly began flicking through them, scanning through the pictures of cars and motor bikes and the short articles about engines and petrol. He made a mental note to read through them as thoroughly as he could and to hide them from his mother the next time he saw her.

 

He turned to unwrap Remus’ gift, and found himself simply staring at the cassette player he had revealed, trying to wrap his head around the gift. Remus was watching him – he could feel it – but he found he was too stunned by the gift to respond. He clicked the eject button and was surprised to see a cassette already in it. It wasn’t labelled at all other than a small sticker saying it was a mixtape.

 

“Thank you,” Sirius said quietly, looking up from Remus’ gift to see Remus opening his own present.

 

It was a framed picture of them with Lily, James and Peter. They had been having a snowball fight in the open, and Sirius had discreetly taken a picture of the whole laughing group. As Sirius watched, picture Remus laughed loudly as Lily copped a face full of snow from James and shot the messy-haired boy a dark look while real Remus smiled and the tips of his long fingers brushed the edge of the picture fondly.

 

“I know it’s not much but-“ Sirius began, but he was cut off before he could say another word as Remus pulled him into a fierce hug.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Remus let go of Sirius, smiling at him as he started collecting all the wrapping paper he had ripped apart and taking them to the bin, longer pieces of paper getting tangled around his legs as he walked.

 

Sirius instead folded the wrappers as neatly as he could and placed them inside one of his new muggle magazines, wanting to remind himself of this day for as long as he possibly could. They gathered their presents together and carried them to Remus’ room, throwing the less important ones on the bed haphazardly while placing those they considered more important in a much more careful manner. Remus set the photo up on his desk, clearing a small space for it in between the stacks of books. Picture Remus was now throwing a snowball half-heartedly at Peter, who was sneaking up behind him.

 

“You don’t mind having to sit in on the annual Lupin and Howell Christmas party, do you?” Remus asked out of the blue, not meeting his eyes.

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure? Not all my family are like my parents and I. Most of them are my mum’s family, and there are a lot of Irish people who are always drunk and it’s never a good party unless something gets burned and-“

 

“Sounds fun, Remy,” Sirius said, sitting down on Remus’ bed and propping his feet up on the bed’s frame.

 

Remus turned to smile at Sirius, walking over to his side and lying down next to him, “I’m glad you could stay.”

 

Sirius turned to look at him but instead found himself rolling onto Remus’ chest, and he realised he really didn’t want to move now, “I’m glad I could too. Especially when it means being away from my hag of a mother.”

 

Remus chuckled, and Sirius felt the vibrations from his chest, masking the steady thump of his heart which he could only hear very faintly.

 

“Remus, Aunt Grace and Uncle Branden are here!” Hope called, and Sirius leaned up a little to let Remus get up with a soft groan.

 

“Coming, mum.”

 

Sirius sat up slowly, looking unsure, and Remus smiled and held out his arm, which Sirius took and together they marched to the front door, Remus letting go to hug his aunt and shake his uncle’s hands momentarily.

 

He could instantly tell that they were from Hope’s side of the family – Grace had almost the exact same features as Hope did other than her hair, which was dark as night compared to Hope’s lighter hair.

 

“Grace, Branden, this is Sirius. He’s a friend of mine from school.”

 

“So we’ve heard. It’s nice to meet you, Sirius,” Branden said kindly, holding out his hand.

 

Sirius shook it politely, muttering a “nice to meet you.”

 

Mr and Mrs Lupin guided both of Remus’ relatives into the living room while Remus and Sirius, after exchanging a glance, went back to Remus’ room.

 

“We need to leave for the party in an hour,” Remus said quietly when they reached his room, “You don’t happen to have some formal muggle clothes, do you?”

 

“No…”

 

“I’ll lend you one of mine. There’ll be mostly muggles there – on my dad’s side I only have an uncle, and he’s the only other wizard I know in my family.”

 

“What about your grandparents?”

 

“All four are dead. On my mum’s side, they died in a muggle war, on my dad’s side they both caught some sort of odd disease that St. Mungo’s hadn’t seen before.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Remus shrugged, turning to his wardrobe and digging out a crisp white button up and a pair of muggle pants and throwing them at Sirius, “Put those on.”

 

Sirius didn’t bother leaving the room as he got changed, but when Remus retrieved his clothes from his wardrobe he almost instantly made to leave the room.

 

“Remy?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Why do you never get dressed with anyone else in the room?”

 

Remus froze, turning to look at Sirius. Sirius saw the flash of secretiveness in his eyes, and he suddenly remembered that Remus was hiding something. During his time at the Lupins’ he had managed to forget the enigma that was Remus, but now it hit him all over again the fact that Remus was hiding something, and Sirius was determined to figure it out.

 

“I just… Why?”

 

“Cause everyone else does. I mean, we’re both boys. None of us cares.”

 

Remus’ eyes were downcast as he shrugged.

 

“I just don’t like getting dressed with other people in the room.”

 

One of the fair-haired boy’s hands were now resting on his shoulder, gripping the skin there as if it were paining him.

 

“Is it because of the scars? Don’t look at me like that, I saw them on your legs when you forgot to put your pants back on in the morning when you went to the bathroom.”

 

“Yes,” was all Remus said in reply, his head hanging low as he stared at his feet.

 

“Remy, you know no one cares if you have scars. They’re cool – make you look tough.”

 

Remus took in a deep breath, clearly trying to be calm as he looked up, his gaze guarded and almost hostile. Sirius barely recognised the boy in front of him.

 

“If you don’t mind, I’ll just go get dressed,” Remus replied coolly, leaving a confused Sirius behind.

 

Sirius wandered around his friends’ room, lost in thought. What could it be that Remus was hiding? The scars were obviously something extremely relevant to it by the way Remus had reacted to them being mentioned. Sirius couldn’t help but speculate about some disastrous accident that had happened to him when he was younger and left him all scarred, but he soon snapped out of it as he heard Remus walk back into the room, a kind smile now replacing the previously hostile look on his face.

 

“I think my clothes fit you better than they ever fit me,” Remus said, casting a critical glance over Sirius.

 

Sirius was shorter than Remus, but he was more broad-shouldered than him and although the shirt was slightly too long for him, his broader chest filled out the shirt in a way Remus’ lanky, skinny body never managed to.

 

“My, aren’t you handsome!” Grace said as she walked into the room, followed by Hope.

 

“Oh excellent, you’re already dressed! Come on, Lyall’s waiting in the car.”

 

*     *     *

 

“That over there is Uncle Cygnus. He always thinks he can hold his liquor better than anyone else because he’s the only Scottish one in the family. I’m not convinced,” Remus said, pointing at a man who was quite clearly drunk and was trying to get Lyall to dance with him even so.

 

“Your dad doesn’t look happy.”

 

“He doesn’t like Uncle Cygnus. He ran away from home for a week with a man because he wasn’t ready to tell his family he was gay, and my dad hasn’t liked him since,” the casual way Remus said it made Sirius think he misheard what Remus had said.

 

“Gay?”

 

“Yeah, he’s gay. Likes other men, you know. Not a lot of people like him because of it, but mum always invites him because he’s her favourite cousin, and because his sister would probably try to kill anyone who didn’t invite him.”

 

Sirius watched the drunken man trip over his own feet, his descent stopped abruptly by Lyall, who straightened him with a vaguely disgusted look and walked away, getting lost in the crowd.

 

“Uncle Cygnus!” Remus called, and the drunken man turned around, waving at him as he walked over.

 

“Hullo there, Remus. Have you grown since you got here? I swear you have…”

 

Remus chuckled, standing up and offering his seat to Cygnus, “I think you might want to sit down, I’ll see if I can find you some water to drink.”

 

“Don’t do that, boy! Come dance with me – and bring your handsome friend with you!”

 

Remus exchanged a look with Sirius and they both followed Cygnus through the crowd onto the dancefloor. Remus and Cygnus together broke into an almost perfect rendition of the Irish jig, Cygnus singing Christmas carols loudly as he wobbled drunkenly along. Remus soon grabbed Sirius’ elbow and dragged him to his side, and together the three of them danced along to whatever Cygnus decided to sing, Remus occasionally adding his own voice to the drunken out-of-tune cacophony.

 

Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance as Cygnus suddenly fell quiet, and together burst into a rendition of ‘God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs’, earning odd looks from most of the muggles, but the two wizards in the crowd were soon joining them in singing. Sirius was almost surprised to hear that Lyall actually had quite a nice singing voice, and together they went through the whole song, laughing at the confusion they seemed to be causing.

 

“Where did Cygnus go?” Sirius asked when they had finished and bowed to everyone else.

 

“He probably fell asleep somewhere dangerous.”

 

A yell suddenly sounded from behind them, and they turned to see Cygnus running away from the fireplace, the edge of his sleeve on fire.

 

“I told you so,” Remus replied, smiling.

 

“A party’s not a party unless something’s set on fire, huh?”

 

“Usually there’s much bigger collateral damage, but that’s the rule.”

 

“Well, Mr Lupin, you seem to be at a party now. So will you dance with me?”

 

Remus chuckled at Sirius’ dramatics, holding out his arms, “Of course, milady.”

 

Sirius punched his shoulder lightly even as he grabbed Remus’ arm with his other hand and pulled him out onto the dancefloor where they swayed to the music, making a mutual decision not to dance despite his words.

 

“I can’t wait for tomorrow,” Remus said after a few moments.

 

“Tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah, we’re meeting James and Peter, remember?”

 

“Oh, right. Of course I remember,” Sirius replied a moment before sighing, “It’s a shame Lily couldn’t go.”

 

“I don’t really think she wanted to – she doesn’t like James and doesn’t get along with Peter.”

 

Sirius shrugged, “At least we get to see her later.”

 

“Yeah, at least there’s that.”

 

Sirius leaned forward and rested his chin on Remus’ shoulder, one of Remus’ arms instinctively rising to wrap around his shoulders. He wished more people were as comfortable as Remus was to lean on – and as accepting of it. Sirius, at risk of sounding girlish, had long ago admitted to himself he was obviously a touchy-feely person around people he liked, and as Remus was one of the only people who didn’t try to shove him off, he found that Remus was more often than anything the person who Sirius went to if he just wanted to be close to someone.

 

“Merry Christmas, Remy,” Sirius said quietly into Remus’ shoulder, smiling.

 

“Merry Christmas, idiot.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say a massive, massive thank you to everyone who has read, commented or given kudos. I love you all!

“Sirius! Remus! Welcome to the home of the less noble but still ancient house of Potter,” James called as he led them through the front door and into a rather spacious living room.

 

Remus found himself feeling a little put out by the richness that, while modest, was clearly present in the house. He could never hope to compete with money and luxuries – neither of his family were particularly successful, and although they had never needed anything more than what they had, he realised that Sirius was probably finding that his house had too little luxury.

 

“Nice stuff,” Sirius muttered, sounding far off as he looked around him at the expensive vases and even more expensive couches and coffee tables that were fixed to the floor.

 

Remus watched as James leaped onto one of the couches, and it emitted the quiet squeak of leather, making him feel even worse about Sirius having to stay over at his house, with its home-made couch covers and walls that had suffered the coloured end of a number of Remus’ crayons.

 

“You know Remus has coloured every single wall in his house? There’s not one that was spared – they all felt Remus’ wrath at some point,” Sirius said, grinning from ear to ear as he threw himself down next to James.

 

Remus smiled a little hesitantly back at Sirius, perching comfortably on the armrest of the two-person couch. Sirius instantly rearranged himself so he had his head resting in Remus’ lap, stretching his feet out onto James’ lap.

 

“Remy also has all these amazing muggle devices. Did you know they’ve got the best music ever? And they have moving pictures, too! I mean, they do the same thing over and over again and apparently you have to click buttons to make it happen, but they’re still moving pictures!”

 

Remus began relaxing, even laughing, as Sirius launched into an excited ramble about cars and engines and motorbikes. Remus occasionally put in his own two cents, but for the most part he just let Sirius talk while James made sounds of amazement and wonder.

 

“We all need to spend a Christmas at your house sometime. It’s not fair that only Sirius knows about this stuff!”

 

Remus smiled, catching a wink from Sirius as he lifted his head out of Remus’ lap and glared at James.

 

“Back off, Jamieboy, Remus’ house is mine,” Sirius said, still pretending to glare at James.

 

The wrestling match that ensued wasn’t stopped by the entrance of Mrs Potter, who simply shook her head at the two boys before offering Remus something to drink. Nor did it stop when Mrs Potter left the room to let Peter in. No, it was only when they both finally rolled off the couch and knocked over the glass coffee table that it stopped, both of them landing amongst the glass shards.

 

Sirius leaped back to his feet with the agility of a cat, picking out a shard of glass that had embedded itself into the back of his hand, leaving a shallow cut, and throwing it onto the floor. James was worse off, having been below Sirius when they fell, but he had only suffered a few small scratches on his back. Mrs Potter later explained to them that she had placed some sort of protection charm on it for this particular reason, and thanked Remus for intending to help her repair the table until she reminded him that underage magic was forbidden.

 

“Nice place you’ve got here, Mrs Potter,” Sirius commented, sending her a charming grin.

 

“Oh it’s nothing grand. I can’t imagine it would be anything compared to your family’s residence.”

 

At the mention of his family Sirius’ look turned sour and his eyes glinted with malice as he said, “If you like house-elf heads, troll feet and portraits who are constantly complaining about ‘those mudbloods’ and ‘tainted blood’. But sure, the decorations are nice and green.”

 

Remus put a warning hand on Sirius’ shoulder, and Sirius, who had begun shaking as he always seemed to whenever his family was mentioned, calmed down visibly at Remus’ touch.

 

“Sorry, Mrs Potter. Touchy subject.”

 

Sirius turned away from her and, after asking James where the bathroom was, disappeared from sight.

 

“He doesn’t really like his family…” Remus muttered, trying to apologise for his friends’ behaviour, but to his surprise Mrs Potter now had a kindly look in her eye.

 

“I can’t say I blame him. I’ve heard enough about Walburga from Fleamont – he says she’s a nightmare to put up with at work. No, I can’t blame him at all.”

 

Mrs Potter tactfully avoided mentioning Sirius’ family for the rest of the day, and she clearly told her husband not to mention it because Mr Potter said not a word about it.

 

“Hey, Sirius! Stop being a girl and come out of the bathroom, it’s present time!” James called, and Remus was about to step up and defend his friend when Sirius turned around the corner, not looking happy, but at least not as upset as before – and much less angry.

 

“Hold on… Mrs Potter, I got my dad to shrink both mine and Sirius’ presents. Do you mind enlarging them again?”

 

“Not at all,” she replied, and Remus pulled the two small, neatly wrapped cubes out of his pocket and holding it out to her.

 

She tapped it with her wand, muttering the incantation as the two presents grew in size until they were at their full size. Sirius held out his own two cubes – one very tackily wrapped, one neatly wrapped. Remus had to hide his smile at the sight – Sirius had insisted on trying to wrap Peter’s present himself only to realise that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t copy the preciseness of Remus’ folds.

 

Mrs Potter enlarged those too, and together the two boys turned around, holding out their presents to Peter and James. Peter pulled three wrapped packages from the bag he had brought with him and held them out to the people who were clearly meant to receive them, one of the presents almost falling out of his arms as he did so.  James had sprinted out the room and come back with three presents himself in the time it took for Peter to take out the gifts, and they all stood side by side, looking incredibly uncertain as presents were being shoved.

 

“Guys, I think we should just put them down on the floor and try to find our own presents,” Remus said, clearly trying to ensure order, but with a grin both James and Sirius launched their gifts at each other, neatly catching them in their outstretched hands.

 

Remus shared an amused glance with Peter as they both swapped presents, Remus making a bit of a show of handing the present directly into Peter’s grip. James threw his own present at Remus, not expecting him to catch it, but was surprise when Remus simply plucked it out of the air with a grin. He threw his own gift at James, not bothering with niceties now that they were over.

 

The room was silent but for the sound of tearing wrapping paper for a few moments before they all sat down, gifts sprawled around them. Peter was holding up Sirius’ present with a look of faint repulsion.

 

“Why did you get me Witch’s Weekly magazines?”

 

“You were having girl trouble. I took the liberty of helping you solve it.”

 

“Peter, I believe the appropriate response would be to burn it,” Remus counselled, hiding his grin behind the heavy tome James had gotten him for his birthday.

 

Two hours later, having run out of things to do after they had all chased the model of a broomstick around the house, had a war with the wrapping paper – Remus and James against Peter and Sirius – and played with the new exploding snap deck that Peter had given Sirius, much to his delight, they were all curled up together on the couch, feet too close to everyone’s noses for comfort, with James and Sirius reading out articles from the Witch’s Weekly.

 

“Ooh here, look what this one says! ‘Do you like your wizards tall, dark and handsome? Or maybe you go for the shy, studious type. Whoever is your perfect wizard, just follow these seven tips and you’re guaranteed love!’ Bollocks, if you ask me,” James’ foot was moving dangerously close to the sleeping Peter’s nose.

 

“What’s it say will attract ‘the perfect wizard’?”

 

“I’m glad you asked, Remus, although the eye rolling and the yawn aren’t appreciated,” Sirius replied, snagging the magazine from James and beginning to read out loud, “’Always let them take the lead. Wizards love to think they’re in charge, so act as meekly as you can around them.’”

 

“A healthy relationship that would be,” Remus muttered.

 

“’Always look fabulous. Knocking them dead with beauty will always be the most effective tactic’ now this one I can accept, who can’t appreciate some prettiness?”

 

“We have a Sirius to dress prettily for us, we don’t need a girl,” Remus replied calmly, earning a sharp elbow to the ribs from Sirius while James sniggered into his collar.

 

“’Play hard to get. If he asks you to go with him, pretend you aren’t sure if you want to. If he flirts, flirt back, but don’t let it get any more than flirting at first.’”

 

“I thought this was a guide to pick up wizards, not ‘how to get punched in the face’.”

 

Sirius let out a bark of laughter, dislodging Remus’ head from the nook between Sirius’ neck and shoulders. Remus let out a grunt as his head collided instead with Peter, who had somehow fallen in between Sirius’ back and the couch. Peter was startled awake with a shout, and both Remus and Sirius were forced to dive off the couch to avoid getting punched.

 

“Here’s an interesting one. ‘Make sure you’ve practiced kissing before. Wizards love a witch who can kiss well, and don’t let anyone fool you into thinking that first kisses are good kisses.’ Remus, come here, I gotta practice my kissing skills!” Sirius surged forwards, knocking Remus over as he made kissy sounds.

 

Remus shoved him off with a look of disgust, leaping over the couch with agility James didn’t know Remus possessed as he hid behind it trying to escape from Sirius.

 

The room was quiet for a moment until Remus felt something incredibly wet and sloppy on his cheek.

 

“SIRIUS! THAT’S ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! LOOK, I NOW HAVE YOUR SALIVA ALL OVER MY FACE!”

 

Sirius sent him a mischievous grin, saying a quiet ‘oops’ and trying to escape, but Remus grabbed his arm and pinned him to the floor, wiping Sirius’ saliva onto the culprit’s shirt with an extremely disgusted look.

 

Remus eventually released Sirius, who instantly leaped onto the two-person couch again and hid behind half-awake Peter. Remus sighed as he sat back down next to Sirius, lying the back of his head in Sirius’ lap and folding his arms over his chest, letting out a little huff.

 

“I think your melodramaticness is rubbing off on me,” Remus muttered, and Sirius grinned, running a hand through Remus’ fair-hair and finding himself stunned at the silky texture.

 

“I like your hair.”

 

“My hair?”

 

“Watch out, he might just try to chop it off one night and make his own wig out of it,” James’ voice held a sarcastic note to it, and Remus chuckled.

 

“I’d like to see him try.”

 

“No, keep your hair. My dark locks are, of course, much prettier.”

 

“What about my hair?” James asked, sounding like an ignored puppy.

 

“Your hair’s a tangled mess. No one cares about your hair.”

 

“Ouch.”

 

Sirius began running his fingers through Remus’ hair again, deciding he liked the way the other boy seemed to relax as he did so.

 

“You know, I think you may have just found out how to make Remus fall asleep.”

 

“’m no’ ‘sleep.”

 

“Of course not, Remy,” Sirius replied sweetly, but even so he stilled his hand, and the fair-haired boy slowly began regaining alertness as James and Sirius began plotting what they would do when they got back to Hogwarts.

 

“You know, I think we should take a page out of Remus’ book,” Sirius was saying, earning him a confused look from James and a sleepy glare from Remus.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, what if we coloured all the walls? We could enchant them to yell insults at whoever walks past!”

 

“Sirius, do you _want_ to be expelled?” Remus asked, sounding much more alert now.

 

“Of course not. No one’s going to catch me.”

 

Remus shook his head, but said nothing, picking up the book James had given him and beginning to read while the two boys schemed and Peter slept.

 

All of a sudden, his book was being seized and was sent flying across the room, hurtling to a stop just as it was about to hit the wall. Remus turned to look at James, who was looking triumphant at his ability to wrench the book out of his hands.

 

“Yes, James?”

 

“What do you think of slipping something into Snape’s pumpkin juice to make sure he doesn’t say anything for a whole day?”

 

“Can’t you go back to the wall idea? That one was at least harmless.”

 

“No, no we can’t. The wall idea was a great idea, but we’ve accepted it’s not the right prank for us and so should you. So! What do you say?”

 

“Can I make a counter-suggestion?”

 

“What?”

 

“We all go to class, put a temporary sticking charm on everyone when they’re sitting down – including ourselves, or it’ll seem suspicious – and watch everyone stumble around with their chairs attached to their butts.”

 

James’ eyes widened as he heard Remus’ suggestion.

 

“Why, Remus! I never knew you were hiding a mean streak!”

 

“More like a ‘less-people-getting-hurt-but-James-and-Sirius-worthy-mischief’ streak.”

 

“Well, lads, we have our prank for day one of the new semester. We’ll have to save the pumpkin juice for another time, the idea of Snape walking around with a chair attached to his ass is too hilarious to bear.”

 

“You know, it’d be more interesting if you did it in the Great Hall. More people, and they don’t have individual seating there,” Peter said from the other side of the room.

 

Remus sent him a scathing look, but James and Sirius might as well have been jumping up and down with glee.

 

“Peter that’s the best idea you’ve had all year! I’m going to get you a cake all for yourself!”

 

Peter seemed satisfied that he had done enough _and_ achieved the reward he wanted because he settled back down on the couch, and promptly fell asleep.

 

*     *     *

 

“Remus?”

 

Sirius and Remus were back at Remus’ house, having been picked up by Hope and brought home. Lyall was out working, and Hope had said something about needing to pick up some more milk, leaving the two boys behind alone in the house with all the doors securely locked and bolted.

 

“Yes, Sirius?”

 

Remus was sitting cross-legged on his bed, watching Sirius as he threw a ball up into the air and caught it repeatedly.

 

“Have you ever wondered what it’s like to kiss someone?”

 

Remus was going to make a joke about it, but then he noticed that Sirius seemed to actually be thinking about it quite deeply and decided perhaps it wasn’t the best idea.

 

“I guess… I don’t know, I’ve always assumed I’m too young.”

 

Sirius made a quiet sound of understanding, but he sounded far off, throwing his ball up into the air and catching it again.

 

“Do you think kissing a boy is different to kissing a girl?”

 

“Why?”

 

“No reason.”

 

Sirius continued throwing the ball up into the air and catching it, looking unsure of himself.

 

“What do you think, though?”

 

“I wouldn’t think so. I mean, how different can we be?”

 

Sirius again made the far-off sound of understanding, still throwing his ball up into the air and catching it again. All of a sudden, his hand stilled just as he was about to throw it up into the air again, and he stood up, sitting down cross-legged in front of Remus.

 

“Did you want to find out what it feels like?”

 

“What are you going to do, kiss me?” Remus joked, trying to relieve some of the awkwardness that was starting to get to him.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well, uh… Alright then, I guess…”

 

“We’re friends, aren’t we? This isn’t weird, we don’t like each other, we just want to know what kissing feels like. I mean, how else are we meant to know without making idiots out of ourselves?”

 

“I think you already do that enough without even trying to kiss a girl,” Remus joked again, trying to relieve the tension of the situation.

 

Sirius lightly punched Remus’ shoulder, but said nothing.

 

“So…?”

 

“I mean, it doesn’t mean anything, right? I don’t see why anything should go wrong. It’s for science.”

 

Sirius had no clue what Remus had meant with his last sentence, but as he exchanged a nervous smile with Remus he decided he might as well go through with it.

 

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against Remus, trying not to think too much. He felt Remus let out a quiet, surprised intake of breath against his lips, and had to hold back the urge to laugh at the awkwardness of the situation. Eventually, Remus’ lips moved so they were pressing back, and one of Remus’ arms were starting to curve around Sirius’ waist.

 

Sirius drew the other boy closer, feeling his mouth start responding to the movement of Remus’ lips, feeling like it was completely out of his control what his mouth was doing. It was awkward, but neither of them could deny that it didn’t feel nice, especially when Sirius, on impulse, lightly licked Remus’ bottom lip. The awkward kiss was broken first by Remus, looking slightly out of breath and not meeting Sirius’ eyes, despite not moving his arm from around Sirius’ waist.

 

“I think that was the weirdest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” Sirius muttered, not letting go of Remus either.

 

“Agreed.”

 

“We’re never speaking of this to anyone, yeah?”

 

“Obviously.”

 

Sirius felt a sudden relief despite not realising that he was actually a little afraid of being found out.

 

“What did you want to do now?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Did you want to try again?”

 

“I thought it was the weirdest thing you’ve ever done.”

 

“I didn’t say that I minded it, though. So did you want to try again?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Sirius was less hesitant to press his lips back against Remus’, and now he was much surer of himself as was Remus. The kiss was less awkward that time, and when they separated again they were smiling, and Remus didn’t look away.

 

“Still the weirdest thing you’ve ever done?”

 

“Definitely.”

 

“So, we’re never telling anyone about this, huh?”

 

“Oh merlin no.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long, sorry, but between writer's block and being neck-deep in school work, there isn't much I can do. I hope this does all the waiting justice!

“Lily, do you ever think about what would happen if Smaug and Bilbo became friends?” Sirius asked her.

 

They were lying side by side, all squished together on Remus’ bed. Lily had arrived half an hour ago to Remus’ house, but she hadn’t looked all too happy at all despite the kind smile on her face. Sirius and Remus, without hesitating, had led her to the room Sirius and Remus were sharing and all three were now piled onto the bed. They had, by some form of silent agreement, decided not to discuss whatever it was that had made Lily upset, deciding instead to talk about music and movies and books that Sirius now knew about.

 

“Not really,” Lily replied.

 

She sighed audibly then as she sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. Sirius and Remus both sat up as well, shifting so that they were on either side of her.

 

“Petunia thinks I’m a freak.”

 

“That’s your sister, right? Why’d she think you’re a freak? You’re awesome!” Sirius said, and she smiled a little, but the smile soon dropped off her face.

 

“She thinks I’m a freak because I’m a witch. She was saying some nasty things about me this morning. She also said some things about you two. And Sev.”

 

“Well, she’s wrong.”

 

“But she’s family, you’re supposed to love your family.”

 

“Family doesn’t mean shit,” Sirius replied a little aggressively, but his eyes softened and he pulled her into a hug, “We’ll be your brothers, ok? Forget Petunia, she doesn’t deserve a sister like you.”

 

Remus leaned over and rested his hand on Lily’s shoulder, adding, “And in any case, being a freak’s better than just being a bully.”

 

Lily reached over and pulled Remus into the hug as well, and all three of them sat there in a group hug, Sirius already devising plans to hurt Petunia, Remus devising plans to keep Lily away from Petunia, and Lily just enjoying being in the company of two of her friends.

 

“Thank you. For everything.”

 

Sirius just shrugged as he released her, sending her his very well-practiced nonchalant smile, “Anytime, Lils.”

 

Remus just smiled at her, “You know you can send us an owl if you need us.”

 

Sirius stood up, stretching luxuriously in a way that reminded Remus of a cat. Remus found himself remembering what Sirius and Remus were now calling ‘The Incident’, and he quickly blocked the memory, hoping Lily wouldn’t notice how his cheeks got a little warmer with the memory.

 

They had been avoiding mentioning the incident like the plague, but Remus found he couldn’t stop remembering it in the least opportune moments, and no matter how many times he shoved it to the back of his mind, it was always still there, lurking in the shadows. He often wondered if Sirius was experiencing the same thing.

 

“James deserved those snowballs,” Lily’s voice broke into Remus’ thoughts, and he turned to watch the picture as picture James was pelted by three snowballs from picture Remus, picture Lily and picture Sirius.

 

“You know, I don’t get why you don’t like him. He’s not actually that bad.”

 

“Sirius, he made a plant in the greenhouse almost kill one of my friends.”

 

Sirius only shrugged in reply, which Remus didn’t think was the best response. He decided to change the subject before someone got hurt.

 

“Oh, I had almost forgotten. Merry Christmas, Lily, “ Remus said, pulling a small gift from under his bed and holding it out to her.

 

“Oh, I forgot about presents! Here, Merry Christmas, Lily!” Sirius said, grabbing his own present from Remus’ wardrobe and holding it out to her.

 

Lily chuckled as she grabbed them both before pulling two neatly-wrapped gifts out of her bag and holding them out to Remus and Sirius, “Merry Christmas, idiots.”

 

They quietly unwrapped the gifts, smiling and thanking each other for the gifts before putting them aside. They headed downstairs, then, being greeted by Hope in an apron who told them she had some biscuits in the oven, before squishing up on a two-seater couch, Sirius lying with his head in Remus’ lap and his legs across Lily’s, watching a few Disney movies as Lily and Remus sang along, laughing and smiling lazily.

 

It was different from being with James and Peter. James was a bubble of energy, going through life as if it were a game without stopping to look back. He bounced from one fun thing to the other, not caring about anything in between. Peter did the same as whoever it was he looked up to, which in this case was James. He was a little more cautious, but he was a loyal friend, and he would follow James – and Sirius and Remus – through hell, just like they would for everyone else. But Remus, he liked his moments of quiet, of peace, of simple niceties. He liked the lazy days and the long nights, doing nothing more than living in the moment. And Lily was a swirling vortex of passionate emotions, but she could also find the pleasure in doing nothing more than lying on a couch with friends, in just chatting about nothing in particular, in taking life one step at a time. Sirius wasn’t sure which he preferred, but the lazy, calm atmosphere in the Lupin’s house during that one day had brought him a temporary inner peace he didn’t know he needed until that moment.

 

*     *     *

“See you, Mr. Lupin. Hope. Thank you for having me!”

 

“It was our pleasure. If we find anything of yours we’ll send it to you by owl, alright?”

 

Sirius nodded, unable to hide his smile as Hope leaned over, hugging him and kissing his cheek in her motherly way, and he could help the shaking that began as soon as she pulled away. Remus took his hand gently and began guiding him onto the train, waving at his parents every so often as he approached it.

 

They boarded the train together, still walking hand in hand. Remus could feel the slight tremble in Sirius’ hand as he walked to a compartment with two of their friends already in it. He let go of his hand as they stepped into the compartment, but as soon as they had sat down together Remus had leaned against Sirius’ side, feeling the pull of sleep as he inhaled Sirius’ scent.

 

“I don’t want to go back to school,” Peter muttered, but James reached out and clapped him on the side of the head.

 

“What do you mean you don’t want to go back to school?! There’s nothing to do at home! At school we can hex the life out of gits! There’s nothing more exciting than that!”

 

Sirius grinned at how alike he and James thought, though he preferred to hex the life out of certain gits – that is, his family – than anyone else. Remus, for his part, just slept on Sirius’ shoulder, his light, even breaths on Sirius’ neck calming the last of his tremors.

 

The rest of the train ride was full of laughter, exploding snap, and escaping chocolate frogs. Remus was still fast asleep, and Peter was close to it, but James and Sirius didn’t seem to care, messing around and laughing as if there was nothing that could stop them from having their fun, even if Sirius moved a little less than he normally would to let Remus sleep.

 

Sirius gently shook Remus awake as the train started to stop, and was instantly assaulted in a death grip from the boy as he was startled awake with a scream.

 

“Bad dream?”

 

“Something like that…” Remus muttered, taking a few calming breaths with his face pressed against Sirius’ chest before releasing him, standing up and stretching languidly.

 

“Did you want to talk about it?”

 

“No, it’s nothing. Just a bad dream.”

 

Sirius almost groaned at how secretive Remus was being. He thought he had managed to put most of that behind him over the holidays, but clearly there was something Remus was still hiding from them.

 

“Remus, you know you can tell me anything, right?” Sirius asked lowly after a moment of hesitation, hoping none of the other boys could hear.

 

He heard a shaky intake of breath, and terrified, amber eyes met his own gray ones, “You don’t understand. You’ll never understand.”

 

Remus turned away from him, leaving the compartment with purposeful, even strides as Sirius’ gaze followed him. What could he be hiding? What could drive him to those lengths? Sirius knew that Remus was a rather private person, but nothing in his past could warrant this kind of behaviour… Could it?

 

“What did you say?!”

 

“I don’t know, James,” Sirius muttered, still staring at the spot where he had last seen Remus.

 

They left the train together, making the trip back to Hogwarts, but Remus was nowhere to be found, and as they made their way to dinner, he wasn’t there. They searched high and low, all around the castle – and the few secret passages they knew about – but Remus had managed to all but disappear. Even Peter was starting to get worried about where their bookish friend had gone. Eventually, they enlisted the help of Nearly Headless Nick, their House ghost, who also asked the Fat Friar and the Grey Lady to look out for him on their behalf. A few minutes later they received a message from the Grey Lady saying that he didn’t want to be found at the moment.

 

They went to bed, hoping Remus would come back, and made the decision to stay awake until he did, but after half an hour Peter and James were both out like lights. Sirius was also starting to doze off when the door clicked open to allow the skinny, lanky boy into the room.

 

“Remus?”

 

“Go to sleep, Sirius.”

 

“Where were you? We were worried about you.”

 

“I was fine, I just needed to be alone.”

 

“Remus-“

 

“Sirius.”

 

“Rem, did I do anything wrong?”

 

“Please, Sirius, go to sleep.”

 

Sirius made a grab for Remus’ wrist, holding on tightly. Remus stood like a deer in the headlights – frozen, trapped.

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Sirius. I’m just messed up.”

 

“I’m also messed up. You can trust me, Remus, believe me.”

 

“I believe you. But it’s not enough.”

 

Remus turned away, pulling his arm away from Sirius’ grip.

 

“What will be enough?”

 

“Sirius… Nothing will ever be enough. Please just leave me alone, you’re safer without me around.”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“No.”

 

“Sirius…”

 

“I said no.”

 

Sirius reached out, pulling his friend into a fierce hug.

 

“I’m not going to give up just because you told me too.”

 

Remus said nothing, only hugged Sirius back. Sirius was a little surprised to feel his shirt becoming soaked as the boy cried quietly, and he lifted one of his hands to run his fingers through Remus’ hair, trying to calm him down.

 

Remus eventually let go of Sirius, lying down in his bed, and Sirius slipped under the covers next to him.

 

“What would you do if I figure it out?”

 

“Please don’t.”

 

“But what would you do?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Remus…”

 

“You’d hate me. Everyone who finds out hates me.”

 

“I could never hate you.”

 

“You have no idea,” Remus whispered, so softly Sirius almost didn’t hear, and turned away from him, looking pointedly in the other direction.

 

An arm circled around his waist, pulling him close.

 

“I’m not going to give up. If you won’t tell me, I’ll figure it out, and then I can help you.”

 

“You can’t help me. You think this is a game, but it’s not. You don’t understand, no one can help me. People have tried. Lots of people.”

 

“I’ll find a way. Good night, Remus.”

 

“Night.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Men, we have a mission!” Sirius called out as he, Peter and James lounged around the Gryffindor Common Room, Remus and Lily having gone to study to the library only moments ago.

 

James looked up at him, raising an eyebrow in a rather awkward manner, which almost threw Sirius off his initial mission. Almost.

 

“Our dear friend, Remus John Lupin – yes his middle name is John, no do not ask me about how I found out by tickling him for half an hour – is hiding something.”

 

“Is he?” James asked, ever the insightful , observant friend.

 

“Of course he is. Haven’t you ever talked to him?” Peter asked, sounding a little incredulous.

 

“I… Never noticed.”

 

“Anyway, Remus is hiding something – and we have to figure out what it is.”

 

“Sirius, don’t you think maybe we should just wait for him to tell us?”

 

Sirius shook his head at Peter’s suggestion with a quiet sigh, “He won’t tell us. I tried asking, he just said ‘you won’t understand’. So we’re going to figure out what it is he’s hiding.”

 

“I’m not going to investigate a friend,” Peter muttered, but James seemed all for the idea.

 

“We need to find out where he goes. He leaves at least once a month, he has to be doing something,” James replied, removing his glasses and cleaning them on his shirt before putting them back on.

 

“Brilliant, Jamesie boy! So we’re agreed, yes? We’re going to find out what Remus is hiding?”

 

“I guess,” Peter muttered, glancing over to where James was nodding enthusiastically.

 

“We’ll have to keep watch. Remus usually starts looking antsy when he’s about to- oh hello there, Remus, how nice of you to join us. Got sick of studying with Lily?” Sirius cut himself off with a bright smile and a wave as Remus half-fell out of the portrait hole.

 

“Couldn’t concentrate. I think I might just go lie down,” Remus muttered, shifting uneasily under Sirius’ gaze before climbing up the stairs to the dorms and disappearing.

 

“Men, mission has begun!”

 

*     *     *

 

Sirius woke up encased by a pair of arms he didn’t remember being there when he fell asleep. The warm feeling of a chest pressed against his back was another startling realisation for him.

 

“Remus? Is that you?” Sirius whispered, not wanting to move.

 

“Remus is unavailable. Please try again later,” Remus’ voice, thick with sleep, replied, the arms tightening around Sirius’ waist.

 

“Where did you go last night?” Sirius asked as innocently as he could, making Remus let out a muffled, amused sound into Sirius’ pillow before he replied.

 

“I just… My uncle got dragonpox, I had to make sure he was ok.”

 

Sirius knew, for a fact, he had not left Hogwarts grounds. He, James and Peter had followed their bookish friend halfway across the school grounds before losing sight of him and Madam Pomfrey – in the completely wrong direction to go to London.

 

“You’re lying.”

 

“You’re nosy.”

 

Sirius found the comment hurt him more than it probably should have. He had been aware from the beginning that Remus was a private person, he should have expected that Remus wouldn’t like him trying to figure out his own private business – especially when asking him directly kept ending in disaster. Yet there was a part of him that couldn’t help but worry about wherever it was Remus went. He always came back bruised and beaten, with scratches that he covered up carefully with long sleeves and pants – there was something very wrong, and Sirius was very worried about his friend.

 

“Sorry, I’ve just had a long night. If you don’t mind, I think I’m just going to sleep.”

 

The arms around Sirius’ waist disappeared, and he felt the boy behind him move away. Sirius instinctively rolled over to look at Remus and stopped short, his eyes widening as he looked at his face.

 

Over the night, Remus had somehow obtained a long, deep cut that stretched across the left side of his face. One of his eyes were swollen shut, dark rings under both his eyes, and his nose looked a little crooked as well – he had probably broken it, along with a few other bones if his face was anything to go by – and Remus was clutching at his left shoulder. Sirius reached out and hugged Remus, even as he tried to hide his face under Sirius’ blanket.

 

“Why aren’t you in the Hospital Wing?”

 

“I snuck out. This isn’t all that bad, I’ve had worse.”

 

“Remus-“

 

“Sirius.”

 

“Rem, stay here. I’ll go get us something to eat from the kitchens, and we’ll spend the day in bed, yeah? We can talk, or read, or levitate pillows, or something.”

 

“Don’t you have classes?”

 

“I know all that stuff anyway. They’re not important.”

Sirius was halfway out the room when he heard Remus’ quiet thank you, followed by some muttering Sirius couldn’t make out.

 

Sirius was almost at the kitchens when he was cornered by Lily’s friend – the one James had taken to calling Snivellus.

 

“Sirius Black, is it?” Snape asked, a twisted smile on his face that looked more like a grimace.

 

“Of course he’s my dearest cousin,” a sneering, high-pitched voice called from the shadows, and out stepped his cousin Bellatrix, a Slytherin seventh year.

 

“You know, mother says Walburga is in a right state over your choices. You’ve left the whole family in a very difficult position.”

 

Sirius didn’t say a word, only glared with a practiced, haughty, indifferent look.

 

“Watch yourself, cousin. If you keep this up you’ll get blasted off the tapestry.”

Bellatrix smiled cruelly at him before sauntering away.

 

Sirius continued to walk to the kitchens, brushing past Snape on his way. Snape clearly did not like being ignored, because a moment later Sirius was falling, trapped by his Petrificus Totalus. He heard Snape chuckle to himself as he followed Bellatrix, but when Sirius tried to break through the spell and push himself up off the floor, he found his arms were trapped in the position in which they had been frozen, bunched up against his side, his hand curled into a fist.

 

“ _Finite!_ ” he heard a few moments later, and a pair of hands were pulling him up to his feet.

 

He turned to come face to face with another of his cousins, Andromeda. He vaguely remembered liking her the last time he had seen her.

 

“Sorry, this is all I can do. Watch yourself, Sirius, Bella has been talking about doing much worse if you continue to ruin the family name, and she’s managed to get a lot of people in Slytherin to… dislike you. I can’t always follow her to make sure she’s not hurting anyone.”

 

“You wouldn’t have any idea why she’s a crazy hag, would you?”

 

Andromeda didn’t react, only shoved him in the direction he had been going with a hurried explanation that they couldn’t be seen together. Andromeda turned and left as abruptly as she had arrived, without giving Sirius a chance to respond.

 

He abandoned the thought of the kitchens completely, storming all the way back to the dorm room and slamming the door behind him, startling Remus awake, who had fallen back asleep while Sirius was out.

 

“Sirius? You alright?”

 

“No.”

 

Remus slowly sat up, every one of the clicks of his joints reaching Sirius’ ears. Sirius, for his part, ignored everything, letting himself slide down to the floor with his back pressed against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest.

 

“Did you want to talk about it?”

 

“No.”

 

Remus swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, swearing quietly under his breath with pain. He walked over to Sirius’ side, trying to hide how painful every step he took was.

 

“Did you want me to leave you alone?”

 

Sirius let out a shaky breath. “No.”

 

Remus, looked at his friend, biting his bottom lip. Sirius had covered his face with his hands now. He wouldn’t be moving for a while. Remus started to walk away to get a book, but a hand on his leg stopped him.

 

“Stay?”

 

“I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Remus gently removed the hand on his leg and retrieved the book from his bedside table before returning to Sirius’ side, sitting cross-legged next to the upset boy. The eldest black leant against his shoulder, closing his eyes as Remus opened his book.

 

“What are you reading?”

 

“A Wizard of Earthsea. It’s a muggle book.”

 

“Read to me?”

 

Remus began to flip back to the beginning, but a hand on his stopped him.

 

“Just read, I don’t care if it’s not from the beginning.”

 

Remus cleared his throat, looking from the upset boy sleeping on his shoulder to the book open in his lap. He cleared his throat again, and wet his lips, before beginning to read softly the tale of another world, of another time. Sirius let Remus’ soft, calming voice wash over him, calming him, putting all thoughts of his family aside as he turned his focus to the present, and to the first person to ever tell him he’d fight his family for him.

 

*     *     *

 

After classes James and Peter had managed to coerce both of them to leave the castle. Remus was still healing, and Sirius was still upset, but they had followed the two boys out of the castle anyway. The weather was finally beginning to improve, the snow had begun to thaw and although the grounds were covered in slush, there was a definite cheerfulness to the early spring atmosphere around them. Remus’ injuries didn’t seem to hurt so much in the delicate warmth of the sun, and Sirius’ mood improved with the crisp, fresh air which held the promise of an early end to the winter.

 

“What did the hippogriff say to the dragon?” James asked as they ambled lazily around the lake, the giant squid a dark, murky shape in the water.

 

“What did it say?” Peter asked.

 

“Where are your feathers!” James laughed loudly, clapping Peter on the back, who just sent him a confused look.

 

“I don’t get it.”

 

“No one does, Peter,” Remus cut in with a chuckle.

 

One of the squid’s tentacles suddenly rose out of the water, and Sirius ducked behind Remus with a squeak, followed by Peter and James, who had tried to hide behind each other before ducking behind the now laughing Remus.

 

“Seriously?”

 

“I am always serious,” Sirius replied, stepping away from Remus and walking with a certain amount of practiced arrogance.

 

“You’re never serious, you should have been called ‘kidding’, or better yet, ‘drama queen’.”

 

“You injure me, Remus,” Sirius called, clutching at his chest.

 

“The squid has demanded a sacrifice. I vote Peter,” James interrupted, glancing over to where the squid’s tentacle had been just moments before.

 

“Seconded,” Sirius said immediately.

 

“You can’t throw me into the lake!”

 

“Remus?”

 

“Don’t look at me, I’m a neutral party here.”

 

“Peter! Looks like your lucky day! You’re getting thrown into the lake!” James crowed, and together James and Sirius grabbed hold of either one of Peter’s arms.

 

“REMUS HELP ME!”

 

“Be brave, soldier, your time has come,” Remus replied, saluting him.

 

“PLEASE DON’T THROW ME INTO THE LAKE!”

“POTTER! BLACK! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO PETTIGREW?” Professor McGonagall was storming towards them, greying hair escaping the bun in which it had been placed.

 

Remus quickly stepped forwards to stand just in front of his friends, deciding that damage control was probably needed.

 

“Professor, we were just trying to convince Peter to get into the lake. We definitely weren’t going to throw anyone into the lake, or force anyone to do anything against their will,” Remus sent a warning look to James and Sirius.

 

“Everything’s fine, McGonnie,” James said, sending her a cocky grin.

 

“I hope you are telling the truth, Lupin,” the professor replied, glaring strictly at James before moving away.

 

“You know, we could do a lot with this newfound ability of yours, Rem,” James said thoughtfully.

 

“Oi, that’s my nickname,” Sirius interjected before Remus could reply.

 

“What ability?”

 

“To talk your way out of trouble. You could be like our… Coveruperer!”

 

“That’s not even a word.”

 

“It is now!” James declared.

 

Sirius and James exchanged a look before turning to look over to Peter, who had been silent since McGonagall arrived.

 

“Get him.”

 

*     *     *

“Men, report!”

 

“Sirius, it’s too late for this.”

 

“I said report!”

 

James sighed, running a hand through his messy black hair – or artfully tussled, as he preferred.

 

“Remus disappears once every month. Yesterday was one of those days. I don’t think it’s the same day of the week or the same date, because today is Sunday and on the first day he disappeared it was a Wednesday. We have no idea where he goes, or what he does, he just comes back injured,” James recited.

 

“Good. Peter?”

 

“I don’t know. He always seems grumpy before he disappears. I try not to talk to him, he’s a little scary when he’s grumpy.”

 

“Good. So we have – one, 11 year old boy, gets grumpy once a month, disappears for a night, and comes back injured. Wait, girls have that thing once a month, don’t they? Maybe he’s secretly a girl!”

 

“Come off it, Sirius. Remus? A girl? Really?” James scoffed.

 

“Wait, what do girls have once a month?” Peter asked, confused.

 

“You really need to read that Witch’s Weekly magazine I gave you,” Sirius replied.

 

“Incredibly insightful, that magazine,” James added.

 

“That is, if you’re a witch looking for a wizard,” Sirius supplied, and the two boys exchanged a glance before dissolving into fits of laughter.

 

“I thought we were here to discuss Remus!” Peter complained, and Sirius instantly stopped laughing, punching James’ shoulder when James didn’t stop quickly enough.

 

“Indeed we were. Well, I have more information on him than all of you. Have you noticed he always grabs his left shoulder when he’s talking about anything to do with what happened? Also, he has nightmares almost every night, he never gets changed with anyone in the room, and he’s got some massive scars which magical healing obviously can’t fix, or they wouldn’t be there.”

 

“So… Traumatic accident?” Peter speculated.

 

“Obviously. But what could be so bad they left scars which couldn’t be healed?” Sirius sounded a touch defeated.

 

“Well, men, I think we have to hit the books to find out more. Sirius, do you think Pomfrey’d talk to you about scars that don’t heal?”

 

“Of course, no one can resist my charm,” Sirius flashed James a grin.

 

“Good. Anyway, in the meantime Peter and I will look things up in the library. How do you intend to talk to Madam Pomfrey?”

 

Sirius frowned, but then his face brightened considerably as an incredibly mischievous look crossed his face.

 

“How do you feel about getting into a fight with my cousin, and then being heroically saved by yours truly as he throws said cousin and himself off the stairway?”

 

“Brilliant.”


	11. Chapter 11

“How dare you, blood traitor!”

 

James grinned at Bellatrix, her face becoming even more livid. The plan was working perfectly – he and Sirius had walked past Bellatrix on one of the staircases, with James talking a little too loudly about how Sirius’ mother was a ‘right old hag’. Not to either boy’s surprise, Bellatrix had taken the bait much too easily.

 

“Is this your cousin, Sirius? She’s charming, isn’t she?”

 

“Sirius, how dare you associate yourself with such filth!”

 

“Not seeing any filth but you, Trixie,” Sirius replied, a small grin crossing his face.

 

“Guys what’s going on?” Remus asked, noticing the commotion and pushing through the crowd to James and Sirius’ side, Peter following close behind them.

 

“Remus, Peter, meet my dear cousin, Trixie,” Sirius replied, and was a little surprised when Remus took a step towards him, his gaze suddenly guarded and his whole body tense.

 

“Filth! The lot of you! Associating wih Pettigrews and Potters and-  and Lupin, of all people! I heard his mother is a muggle, of all things! You know they’re only friends with you because of your name, that’s what they all do!”

 

Remus’ face stayed dangerously neutral, and Sirius was almost scared of him at that particular moment, the calm, calculated way he watched Bellatrix.

 

“Bellatrix - that’s your name, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice dangerously calm, “Never insult my friends, or my family, and never, _never_ make assumptions about them, or me. Come on, let’s go, she’s not worth our time.”

 

Bellatrix looked livid, and Sirius couldn’t resist blowing her a kiss as Remus gripped James and Sirius’ elbows in a surprisingly strong grip and dragged them away, Peter following quickly behind.

 

They heard her mutter a hex, hitting Peter’s back and causing him to fall on top of them all. Sirius instantly ripped his arm out of Remus’ grip, rage clouding his vision as he flung himself at his cousin, managing to land a punch squarely to her jaw before she managed to shove him off, sending him toppling off the stairway. He landed with a thud, the crack of bones breaking echoing through the room. James and Remus, without hesitation, both took out their wands, pointing them squarely at Bellatrix’s chest.

 

“Do you know any hexes?” Remus muttered to James, who nodded, his eyes burning with anger.

 

“Make sure she doesn’t do anything else to Sirius and Peter, and watch yourself. I’m going to go find Pomfrey.”

 

Remus stowed his wand, sprinting down the stairs to Sirius’ side, “Sirius, Sirius are you ok?”

 

Sirius groaned, “I think I’ve broken a rib.”

 

“I’ll get Pomfrey, don’t move.”

 

Remus sprinted to the hospital wing. James kept his wand carefully trained on Bellatrix, but she was already leaving, headed to the Slytherin common room. James stowed his wand as soon as she was gone, and leaned down to make sure Peter was alright before picking him up with a grunt and carrying him down the stairway to Sirius’ side.

 

“That did not work like we hoped it would.”

 

Sirius tried to laugh, but the movement hurt, and he ended up just grimacing instead, “well, at least I’ll still be going to the Hospital Wing – and Trixie’s going to have an ugly bruise.”

 

“You know she’s wrong, right? We’re not just friends with you because of your name.”

 

“I know. Thanks, James.”

 

“Anytime. Hey, Remus was kinda scary for a moment there, wasn’t he? If he wasn’t Remus I would have thought he were planning ways to kill her.”

 

“He’s hiding something, we don’t really know what Remus is.”

 

“Remus would never, Sirius. Have you _seen_ him? He’s not that kind of person.”

 

“True.”

 

Remus chose that moment to re-enter the room, followed by a hassled-looking Madam Pomfrey. James squeezed Sirius’ shoulder lightly before moving away from him, joining Remus as they stood to the side and let Pomfrey help their friends.

 

“Bellatrix is a right bitch,” James muttered to Remus, who nodded without hesitating.

 

“I’d like to hit her myself,” Remus replied, watching as Pomfrey levitated Sirius and Peter, beginning to make her way back to the Hospital Wing with their friends in tow.

 

“Same.”

 

“Can we go with our friends?” Remus asked Pomfrey, a few long strides allowing him to catch up to her.

 

“Go to class, you two, your friends are fine. You can see them after classes.”

 

Both James and Remus looked like they wanted to argue, but Sirius turned to smile weakly at them, “I’m fine, and I’m pretty sure Peter’s just fallen asleep.”

 

“We’ll see you later, okay?” Remus asked, receiving a thumbs up from Sirius in response.

 

“Come on, no matter what our excuse is Sprout won’t be happy if we’re late.”

*     *     *

 

“Miss, I was wondering if there is anything you couldn’t heal.”

 

Pomfrey turned to look at Sirius from where she had been standing, fussing over some bottles in a cupboard.

 

“There are many things I can’t heal.”

 

“What about cuts that you can heal but leave scars?”

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

“Nothing, just curious,” Sirius replied as innocently as he could.

 

“There are cursed blades that can leave wounds like that, and a few dark creatures who can also do so.”

 

Sirius nodded sagely and lay back down, pretending to have gone to sleep, but his mind was whirling with possibilities. It wasn’t likely that Remus would have been cut with a cursed blade – not with his all-muggle house or with Hope and Lyall around. The thought was ridiculous. Dark creature attack, then. It had to be. But what kind of dark creature could have attacked Remus and left all those scars? And what kind of dark creature attack would Remus be so afraid of telling Sirius? Nothing made sense. He made a mental note to tell James to add books on dark creatures to the growing list of topics.

 

*     *     *

 

“How’re you feeling?” Remus asked as he sat down on Sirius’ right, Peter, who had been released an hour after he arrived at the Hospital wing, deciding to sit down on the chair to his other side, leaving James to plant himself squarely on Peter’s left leg.

 

“Oh, you know, I’m fine. Hey, Rem, could you bring me one of the magazines your dad gave me? I was so bored I thought I might eat my own hand.”

 

Remus nodded, standing up and leaving the Hospital Wing quickly in pursuit of the magazines.

 

“Dark creatures are involved,” Sirius muttered to James and Peter after making sure Pomfrey couldn’t hear.

 

“Is that what Pomfrey said?”

 

“Well, she also said cursed blades, but I’ve met his family, they wouldn’t own a cursed blade and I don’t see how anyone would have been able to get at him with a cursed blade unless they were his family.”

 

“So dark creature. Do you know when you leave this place? We need to hit the books.”

 

“If Pomfrey doesn’t let me go by the time its dinner I’ll sneak out.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Do you think we should track on what days Remus disappears?” Peter spoke up for the first time.

 

“Good idea, Peter!”

 

“Hey, do you th-“

 

Remus stepped back into the room, forcing James to cut himself off as he handed over the motor magazine.

 

“Lupin, make sure your disappearing act earlier this month is not repeated, I will not have you walking around when you’re injured again,” Pomfrey, who had reappeared from her office, spoke with a gentle authority.

 

“And yet I’m fine, am I not?” Remus retorted, much to his friends surprise.

 

“Watch yourself,” was Pomfrey’s only reply before she went back to her cupboard, sorting the vials.

 

Remus quietly offered to help her, once again to all his friends’ surprise, but was waved away for his trouble.

 

“You and Pomfrey know each other, huh?” James asked nonchalantly.

 

“It’s complicated,” Remus replied, turning back to his injured friend.

 

“Do you know when you’ll be out?”

 

“Why, d’you miss me?” Sirius teased, sticking his tongue out at the fair-haired boy.

 

“You wish I did,” Remus replied, chuckling quietly.

 

Sirius exchanged a meaningful look with James, who lightly nudged Peter in the side.

 

“Hey, Remus, could you help me with that Defence essay we’re meant to be doing?” Peter asked, making Remus sigh.

 

“You know, you really should do your own work,” he muttered, but allowed himself to be led out of the Hospital Wing by Peter in any case after making sure Sirius was alright, Peter sending the two a conspiratorial wink as he left.

 

“When do you get out?”

 

“Miss, when can I leave?” Sirius called to Pomfrey, who walked over to his side and gave him a once over, shoving James to the side as she did so.

 

“If you wanted to, you should be able to leave now.” Sirius let out a whoop, climbing out of the bed and instantly darted over to knock James off his feet.

 

Their short wrestling match was interrupted by a warning from a rather annoyed-sounding Pomfrey about not injuring themselves again, making James and Sirius shrug in unison.

 

“We have better things to do, anyway,” James replied before sprinting out the Hospital Wing, Sirius following a step behind him.

 

They almost crashed into Lily as they turned to corner into the library. She instantly glared at James, but sent a friendly smile to Sirius as she walked past, a small stack of books tucked carefully under one arm.

 

“Need some help carrying those?” Sirius asked, ignoring the annoyed look James shot him.

 

“Nah, I’m alright. Thanks, Sirius.”

 

Lily made her way down the corridor leading to the Gryffindor common room, joined by an all too familiar greasy head of hair.

 

“It’s Snivellus,” James muttered, looking disgusted, “I’ll never know what she sees in him.”

 

“Neither, mate,” Sirius replied, turning back to enter the library and making his way into the Defence Against The Dark Arts section, James following closely behind.

 

“Shall we begin?” Sirius asked, placing the tips of his fingers on the spine of a book stating in bold silver letters _Magical Creatures_.

 

James pulled out a book with the words _Guide to the Dark Creatures of Europe_ emblazoned on the cover, “Let’s do this.”

 

Sirius sent a grin to James as he pulled the tome off the shelf, grunting at how heavy it was. Without a word, they both walked to the back of the library where no one would see them unless they decided to visit the dustiest shelves. Sirius quietly muttered a spell to get the dust off the floor before laying down on his stomach, putting the book down in front of him. James cast the same spell on a chair and table, sitting himself down comfortably and opening the book in front of him with a careful gentleness.

 

“James, are you sure you want to help me figure out what happened to Remus? We don’t know what it could be, it might be dangerous.”

 

“He’s my friend too, Sirius. I don’t care if it’s dangerous, something’s wrong and we can’t do anything about it unless we know what it is.”

 

Sirius and James exchanged a glance before they turned back to their books and started reading, with only the quiet murmurs from the students at the front of the library breaking the heavy silence that descended on them.

 

They spent the rest of their day there, with the exception of dinner. Sirius had managed to get through a quarter of his book, James a little less than that, but none had found anything that could even come close to whatever it was that attacked Remus.

 

“Everything has sharp teeth, but nothing has the kind of claws you’d need to leave those scars,” James had grumbled at one point, slamming the book shut, but as the creatures in the book got progressively more dangerous, they became more and more curious as to what had happened to their bookish friend, and more and more worried about him, and it was only when Madam Pince, the librarian everyone had learned to hate the first time they stepped foot in the library, shooed them emphatically out of the library that they spoke.

 

“There’s nothing. There’s absolutely no clue. A hundred pages, and not one clue about what creature could possibly have attacked Remus.”

 

“Do you think maybe we could sneak into the library and nick some books? I mean, we need more time to figure all of this out, and I think Remus might get a little suspicious if we stay in the library for too long.”

 

James grinned at Sirius, suddenly, his eyes twinkling with excitement, “I have just the thing.”

 

Taking Sirius’ arm he sprinted forwards, dragging Sirius behind him all the way to the dorm. He let go of Sirius’ elbow just long enough to dig through his trunk while Remus and Peter, who had been lounging in their room, looked on curiously.

 

James let out a quiet sound of success as he pulled a rather large piece of cloth and bundled it under his elbow.

 

“We’ll be back!” he told Remus and Peter before speeding down the staircase into the Gryffindor Common Room, where James stopped short, making Sirius slam straight into his back.

 

“Here get under this,” James muttered, making sure no one else was watching before throwing the silvery fabric over the top of Sirius’ head.

 

“James, what’s-“

 

“Shut up before someone notices. It’s an invisibility cloak. Look, we’ll talk later when we aren’t invisible, we have a book to go get.”

 

Sirius followed James to the portrait hole, keeping as close to the other boy as possible to let the cloak cover their feet as well as the top of their heads. The cloth trailed a little behind them as they walked, too big for the two small boys, but that didn’t stop them from creeping into the library right under Pince’s nose. Sirius quickly grabbed both books they had been reading that evening off the shelves, grabbing another four quickly from different shelves. James carefully rearranged the books so that it didn’t look there were books missing before throwing the cloak over their heads and scurrying all the way back to the Gryffindor Common Room, where James threw the cloak off and turned to grin at Sirius.

 

“She didn’t even bat an eyelid. That was awesome! Do you have any idea how much we could do with that cloak?! Brilliant!”

 

James beamed with pride, “My dad gave it to me over Christmas, said it was a family heirloom. Told me not to tell mum about it.”

 

Sirius grinned wolfishly at the other boy, still balancing six books in his arms, “Come on, lets go hide these books somewhere only we’ll find them and go to bed, Remus isn’t stupid, he’s probably already getting suspicious.”

 

James’ eyes lit up with a wicked grin before he shoved Sirius towards their dorm room, throwing the invisibility cloak over Sirius’ head, “I have a plan. You follow me into the room. When I open my trunk to grab my pyjamas you put the books down inside, leave the room, take off the cloak, and come back in.”

 

Sirius nodded, forgetting that James couldn’t see him, before following carefully behind the messy-haired boy, slipping into the room without so much as a blink.

 

“Where’s Sirius?” Peter whispered from Remus’ bed.

 

“He’ll be here in a moment.”

 

“Make him hurry up, I think Remus is having a nightmare again.”

 

“Wait what do you mean again?”

 

“He has nightmares almost every night. Sirius usually wakes up and helps him.”

 

“He should have woken me up,” James muttered, but Sirius knew better than to wake James up – last time he had tried, he had received a fist to the face.

 

Sure enough, the quiet, tell-tale whimpers of Remus’ nightmares could be heard, and Sirius almost threw the invisibility cloak aside to go help his friend, but the books were more important, and he swiftly put them down in the trunk as James lifted the lid and left the room before charging back into the room with the invisibility cloak under his arm. James was already climbing into Remus’ bed, following the Law of Upsetness that Sirius had created, when Sirius threw the cloak into James’ trunk and walked over to the other side, slipping into the space on Remus’ left before Peter could manage to get there. Peter soon climbed in next to Sirius, although he kept his distance a little – Sirius thought Peter might be a little scared of him because he was a Black.

 

“What’re you doin’?” Remus’ voice was thick from sleep, and Sirius fancied he could hear the pain from his nightmare in his voice.

 

“You were having a nightmare,” James explained helpfully.

 

“Go to bed, I’m fine,” Remus muttered, sounding a little more awake now.

 

He tried to roll away from James, but ended up lying halfway on Sirius’ chest. Sirius let out a bark-like laugh and wrapped his arms around Remus’ shoulders, “Nu-uh, we have to uphold the rule! If one of our number is upset, then we have to share the upsetee’s bed for as many nights as it takes for said upsetee to no longer be upset.”

 

“Sirius, upsetee is not a word,” Peter muttered.

 

“It is now! New rule: anything Sirius says is officially a word, no questions asked! Anyway, Remus, you’re stuck with us.”

 

Sirius wasn’t sure if he imagined the quiet, muttered ‘thank you’ that was muffled by Sirius’ chest as Remus relaxed into his side, his steady breathing lulling Sirius into a deeper sleep than ever.


	12. Chapter 12

Sirius ducked as a book flew to where his head had been just moments ago, having been expertly thrown by James, and caught the book by the corner with a grunt of exertion, not realising just how heavy _Common Magical Ailments and Afflictions_ was. He chucked it back to the messy-haired boy, but missed, the tome falling short.

 

“This stuff is so boring,” James complained, picking the book up and flipping to the section he had been up to, “And we’re not even close to figuring out whatever’s wrong with Remus.”

 

“He’s our friend, we need to find out so we can help him. He’d do the same for us,” Peter replied, and Sirius couldn’t help but grin at the shorter boy.

 

“As Pete said, we have to figure this out. He’s disappeared for the night again, we have all night. And then we also have Easter break. It’s the least we could do.”

 

“What are you doing for break?”

 

“Mum needs me,” Peter replied instantly, but Sirius kept quiet.

 

“Sirius?”

 

“Mother wants me to go home. She throws a big party during the break to celebrate the spring and whatnot.”

 

“Are you going to go home?”

 

Sirius sighed, looking down at his lap, “I don’t want to, but probably. I have to make sure Reg is ok. Hey, it’s probably asking too much, but did you want to come to mine for the break? Or at least the party? They’re all going to be stuck up purebloods, and my parents are all old hags, and-“

 

“Mate, are you kidding? We could just sit around making fun of them all! And hey, if you’re so upset about having to visit them at least we’ll be there to laugh about it later.”

 

“I wouldn’t be able to go for the whole break, but I’d be happy to go to the party,” Peter replied with an easy smile.

 

“It would be awesome if Remus could go too,” Sirius said quietly, still staring at his hands.

 

Sirius couldn’t imagine confronting home with only two out of three friends. He needed all of them or none of them, solely James to make fun of his hag of a mother and equally evil family wouldn’t be enough, he needed Peter’s constant optimism and his humorously clumsy ways, and Remus’ calm aura, always knowing the right thing to say and when Sirius just needed a hug. He realised with a start that he had built his own family at school, even after just half a year of being there.

 

“Guys, check out the moon!” Peter exclaimed, getting up and running to the window, pressing his face against the glass.

 

“It’s so bright!” James exclaimed in kind, shoving Peter to the side to stare out the window in his place.

 

“It _is_ a full moon tonight,” Sirius replied, a practiced haughty look on his face.

 

James turned to say something to the eldest Black, but something had suddenly clicked in his mind, and Sirius was miles away, his mind mulling over the sudden connection.

 

Remus disappeared tonight, and it was a full moon. He was covered in scars, he always came back even more injured than when he left, he was always dead tired when he returned – and he had disappeared on a full moon night. The evidence was all there, but Remus couldn’t be, could he? Sirius pushed this discovery to the back of his mind, deciding he needed further evidence and research to draw a proper conclusion.

 

“Sirius, you alright mate?” Peter asked, halfway through a spiel on how moon phases were said to affect moods.

 

“Yeah, fine,” Sirius replied, shaking himself out of his thoughts, “I think we should call it a night and go do something fun.”

 

“Like?” James asked, instantly slamming his book shut in anticipation of a possible adventure.

 

“I don’t know, charming all the suits of armour to insult people as they walk past?” Sirius suggested.

 

“What if, instead, we charmed them to walk into class tomorrow and challenge the teachers to a duel?” Peter suggested.

 

“Peter, my man! Excellent thinking!” James exclaimed, and Peter grinned at the praise.

 

“Forwards march! We have some suits of armour to charm!” Sirius called, and together all three of them sprinted down the stairs leading to the common room, James carrying his Invisibility cloak with him.

 

*     *     *

 

“Remus! You’re alive!” Peter sounded joyful, and Remus cracked a small, tired smile in his direction, but it was clear he wasn’t feeling up to it.

 

“Where were you today? You missed it, we tried to charm the suits of armour to run into classes and challenge the teachers, but instead they just recited love poetry,” James added.

 

Sirius, on the other hand, just looked at Remus and held out his arms. Remus had crossed the room in a few long-legged strides and sank into Sirius’ arms, hugging him gratefully.

 

“I took notes for you, I left them on your pillow,” Sirius said quietly.

 

“Thank you,” was Remus’ only reply as he pulled away from Sirius and reached up to fiddle with his left shoulder, whatever was there clearly bugging him.

 

“Come on, mate, you weren’t in classes all day! I thought you were against skipping classes!” James continued, being typically oblivious.

 

“James, shut up,” Peter said quietly, clearly more observant.

 

“I had to do some things for my aunt,” Remus replied quietly, not meeting any of their eyes as he turned away from them and walked towards his bed.

 

“Going to sleep?”

 

Remus nodded in reply, and Sirius got up from his own bed, walking over to Remus’ bed and sliding under the covers before Remus could even complain. James and Peter also joined them in the bed, finally not asking questions as they understood that their friend was upset about something. And as Remus began to tremble and clutch at his left shoulder, overcome by fear and dread and relief, the other three boys shifted closer, making sure their friend knew that they would be there for him no matter what.

 

*     *     *

 

 _We need a group name_.

 

James’ untidy scrawl could have been recognised by Sirius anywhere, including the note that had hit the back of Remus’ head as it flew off course.

 

_Why would we need one of those?_

Remus wrote and sent back, ignoring the pleading look Sirius sent him. James, however, caught it, and threw it back, letting Sirius answer.

 

_I have it! We should be called Eyslk!_

Remus snorted as Sirius showed him the parchment before launching it back to James, whose laugh was much more audible, but didn’t put Professor Binns off in the slightest.

 

_What about Marauders?_

Peter’s writing was surprisingly neat despite his inability to do anything else neatly. It looked much like Remus’ kindergarten teachers’ handwriting from his old books, before he was told he wasn’t going to return to school.

 

_It’s better than Eyslk._

 

James’ handwriting had become even more messy in the few seconds between his first message and the new one.

 

_Anything’s better than Eyslk._

 

Sirius sent him an affronted look, but Remus saw the laughter in the boy’s grey eyes and just stuck his tongue out at him.

 

_Marauders it is then!_

After the note had been returned to James, who placed it in his bag, Sirius, caught a small smile on Remus’ face.

 

_What’re you so happy about?_

 

Remus thought Sirius’ handwriting was beautiful. It had none of the complicated loops that Remus wrote, nor the careful precision of Peter’s handwriting or the messy chicken scratches of James’ handwriting. It was the kind of jerky excitement that was solely attributed to Sirius, and Remus couldn’t help but think it was beautiful.

 

_No reason._

Sirius wasn’t fooled, especially when the boy’s smile widened even more, clearly not paying attention to Binns.

 

_As if. Why’re you smiling like that?_

_Marauders._

Sirius smiled at the single word Remus had written back, the word looking much nicer in Remus’ elegant handwriting.

 

_What’re you doing during the Easter break?_

_I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it. You?_

_My family throws a party every Easter for the spring. James might be staying over break, Peter’s going to the party. Mother won’t be happy, but I’d like you to come too. You in?_

_Do I get to hit your mother?_

_So aggressive!_

Remus shot an amused smirk at Sirius as the boy snatched the parchment back and wrote another note.

 

_So are you in?_

_Sure. I’ll just have to avoid saying who you are, my dad doesn’t like your family._

_Are you sure? You know your dad is right not to like them, and my family hates half-bloods, and I can’t promise my family will be nice to you because they know who your family is_

Remus snatched the parchment away as Sirius was writing, not letting him finish his sentence.

 

_As long as it doesn’t cause problems for you, I would love to go._

Sirius had to stop and read the words a few times. He hadn’t considered that his mother might react badly towards him. He looked over to his friend, who was watching him quietly, concern written across his features, and realised he didn’t care.

 

_I’ll be fine, I’ve lived with the old hag for years._

_You know James and Peter and I will be there for you if things backfire, yeah?_

_Yeah. Thank you, Rem._

_Just as long as one day I get to hit your mum._

Sirius smiled, tucking the parchment into a pocket in his robes. He had never dreamed that he’d ever have friends like these three, and he never wanted to go back to a time without them.

 

*     *     *

 

“Professor, I was wondering how you could identify a dark creature,” Sirius asked Professor Rust, their young Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher during one of her lessons on a lazy Tuesday afternoon.

 

“It depends on the dark creature,” Rust replied, watching Sirius with bright blue eyes, framed by light brown hair similar to Peter’s.

 

“The ones that look human? You know, like vampires and werewolves?”

 

Sirius wouldn’t have noticed Remus suddenly straightening if he hadn’t been paying close attention to his friend.

 

“You’ll learn that later, for now worry yourself with the topic we’re discussing in class.”

 

Sirius tried to hide his annoyance, leaning back in his chair with a huff, but he didn’t miss the way Remus reached up to grab his left shoulder, the tips of his fingers pressing into the muscle there as if something was bothering him.

 

The lesson seemed to drag on forever, as lessons on lazy Tuesday afternoons do. The subject was interesting enough, but Sirius found it hard to enjoy the theory work, preferring actually getting in there and performing the spells, and as such he rarely enjoyed Defence Against the Dark Arts. He was more than glad when he finally left the room, although Remus’ silence since his question worried him.

 

“What’re you thinking so hard about?” Sirius asked him as soon as they were back in the Common Room.

 

Remus had gone straight for an armchair in front of the fire, not caring that the other occupant of the area was a fifth year with messy hair and even messier handwriting, if the essay she was frantically writing was any indication.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Something’s bothering you.”

 

“There’s nothing you can do about it.”

 

“Rem, please tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Remus looked up, amber eyes glinting amber in the firelight, but fear darkened the glow. The light played over his skin, lighting his features in a beautiful orange glow. Sirius couldn’t help but remember ‘The Incident’, and he hoped that it wasn’t too obvious from his face.

 

“Sirius, drop it. Please. I can’t-“

 

“You know you can trust me.”

 

“I trust you more than anyone else. But not with this.”

 

“What’s going to happen when I figure it out? You can’t hide something forever, you know, we live with you, we’re going to find out eventually.”

 

“Please don’t try. Sirius, just let it go, it’s for the best. This could kill you.”

 

Sirius didn’t reply, only slid into the armchair alongside Remus and leaned into his side, hoping that the boy could draw some comfort from Sirius’ closeness, in the same way Sirius drew comfort from Remus’ closeness.

 

Lily appeared at Remus’ elbow, and both boys shifted over a little to let her climb into the space next to him.

 

“Marlene is driving me nuts,” she muttered, a small smile on her face, “she thinks we should charm our dorm room purple to rebel against the system. She and Dorcas are arguing about it, Dorcas thinks we should turn it pink.”

 

“Tell them to make it black, really rebel against the system,” Remus replied mildly.

 

“Tell them to make it black, and then add streaks of purple and pink in the black. Look cool while rebelling against the system,” Sirius added.

 

Lily looked over to the stairway that led to the girls’ dormitory, the two arguing first years reaching the bottom.

 

“Tell them yourself. Marlene! Dorcas!” Lily called with a wicked smile while Remus begged her to spare them.

 

“Lily! Oh hey, Black. Lupin.”

 

“It’s Sirius, actually,” Sirius corrected, Remus adding his own muttered correction.

 

“What do you think of changing our dorm room to be purple? We thought we’d make a statement about houses at Hogwarts by changing our dorm.”

 

“If you’re rebelling against the system, it’s always better to do it in black,” Sirius replied.

 

Marlened exchanged a look with Dorcas, “You know, he’s right.”

 

“If you’re really set on purple, you could always add random streaks of it to the black,” Sirius added, as if he hadn’t even considered it before.

 

“We could have pink streaks in it too, our dorm room would be the coolest in the whole castle!” Dorcas added excitedly.

 

“This calls for a celebration,” Marlene exclaimed, grabbing both Dorcas and Sirius’ arm and dragging them out of the armchair towards the portrait hole.

 

“What did you have in mind?” Remus asked mildly, following behind the excited blonde Gryffindor with Lily

 

“I don’t actually know. Do you guys know somewhere we can celebrate?”

 

“I might have an idea,” Remus replied, and as Marlene slowed down and allowed Sirius and Dorcas to walk alongside him, he began to lead the way to the castle’s kitchens, hoping the house elves were willing to part with some chocolate.


	13. Chapter 13

Sirius’ hands shook as he penned the letter to his mother, asking if his friends could come over for the party. Remus hugged him from behind, rubbing comforting circles against Sirius’ hip, his soft scent of grass and old books lightly tickling Sirius’ nose, but for once it didn’t manage to calm him. Remus every so often would murmur a quiet encouragement, but for the most part he stayed silent as Sirius continued to wrinkle up bits of parchment and throw them in the bin.

 

He completed his final draft, letting out a deep sigh of acceptance that he wouldn’t be able to do anything better, and carefully folded it, his hands still shaking. Remus’ hands lifted from Sirius’ waist and snaked down his arms, covering Sirius’ hands as he folded and helping him flatten the folded edge before simply standing behind him, hands still lightly covering Sirius’ shaking.

 

Sirius turned around and wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist, “I hate them.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I hope they burn.”

 

“No you don’t.”

 

“No, I don’t.”

 

Sirius let out a calming breath before turning back to pick up the letter.

 

“Come with me to the owlery?”

 

Remus nodded, standing up and stretching out his long legs before reaching over to make a grab for Sirius’ hand, smiling uncertainly at Sirius.

 

Sirius lightly tugged on Remus’ hand as he turned and silently left the dorm, Remus following close behind. As they walked across the common room, Sirius felt a different small hand in his, and he was washed in a sudden wave of emotion as Lily walked alongside him, a kind, comforting smile on her face and her hand a light weight in his. She said nothing, only walked as Sirius and Remus made their way to the owlery.

 

“Sagittarius,” Remus called quietly as Sirius’ voice failed him, and Lily gently took the parchment from Sirius’ fingers and tied it to Sagittarius’ leg.

 

“We’re your family now. We’ll fight your parents with you,” Lily’s voice was quiet as she watched Sirius pat the owl’s back with trembling fingers, still not letting go of Remus’ hand.

 

“You don’t have to be afraid of them anymore, you have us now.”

 

Sirius let go of Remus’ hand, his fingertips lingering for only a moment longer before he stretched his arm out, letting the regal owl land on his shoulder.

 

“Take it home, yeah? Stay safe. I’ll give you a treat when you get back.”

 

The owl gave a quiet hoot and lightly nuzzled his cheek with her beak before taking flight, soaring on strong wings out into the night.

 

“I’m not worth fighting my parents for,” Sirius muttered quietly, wrapping his arms around his middle.

 

Two punches landed together on either one of his shoulders, and Lily and Remus grinned at each other for a moment before turning back.

 

“Stop being an idiot,” Lily commanded, at the same time as Remus said “You don’t even know what you’re worth.”

 

Sirius took a deep breath, but before he could say anything, Lily pointed excitedly outside as a firefly crested the horizon, and with many excited shouts and the smallest amount of skipping, the three snuck out of the castle and out onto the dark grounds, all worries forgotten as they chased after the cloud of fireflies that had arisen on the very edge of the Forbidden Forest.

 

*     *     *

 

The morning post began with a fluttering of wings and ended in a Sirius who looked devoid of emotion. Remus asked multiple times to read the letter he had received, but Sirius had refused to show him. Peter, after a few moments, tried to snatch the letter out of Sirius’ hands, but Sirius’ reflexes were too quick. James, for his part, just left him alone.

 

“They’re wrong, you know. Whatever they said,” Remus said earnestly, but still Sirius said nothing, just stared out into the distance.

 

Lily, who had been talking to Marlene, stood up and slid into the seat next to Sirius in the Great Hall, only muttering that he didn’t need them as she did so, understanding almost instantly what he was upset about.

 

Sirius muttered unintelligibly, but he lightly leaned against Lily anyway, taking comfort in her fierce compassion, the way she sat as if she was ready to leap up and fight for what she believed in if she had to, completely unafraid of the consequences. Remus sat next to him, less fierce and less tense, but his gaze was steady, determined, unafraid. James lazily regarded the room, his posture laid back, comfortable and unafraid. Peter, who was doing his best to seem unafraid, his head held high as he did his best to ignore the danger.

 

Further along, Marlene McKinnon sat, fiery in her beliefs, and Dorcas Meadowes, shaking her head with a small smile on her face as she talked to Marlene, her kindness radiating from her in calming waves. Beside her, Mary MacDonald laughed at whatever Marlene was saying, a bright ray of sunshine that was untouched by sadness or stress. All three were also so unafraid of being themselves, so open and welcoming. Sirius could see all of them going through thick and thin with their heads held high, staying true to themselves and true to their friends.

 

 _This is Gryffindor,_ Sirius found himself thinking, drawing strength from their strength, _Gryffindors are brave, Gryffindors fight for what they believe in._

 

He straightened suddenly, looking around at his friends, his true family, the people who made the place his home, and he knew he never would have had it any other way, and that he’d fight his own parents to keep them at his side if he had to.

 

“Pack your bags, boys, we’re going to the old hag’s spring party.”

 

*     *     *

 

Sirius sat on the train with three of his best friends, watching as Remus charmed James’ glasses to zoom away from James’ grasp, his laughing eyes meeting Sirius’ for a minute before returning to the charmed glasses. Peter was in fits of laughter over James’ less than graceful swipes at the air, occasionally asking James if he was a Quidditch player or the giant squid as he continued to miss.

 

“You take over, my arm’s tired,” Remus said, laughter in his voice as he flicked the glasses out of James’ reach, letting them hover there for a few moments as Sirius took out his wand and started levitating the glasses back into James’ range.

 

The train pulled in just as James’ clumsy movements finally managed to find his glasses, and he shoved them firmly onto his face with an exaggerated huff. Peter imitated James’ movements as he retrieved his trunk from the carriage, and James let out a fake-offended huff again as he grabbed his things before turning to face the other three and, with an evil grin, chased them off the train, only to collide into Sirius – closely followed by the other two – as he stopped short, catching sight of his parents’ vaguely disapproving faces.

 

Remus lightly squeezed his shoulder comfortingly, and Sirius sent him a small, unconvincing smile before walking through the crowd towards his parents, his steps slow to make sure his friends were still walking alongside him.

 

“Father, this is James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin,” Sirius said, his voice coldly formal as he gestured to his friends in order, “Guys, this is my father, Orion Black.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you,” Remus said politely, holding out his hand, but Sirius’ father ignored him.

 

“Do you mind if we help Peter find his parents?” Sirius asked, adopting the same haughty look his father was wearing, only the light brush of Remus’ arm against his stopping him from doing anything else.

 

He wasn’t sure what he would do, if he were being honest. His newfound Gryffindor spirit wanted him to stand up for his friend, to argue with his father until he saw that his friends weren’t inferior just because they were Gryffindors – or half-bloods, in Remus’ case.

 

From the other side of the platform, Lily waved at them, catching Sirius’ eye, and Sirius waved back, ignoring his father’s quiet, disapproving huff as she disappeared with her parents.

 

“Do what you will, I’ll be waiting outside.”

 

Peter moved off, and Sirius, James and Remus followed close behind him. Remus, James and Peter flanked Sirius, keeping him in between them without saying a word. The haughty expression on Sirius’ face was enough to keep them from talking, but Remus couldn’t help but slide his hand into Sirius’, the light touch comforting him. He squeezed Remus’ hand gently, and Remus squeezed his back, and the coldness that had surrounded Sirius since he had seen his father began to thaw.

 

“Sorry, Rem. I did warn you…”

 

“I’m used to it. It’s fine.”

 

Sirius exchanged a glance first with James, then with Peter, but they said nothing as they all continued to search for Peter’s family.

 

“Peter!” a small voice shrieked suddenly, and a head of fair hair suddenly appeared from the crowd around them, hugging her brother as best she could at her height.

 

“There you are! And hello, James! And are these two your friends?”

 

“These are Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.”

 

Sirius noticed the way her friendly smile twitched for a moment at the sound of his last name, and sending a mental glare at his family, he held out his hand in the same way that Remus had to his parents just before, hoping he was wearing a friendly smile despite feeling rather murderous.

 

“Nice to meet you, Mrs Pettigrew,” he said brightly, flashing her a flippant smile.

 

Remus, for his part, just smiled politely and said a quiet hello, his line stolen by the much more energetic boy.

 

“Good to meet you! I’m afraid we have to head off, I need to cook dinner. Goodbye, boys!”

 

“Bye! See you soon!” James, Sirius and Remus chorused as Peter, his mother, and his sister disappeared into the crowd.

 

“Last chance to leave,” Sirius said quietly, but neither Remus nor James moved away, and when Sirius began walking towards the exit, they followed him, their hands finding Sirius’ as they provided comfort to their friend.

 

Sirius glanced at both of them again, Remus’ quiet, determined demeanour that had no room for fear, James’ laid-back, slightly arrogant demeanour that boasted of courage. He wasn’t a Slytherin like his family – he was a Gryffindor, and he would show them what it takes to be a true Gryffindor.

 

*     *     *

 

Dinner at the Black’s house was a quiet, solemn event. Remus was ignored for the most part, other than an offhand comment from Sirius’ mother asking if he was Lyall Lupin’s son. He didn’t seem to mind, looking perfectly happy to simply pick at his own food and bounce his leg under the table until Sirius clapped his knee, forcing his leg into stillness.

 

James, on the other hand, was receiving a rather polite amount of attention – mounds of it in comparison to Remus. The Potters and the Blacks weren’t very close, having very different views about most things, but unlike Remus, James was a pure-blood, and despite growing in a home with very different views, he had still been brought up knowing he could have almost anything and with that upbringing came the slight arrogance that most purebloods have.

 

Eventually, Sirius couldn’t take the unfairness anymore.

 

“Have you heard from Hope? She owes me a number of biscuits.”

 

“Mum’s fine, she found a job at a local school teaching English to fifteen year olds – says they ate all of her biscuits, there are none left. Why does she owe you biscuits?” Remus seemed a little relieved to be able to talk, although he kept casting glances at Sirius’ parents, who looked as if they had swallowed something sour.

 

“She told me that if I didn’t get into trouble at school she’d make me some.”

 

“Hey, where’s mine?!” James called, making Remus laugh.

 

“I only have one mum, she can’t make biscuits for all of us, all her students, dad, and herself.”

 

“Can’t she just use magic to-“

 

“She’s a muggle, James, she doesn’t have magic. Even if she did, making biscuits is her fun, she’d never use magic for it.”

 

Remus crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair, his eyes daring anyone to make a comment about his mother.

 

“She might as well have magic, those biscuits are heavenly,” Sirius said, shooting Remus a friendly smile and ignoring the quiet, disapproving huffs from his parents.

 

The three had finished their dinner now, as had Sirius’ parents. A house elf walked out of the kitchen, skin grimy as it stared at the unfamiliar occupants in disgust. Remus opened his mouth to ask if he could help with the dishes, but Sirius already saw what was coming and lightly clapped Remus on the shoulder before he could say anything, whispering in his ear that his parents wouldn’t appreciate being asked if they needed help.

 

Remus nodded quietly in understanding, his hands falling into his lap as he quietly stared at the table in front of him.

 

“Where’s Regulus?” Sirius asked, glancing over at his father.

 

“He’s staying with your uncle Cygnus. You will see him at the Spring gathering. You’re dismissed.”

 

Sirius couldn’t help but be disappointed as he watched his parents stand up and leave the room. Remus and James watched Sirius for a few moments, standing up and following him as he led them to his room, past troll’s feet and disapproving portraits and the house-elf they had seen before, muttering to itself as it dusted one of the walls and into a room decorated in silver and green, reminding them they were in Slytherin territory.

 

“Your parents are a little… Intense,” Remus said quietly, breaking the awkward silence that had descended on them and reminding them that they we all here for each other.

 

“A little intense? A little intense?! Mate, your parents are the acromantulas of intense!” James exclaimed.

 

“Nah, acromantulas are much prettier than them.”

 

James laughed, clapping Sirius on the back, but Remus looked apprehensive until Sirius reminded him that living in a wizarding home meant that most of the rooms had charms on them to keep the rooms soundproof.

 

Remus automatically let out a sigh of relief, walking over to Sirius’ bed and sitting down on the green covers. Sirius and James sat down next to him with twin faces of mischief, as if they had read each other’s mind.

 

“So, since his parents are such banshees-“

 

“And are absolute dickheads-“

 

“We naturally thought-“

 

“Well actually, I thought, but-“

 

“Yes, Sirius thought that we’d give them something to remember us by.”

 

“Preferably something extremely nasty.”

 

Remus looked between James and Sirius, whose mysterious smiles had gotten even bigger. He couldn’t help but be amused despite the headache they were giving him by speaking over the top of each other.

 

“We know you don’t really like our pranks, but come on, Rem, we need you.”

 

Remus knew what his answer would be before they had even asked the question, “Alright.”

 

“Really?”

 

Yes, James, really.”

 

“I thought pranking people wasn’t your thing!”

 

“That’s when they don’t deserve it. Mr and Mrs Black deserve it more than anyone I know.”

 

Sirius’ face seemed to light up with mischief and joy, and he quickly ran to his school trunk that had been placed there as soon as they had arrived, beginning to call out an inventory of pranking items while James suggested possible things they could do with each of the items.

 

“Sirius, did you say you had belch powder?” Remus asked suddenly.

 

“Yes!”

 

“And itching powder?”

 

“Yep!”

 

“What about fireworks and dungbombs?”

 

“…Yes?”

 

“And we can use our wands in this house, yeah?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“I have an idea.”

 

*     *     *

 

The three had been given separate rooms to sleep in, the manor at Grimmauld Place not lacking in rooms, but as they lay in their separate rooms they found they were wide awake. None of them could get to sleep without their friends anymore, they had gotten too used to the comfort of having them around, of hearing their soft breathing in the middle of the night, of hearing Peter’s snores and Sirius shuffling around in his bed as if he were covered in itching powder, and James’ sleeptalking, and Remus’ quiet sighs as he slept.

 

James cracked first, slipping out of bed and sinking his bare feet into the lush, green carpet, beneath him as he padded to the door and opened it without a sound. He stepped into the hallway, walking blindly down to the door that lead to Sirius’ room and slipped into the room, curling up next to Sirius on the four-poster bed. The house was big and foreign, and the colours were unwelcoming to any but Slytherin purebloods, and James would never admit it aloud but he was rather intimidated, deeply out of his depth and needed the comfort of his friends in this strange house.

 

It wasn’t long before James felt a long, lanky body slip under the cover beside him, bony shoulders pressing lightly against James’ more muscular ones. Remus let out a quiet sigh as he covered himself up to his chin and shifted until he was comfortable, close enough to James to feel his warmth without quite touching him.

 

None of the three said anything – they didn’t need to. They all knew why they had piled onto the large bed as they drew comfort from being around their friends. One of their number was missing, and they could feel the lack of Peter’s presence acutely in the way that the bed didn’t seem as small as it usually did with all four boys, but they had each other, and for now it would have to be enough.


	14. Chapter 14

The quiet mutterings of polite conversation filled the elegantly decorated room, the silver on the walls boasting of wealth. Sirius stood beside his mother, greeting the guests with a polite smile as they arrived. Remus and James, in the meantime, were busy setting up their prank. It wasn’t going to be comfortable for any of them, but Sirius thought he could handle it, knowing what was coming – especially if it humiliated his family as they had humiliated him and his friends.

 

Remus and James reappeared at Sirius’ side, a gleeful look on James’ face and a quiet, mischievous look on Remus’. Sirius himself smiled a little at their mischief and glee, only resenting a little that he wasn’t able to be more involved in the prank.

 

“Peter!” Remus suddenly called, noticing their pudgy friend, and waved him over.

 

Sirius’ mother ignored them, which suited Sirius just fine. James slung an arm around the other two boys’ shoulders and guided them away from the entrance, Remus sending Sirius an apologetic look as he was dragged away.

 

“May I be excused?” he asked his mother as the Lestrange family entered the building.

 

“Whatever.”

 

Sirius hesitated for a moment, but left without saying another word, chasing after his friends and barrelling into all of them with all the force of an 11 year old boy.

 

“Sirius, get off!” James exclaimed, but Sirius didn’t move until Remus, who had been pinned under Sirius’ elbow, somehow managed to contort himself so that he could lightly nip Sirius’ arm, sending the other boy straight off the three of them.

 

“He bit me!” Sirius exclaimed dramatically, much to Remus’ amusement.

 

“There there, drama queen,” James muttered, which was the wrong thing to say, evident very suddenly by the way Sirius drew himself up with a maniacal glint in his eye.

 

“I am the drama queen!” he announced in the most theatrical voice he could manage, “Bow down to me, peasants!”

 

James made a rude gesture in Sirius’ direction, but Remus just muttered under his breath, “all hail the supreme idiocy.”

 

Sirius returned the gesture James had made, choosing to also include Remus in it.

 

“I am shocked! Nay, thunderstruck! Such insolence under my rule!”

 

Peter, who had managed to disappear in that sneaky way of his, tackled Sirius from behind, sending him sprawling onto the floor.

 

“BETRAYAL IN THE QUEENDOM!” Sirius shrieked before turning to look at James and Remus, who were both pulling faces at him when his back was turned, “COME, BRAVE KNIGHTS, SERVE YOUR QUEEN! GET THE EVIL PETER THING OFF ME!”

 

“Nah,” James replied without hesitation, while Remus walked over and sat down on top of Sirius’ shoulder blades.

 

A quiet cough interrupted the tussle that ensued, and the four boys froze in equally compromising positions, looking up at the disapproving face of one Walburga ‘Old Hag’ Black.

 

“Your cousin has arrived. Straighten your robes and join us in the study,” she said flatly as the four boys got to their feet, Peter and Sirius jumping to attention while Remus stood up a little more calmly, and James rose at a speed which was almost too laid-back.

 

With a haughty sniff, Sirius’ mother turned with a flourish of her robes and stalked away.

 

“I brought the cloak, you know, it’s in my trunk. We could all sneak in there together with you,” James suggested, and Remus and Peter both nodded, agreeing to sneak in without being asked.

 

“Thanks, Jamie.”

 

“DON’T CALL ME THAT YOU DICKHEAD!” James exclaimed, glancing around at the ‘civilised’ people around him to see if the muggle swearing had caused any reaction.

 

To his delight, a number of conversations paused as their members turned and glared at him, looking ever the typical, rich stereotype.

 

“I’ve been meaning to do that since people started getting here,” he admitted later, as he pulled his invisibility cloak out from his trunk and threw it over Peter, Remus and himself.

 

They had to press against each other a little, and Remus was suddenly all too aware that all three of them were eleven year old boys with knobbly knees and bony elbows, but they were doing it for Sirius, and eventually James’ elbow in his stomach was less painful and more a simple inconvenience.

 

Sirius, in the meantime, had finished combing his hair and adjusting his clothes, and was quietly staring at the spot where they had disappeared only moments ago.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Peter and James nodded their heads, but only Remus had the sense to call out an affirmative, adding with a hint of amusement that Sirius couldn’t see them and therefore their nodding had gone unnoticed.

 

“Then let’s go.”

 

Sirius turned and led the way down back through the room and walked into the study, where Narcissa Black sat with her parents, her back tall and her gaze focused somewhere in the distance, keeping up the typical Black haughtiness.

 

“Sirius, I trust your studies are going well?”

 

Sirius would have made a rude comment, especially with his friends in the room to back him up, but he felt a light tap on his shoulder by the incredibly insightful Peter to remind him that no, he didn’t want to offend his crazy family when he still relied on them.

 

“Of course,” he replied instead, his tone cold but neutral, the same tone he had learned to adopt around visitors if he didn’t want them to treat him as a child – it mostly worked.

 

A different hand rested on his shoulder then – Remus’ hand, Sirius guessed, judging by the size of his hand and the gentle way the fingers squeezed there, as if he wasn’t sure he knew his strength and was doing his best not to hurt someone.

 

“Bellatrix tells me you keep interesting company,” his aunt said, not blinking as she stared down at him with the same vulture-like look that his mother often gave him.

 

Sirius merely shrugged, “They’re my friends.”

 

“They are also blood-traitors.”

 

Sirius heard a quiet rustling of the invisibility cloak as James nearly leaped forwards in defence of his friends, only held back by a surprisingly strong Remus and a particularly inventive Peter, who had somehow managed to pin James against Remus with all of his body weight while getting his limbs tangled in James’. Sirius coughed to cover it up, hoping the rest of his family wouldn’t hear the rustling.

 

“They are my friends,” Sirius said, his tone final, and he had a positively dangerous glint in his eye as he met his aunt’s gaze, then Narcissa’s, then his mother’s, “I will not hear you insult them.”

 

“I would urge you to reconsider your friendships. Narcissa is more than willing to introduce you to the right people,” his mother began, but Sirius cut her off quickly.

 

“I know who the right people are. My friends. I don’t want to be introduced to any of your slimy snakes, I prowl with the lions now,” Sirius knew he was probably taking it too far, but as he said the words he felt their truth, and as he felt their truth he remembered his friends’ courage, and it made him bold.

 

He stood up with an elegance that most would have been extremely proud of, and looked directly at his mother.

 

“May I be excused?”

 

His mother only sent him a tight nod in reply, and he turned and walked to the door, copying the relaxed fluidity of James’ movements as he did so. He was very conscious of how angry his mother would be at the lack of stiff elegance, but he really didn’t care at that very moment, swaggering to the door to the study room and opening it, purposely leaving it open to let his friends leave the room after him. They quickly ducked into a room they recognised – they had already been met with one too many nasty curses and creatures in their exploration of the Black’s mansion, and ripped the cloak off, the three boys materialising with ease.

 

“Your face was way too close,” James muttered to Peter, earning him a rude gesture.

 

“Shouldn’t have tried to leave. How was I to know that Remus is strong enough to hold you back? He has no muscles!”

 

Remus, in a rare show of impoliteness, stuck his tongue out at Peter.

 

“We should get back, my family may be wondering if we’re up to something.”

 

“Not that they acknowledge my existence,” Remus muttered, and Peter gave him a sympathetic one-armed hug before dashing after James and Sirius, who had decided the best way to re-enter a formal event was by racing and declaring a winner.

 

 Remus almost ran straight into James as the boy stopped short, almost crashing into a girl they recognised as another of Sirius’ cousins – Bellatrix.

 

“How dare you blood-traitors desecrated this house!” she hissed, but Remus grabbed both Sirius and James as they lunged forwards and easily dragged them away as they sent her rude gestures the entire way across the room.

 

“You’re no fun, Remus.”

 

“If we act too hostile they’ll suspect it’s us,” was Remus’ only reply, and although the chances of them suspecting the four boys was high in the first place, their hostility and refusal to play by the rules would make them an even greater suspect.

 

Sirius looked like he was going to say something, but instead he turned, holding his hand out to the group, “Someone dance with me.”

 

James looked at him as if he was crazy, and Peter was shaking his head firmly. Remus took a fraction too long to react.

 

“Remus?”

 

The boy groaned, rubbing at his temples, “I can’t dance.”

 

“You know I saw you dance with your dad on Christmas, right?”[

 

“That’s different to… this dancing.”

 

Sirius didn’t seem to care, grabbing Remus’ hand and using it to pull him close into his arms. It was the first time they had been this close since the Incident, and Remus took a small step back to put some space between them. Sirius, however, took this as a sign that he was willing to dance with him, and didn’t hesitate to step forwards with the other boy.

 

“See? It’s not that hard,” Sirius said, his grin growing wider as he caught a few disapproving looks from his relatives.

 

He tried to twirl Remus around in the way he had been taught, but the fair-haired boy hadn’t grown up learning the subtle queues of formal dances, and he ended up falling, tripping Sirius and sending him sprawling alongside him with a bark of laughter.

 

“Were you trying to injure me?” Remus teased, but Sirius was still laughing, for once feeling comfortable at a gathering with his family.

 

It was all their fault, Sirius realised in surprise, and the thought sobered him up a little. James, Remus and Peter – and Lily too – had completely turned his life on its head. In some ways, he knew that they may completely ruin any chance he had ever had of being a member of the proud house of Black, of inheriting the mountains of galleons in his bank, of starting and continuing to be a respected member of the Wizarding society. But he had never felt comfortable knowing that he had his entire life planned out in front of him. His four Gryffindor friends had turned his life on its head – and had rescued him, brought him into a world where he could be comfortable with being himself, where he could laugh so hard he cried, where he would never be told to go away and mind his own business without any reason. And when Remus called his name, asking if he was still with there, he turned and sent the biggest smile he could manage to the fair-haired boy, pushing himself up off the floor to embrace him.

 

Remus let the boy cling to him for a few moments, but soon pulled away, leaning to mutter in his ear, “I bet you won’t be able to convince Peter to dance with you.”

 

“Two sickles. You’re on.”

 

“There better be some table dancing involved.”

 

 

*     *     *

 

Remus, James and Sirius were all curled together under Sirius’ blanket, a muggle torch Remus kept handy lit up their faces, casting shadows around their lips and noses and eyes. James had, a long time ago, exhausted all the possible variations to holding the torch under his chin and grinning evilly, and Sirius exhausted all the possible variations of rude gestures at the exact same time – the timing so excellent it would have been surprising if the gestures weren’t mostly directed at James – and they had turned their thoughts onto the events of the day.

 

“I told you I’d get Peter to dance with me!” Sirius was crowing at Remus, who laughed at the memory.

 

“You’re quite an impressive table dancer,” Remus said, clutching his side which was beginning to ache from laughter.

 

“You’re not too shabby yourself,” James cut in, a wide grin on his face.

 

“Did you see the old hag’s face when that Malfoy and Carrow lot took off?” Sirius asked, filled with glee, “they looked like they were positively itching to leave.”

 

“How about those Rosier creeps? Half of them excused themselves to the toilet covering their mouths!”

 

“When the dungbombs went off I thought she was going to faint! Greatest day of my life! Hey Rem, stop thinking and celebrate with us!”

 

Remus startled out of his thoughts as Sirius clapped a hand on his back, and a small, almost shy smile crossed his face, “It was pretty good to see Bellatrix run into that wall. She deserved that.”

 

“If Remus says it was a good prank then it must be true!” James announced proudly.

 

“It was a good night,” Sirius said, sounding a little melancholy and laying down with his head on the pillow.

 

The other three boys all shuffled until they lay side by side in the four-poster bed, comforting each other with their closeness.

 

“We’ll have more good nights like these, Siri,” Remus said quietly as he prepared to go to bed, accidentally elbowing James in the stomach as he tried to see the dark-haired boy over the top of James.

 

The room was silent for a few moments, and Remus was about to fall asleep when a voice cut through the silence, “I don’t want this night to end.”

 

“Remus do you have any good stories?” James asked out of the blue, catching Remus off-guard.

 

“What kind of stories?”

 

“Any stories.”

 

“Like… Fictional?”

 

“If you want.”

 

“Sure, I remember a few.”

 

“Could you tell us some?” Sirius asked, sounding like a five year old, but when he sent Remus a pleading look that turned his face soft even in the harsh torchlight, Remus relented, thinking back to the nights when his mother would tell him stories as he prepared to go to bed.

 

“I am Sam. Sam I am.

“That Sam-I-Am! That Sam-I-Am! I do not like that Sam-I-am!

“Do you like green eggs and ham?

“I do not like them Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham.”

 

As Remus continued the story from his childhood, the one his mother had read to him often when he himself couldn’t sleep – and probably got half of it wrong, although he guessed his version was better, Sirius and James listened quietly, Sirius softly laughing when Remus “accidentally” made one of the verses sound rude.

 

When Remus was finished his wildly inaccurate re-telling of Dr. Seuss, the room was silent. James had fallen asleep long ago, and Sirius lay, unmoving, his breathing deep and even.

 

“Thank you Remus,” he whispered as Remus turned off the torch, his words almost swallowed by the darkness.

 

Sirius soon fell into a deep sleep, but not before hearing Remus’ whispered “Good night”, and feeling James snuggle into his side for warmth and comfort.


	15. Chapter 15

Something had changed about Sirius when they got back to school. Remus noticed it the most, being closer to Sirius than the others other than maybe James, but Peter, Lily, and even the normally oblivious James had noticed the way the eldest Black suddenly burned with a fire, how he held his head higher than ever, as if to show everyone the darkness in his eyes.

 

Remus, of course, had guesses, all of which would have been true if he had voiced them to Sirius. He had made the connection between the long moments when Sirius had been called downstairs and his refusal to read the Daily Prophet’s articles on the dark wizard that was rumoured to be rising. He easily read into the nervous way Sirius twisted a ring he was given over the Easter holidays during one of those long moments, bearing the heavy crest of the Black house. The way he’d occasionally take it off and glare into the fire, as if wishing for nothing more than to throw it into the flames, to watch it melt into nothingness. Remus had made all the right connections, but he said nothing – would say nothing unless Sirius brought it up, or the situation got worse.

 

All of them climbed into Sirius’ bed night after night, legs and arms hanging off the edges, four blankets strewn across their bodies, pillows cast to the floor as four boys shuffled in their sleep. It had become more than a matter of comfort now – the nights they had spent curled up together, arms around shoulders as they comforted each other, had made it hard to sleep without anyone beside them, let alone without anyone in the same room.

 

“Remus, can you tell us a story?” James or Sirius or Peter would occasionally ask, and Remus would do his best to recall the stories he’d read in his youth, but he was running out of stories he could remember.

 

“Remus? Story?” Sirius asked one night after a particularly rough day, having run into Bellatrix trying to hex one of the Hufflepuff first years.

 

They had gotten there in time to defend the Hufflepuff, who didn’t have as much experience with hexes and jinxes as the four of them, Sirius throwing himself recklessly in front of the Hufflepuff to ensure his safety – Bellatrix wouldn’t kill the Black heir, he explained later, bitterness tangible. James had jumped into the fray at Sirius’ side, both boys outdoing themselves with their meagre knowledge of spells as they fought Bellatrix while Remus and Peter got the Hufflepuff safely away through one of the many shortcuts they had discovered in their explorations of the castle. James and Sirius had both received detentions, even when Peter and Remus did their best to explain the situation to the livid Professor McGonagall, but they were more than pleased to hear that Bellatrix had received more detentions than they had, even if they were going to be serving their detentions together.

 

“I don’t remember any more,” Remus muttered quietly, fiddling with the edge of a pillow, “I can tell one of them again?”

 

“Can’t you make one up?” Sirius asked, turning his head to look directly into Remus’ eyes, his eyes wide and pleading, reminding Remus of a puppy.

 

Remus sighed, but he began creating a story anyway.

 

“Once upon a time, there lived a great dragon, with wings strong as the winds in early November, and with talons sharper than the night…” Remus began, drawing on a remotely dramatic flair he didn’t know he had as he painted a worded picture of a great, aristocratic, dark dragon who had enslaved human-kind.

 

He quietly drew the boys into an adventure, placing all four of them – nameless, of course, but they all knew who was who – into a dark forest, climbing up to face the great, black dragon. James was the first to attack it, plunging a sword deep into the dragon’s flank and wounding it. Peter had snuck onto the dragon’s back and was clinging tight to the spikes along its spine as he distracted the beast. Remus weaved around the dragon’s legs and tail, providing further distraction by slashing at the scales around its legs. Sirius plunged his sword deep into the dragon’s stomach, mortally wounding the dragon. They let it flee away, to a far off cave where it would die from its wounds.

 

“And the great black dragon would bother human-kind no more,” Remus ended his great, made-up adventure, hoping Sirius had heard it all and understood what he had been trying to say.

 

“That’s the best story you’ve ever told us, Remus!” Peter called from the other side of the bed, surprisingly not asleep.

 

“I’ve got to agree with Peter, that was amazing,” Sirius added, and Remus began to blush from the praise.

 

A quiet snore was all James contributed, although none were surprised by his inability to stay awake.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Peter shifted until he was comfortable and happily fell asleep, entering a dream about heroic pursuits against evil dragons, but Sirius didn’t move.

 

“Rem?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Can I hug you?”

 

“You’ll have to climb over James.”

 

There was a loud rustling, in which the bed squeaked and shook as one of its occupants shoved another occupant to the side and slid in the gap between him and a third occupant.

 

“Now can I hug you?”

 

Remus reached out and hugged Sirius tight in reply. Sirius let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he hugged Remus back, his back pressed comfortably against James’ side.

 

“Thank you. For the story. You’re mad, but I hope we can stop the black dragon together someday. Us and James and Peter, and maybe Lily too.”

 

“We will. I promise.”

 

*     *     *

 

Remus was gone the next night, and the sudden space in the bed was noticeable, as was the lack of stories. After the first hour of failed sleep, Sirius had suggested that they continue reading up on whatever it was Remus had.

 

“I have a theory,” Sirius announced after coming across another page on werewolves and glancing at the full moon outside their window.

 

“I doubt you’re right, but go on.”

 

“I think he might be a werewolf.”

 

James instantly threw a book straight at Sirius’ head, which Sirius only just managed to dodge.

 

“You could have killed me!” Sirius exclaimed indignantly.

 

“Seriously, you can’t possibly think Remus, of all people, is a werewolf.”

 

“You have to admit, it does make sense…” Peter’s eyes flicked from the window to Remus’ empty bed, a contemplating look on his face.

 

“Werewolves are evil! They’re wild, they’re beasts! Have you seen Remus? He wouldn’t hurt a fly!”

 

“But what else would make him disappear every single time there’s a full moon? What else can leave scars that magic can’t heal? What else can- oh,” Sirius cut himself off and his eyes widened as he remembered the way Remus seemed to always be playing with his right shoulder if Sirius’ occasional questions got too personal, or around the time that he would leave for the night, only to return battered and bruised.

 

“Oh…?” James asked, still sounding like he didn’t believe Sirius.

 

“I bet that’s where he was bitten,” Sirius breathed.

 

“You’re making no sense, Sirius!”

 

“His shoulder! He’s always trying to protect it – I bet that’s where the bite is!”

 

Peter was beginning to nod, but James shook his head violently, “There’s no way. Remus can’t possibly be a werewolf.”

 

“Why don’t we just ask him?” Peter suggested, earning him twin incredulous looks.

 

“What do you expect us to say? Hey Remus, weird question, but are you a werewolf?” James asked.

 

“What do you mean, am I a werewolf? Are you?” Sirius replied, attempting to mimic Remus’ voice.

 

“Oh come on, Remus wouldn’t say that,” Peter replied, but Sirius only shrugged.

 

“No, he’d change the topic completely. But still, there’s no point in asking him yet, he’s too good at avoiding topics. We have to read more about werewolves to make sure he really is one,” Sirius sent James a challenging stare, daring him to disagree.

 

“Fine. But I’m still not convinced.”

 

“Great. James can you talk to Professor Rust? She seems to like you. Peter, you can hit the books, if I have to go into the library one more time I think my hair might start turning lighter and I’ll start talking in long words. I’ll see if Lily knows anything about werewolves, that girl’s too smart for her own good.”

 

With their events for the next day planned out, they curled back up in bed, and one by one, they succumbed to sleep, until only Peter was awake, listening to Sirius shuffling in his sleep and James’ heavy breathing. He let out a quiet sigh as James, who was the biggest cuddler he had ever met including both his sisters, wrapped his arms around one of Peter’s as he shifted, stretching his legs over Sirius’.

 

Peter was asleep for an uncomfortable four hours when a sudden added weight on the far end of the bed woke him up. He glanced over to see Remus, blood matting his hair and a long scratch on his cheek, crawling under the covers next to Sirius, curling up against the other boy’s chest as the eldest Black unconsciously wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist. Peter’s eyes narrowed at the sight – he had always known they seemed to be close on a completely different level from their closeness to both James and Peter, but seeing them like this was completely different. Peter was tired, though, and he quickly forgot his thoughts as he fell back into a deep sleep.

 

It wasn’t long before they were all stretching and groaning and mumbling obscenities as they slowly woke up – all other than Remus, who was dead to the world until Sirius accidentally knocked him out of the bed with a particularly wild movement. Remus let out a quiet groan of pain as he landed on the floor.

 

“Remus?” Sirius’ voice was heavy with sleep as he pushed himself up onto his elbows to look over the edge of the bed and at the fallen boy.

 

In almost an instant, Sirius was suddenly crouching at his side, gazing down into Remus’ eyes, “What happened?”

 

Remus just shook his head. He tried to push himself onto his feet, but he gave up with another groan as he jostled a broken rib.

 

“James, Peter, can you distract everyone from the common room to the Hospital Wing? We need to get Remus to Pomfrey without any questions asked.”

 

James darted over to his trunk, grabbed a few pranking supplies. Peter began running down into the common room yelling bloody murder, and James quickly caught on to what Peter was doing and chased after him, pranking supplies tucked into his robes to be used in the halls.

 

Sirius gently lifted Remus, wrapping an arm around his waist while letting Remus lean heavily on his shoulder as he slowly started walking with him to the Hospital Wing. They slowly made their way down into the common room, going completely unnoticed in the commotion that James and Peter had caused, and slipped out the room, but not before hearing that apparently James and Peter had taken it on themselves to moon the entire common room and therefore cause even more chaos. As they walked through the long corridors of Hogwarts, Sirius was glad to find that James and Peter had managed to empty them. A powerful smell lingered in some areas, and when they walked down a hallway they caught the tail-end of a firework as it zoomed around the next corner, but they were thankfully empty, and no one had come to ask questions by the time they were inside the Hospital Wing.

 

“Lupin!” Pomfrey sounded equal parts angry and worried.

 

Remus finally looked up, his eyes having a hard time focussing, “Oh, hello.”

 

“Thank you, Black. Help him over to the bed in the corner.”

 

Pomfrey disappeared into her office before reappearing with a number of potions in her arms and walking straight over to Remus’ side.

 

“Will he be alright?” Sirius asked, looking down at Remus.

 

He looked worse now that there was light. The blood that matted his hair contrasted so sharply with Remus’ pale features that it made him look sickly. He looked almost devoid of life, dark circles under his eyes and a small bump along his nose where the bone there had also broken.

 

“Go to class, I can handle this.”

 

“I’m not leaving him.”

 

“I admire your loyalty, but you will only get in the way. You may stay with him after class.”

 

Sirius hid his satisfaction with a sigh as he noticed a loophole.

 

“Will he be alright?”

 

“Lupin will be fine.”

 

Satisfied, Sirius went to his first class of the day – charms. Although this was to be a practical lesson on mending charms, Sirius did his best to listen to Professor Flitwick’s every word, mentally making notes to help Remus catch up. He threw all his books into his bag as soon as Flitwick dismissed them, and with a quiet wave and very short instructions to take notes in their next classes for Remus, Sirius headed on his way to the Hospital Wing.

 

He was almost there when a heavy body slammed into him, and he would have fallen if he hadn’t stepped back into the wall behind him.

 

“Meadowes? What are you doing here?”

 

“Oh sorry, Black, I’m just… running late for class. Hey, you haven’t seen Lupin today, have you? Lily needed to ask him something – don’t ask me what it was, though, she didn’t tell me.”

 

“Last I heard he went to the Hospital Wing,” Sirius said, but instantly realised his mistake, especially when Meadowes’ looked slightly concerned about Remus despite hardly knowing him, “he’s perfectly fine, just woke up feeling a little ill. I’m sure he’ll be around later.”

 

“Oh, good. Well, I’ll tell Lily. Thanks, Black.”

 

“It’s Sirius. Black is my father. I don’t think we’ve really talked before, it’s nice to finally meet you,” Sirius sent her a friendly smile.

 

He doubted they would ever be close friends, but she was nice, and he was tired of seeing the wariness in her eyes whenever she used his family name. She was much nicer about it, if he were being honest. MacDonald seemed to never meet his eyes, while McKinnon always seemed to meet his eyes with a fiery challenge, although he suspected that was more to do with her personality than anything else.

 

“Dorcas. You’re not as bad as I thought you would be. I’ll get Marlene off your back, she can be a little overprotective. I’ll see you around, then?”

 

Sirius hid his amusement at the way she seemed to try to say as many words as she could before running out of breath. “You’re not so bad yourself. See you.”

 

Dorcas sent him a little wave as she walked off, and when Sirius slipped through the entrance to the Hospital Wing and walked over to Remus’ side, he couldn’t help but smile at his luck. He would have never made small talk with someone like Dorcas if he hadn’t been sorted into Gryffindor, never have befriended Lily and Remus and James and Peter, never known what it was like to have true friendship. Well, he could admit that he may be exaggerating, but he definitely wouldn’t have been friends with the same people.

 

“Black, I thought I said you could see him after class.”

 

“It’s after _a_ class. You never said what class.”

 

Pomfrey gave him a harsh look, but Sirius was used to receiving those looks from his mother, and instead wore a smug but completely innocent look he had perfected in return. She eventually sighed, shaking her head and muttering to herself as she walked over to inspect other patients – all in different houses and years to Sirius.

 

“Sirius?” Remus’ voice sounded weak, as if he had just woken up from a deep sleep, but it was loud enough to draw Pomfrey’s attention, and she instantly began to bustle over.

 

“Right here, Rem.”

 

As the matron forced Remus to down a Sleeping Draught, Remus stretched a hand toward Sirius, and Sirius lightly covered it with his own as Remus fell back into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what! I'm back!  
> Not sure for how long, but I'll do my best to continue writing in between school - whatever it takes, eh?

Marlene McKinnon was an enigma to all four Gryffindor first years for a variety of reasons. Remus didn’t understand how the girl could seem to have so much energy and so much rebellion in her at all hours of the day. James didn’t understand how a girl so energetic could hate Quidditch. Peter didn’t understand how she always managed to hold herself up high no matter what happened. As for Sirius, he didn’t understand why it was that on a lazy Saturday morning Marlene McKinnon herself had thrown herself into the seat that was usually occupied by Remus on Sirius’ left and asked them if they wanted to go to some rave she was organising in Hogsmead to commemorate the end of year.

 

“Who else will be there?” Remus was the first to ask, standing just behind Marlene with his eyes narrowed a little as he tried to figure out how to get to his seat.

 

“What kind of music are you going to be playing?” James asked, and would have continued into a long rant about how bad muggle music was and how good wizarding music was – despite never having heard any modern muggle music – but Peter cut in first.

 

“Who, me?” he squeaked, his eyes widening in surprise almost comically.

 

“And why the hell would I go to a party organised by someone who hates me?” was Sirius’ only question, but it must have come out less aggressively than he had intended, because McKinnon just gazed at him curiously.

 

“I don’t hate you. I just don’t trust you, even if Lily says I can.”

 

It was clear that the girl had finished saying all that she had wanted to say, but she was still sitting in Remus’ seat and eating while in Remus’ seat, and eventually Sirius shifted over as much as he could while still remaining in his seat and gestured that Remus should slip into the gap between him and McKinnon. He sent him a long-suffering look in reply but managed to squeeze into the gap, sitting half in Sirius’ lap as he reclaimed his seat. James grabbed a spare plate and passed it over to Remus, who accepted it as gracefully as he could while half-seated in Sirius’ lap before wolfing down a piece of toast.

 

Breakfast continued as normal as possible, with James and Sirius avidly discussing Quidditch while Remus cut in every so often with a witty remark and Peter with an excited but rather insightful comment about some of the gameplays James and Sirius were discussing. All four ignored McKinnon’s existence, Sirius occasionally answered Lily’s questions about the sport, Meadowes surprised all of them by muttering a contradictory opinion to MacDonald causing both James and Sirius – particularly Sirius – to roar their dissent loudly and dramatically, and Gryffindor lost ten points for their loudness due to a certain grumpy Transfigurations professor who was Definitely Not A Morning Person.

 

In fact, it was only when McKinnon stood up that anything different seemed to occur since the initial change. As McKinnon turned to walk away, shocked gasps, followed by giggles and eventually a roar of laughter from the entire table, erupted around the Great Hall as all of them took note of the bright, neon pink patch that had attached itself directly to the seat of McKinnon’s pants.

James, Sirius and Peter instantly began looking for the one who had come up with the prank, but Remus unsuccessfully hid a smile behind a mouthful of toast as he slid back into his own seat, and Sirius noted almost instantly.

 

“Rem, did you do that?!” Sirius’ exclamation was too quiet for anyone but the four boys to hear, but Remus still sent him a warning look, ruined by the smile that turned into a smirk as soon as he caught sight of his friends’ disbelief.

 

“She shouldn’t have stayed in my spot.”

 

Sirius made a delighted sound, clapping his hands together loudly as his eyes lit up in mischief and laughter, but James grinned conspiratorially, “Why Remus, I was starting to think you only used that big brain of yours to study!”

 

“Careful, James, your brain might explode from the novelty of thinking.”

 

“No, no, you aren’t going to get away with a witty comment! Peter, back me up here!”

 

“I don’t think so, you stole the last of my mum’s cookies yesterday,” Peter replied, rolling his eyes in Remus’ direction.

 

“I needed them, I had to sit through an entire detention with Professor McGonagall that afternoon!”

 

Sirius, for his part, stayed mostly quiet as James and Peter restarted an argument they had already had the night before, exchanging a mischievous wink with Remus as he wondered how he could use this incident against Remus in the next few pranks that they tried out.

 

*     *     *

 

Remus would never admit it, but despite his constant complaints of getting distracted by his friends and his insistence on being able to do things by himself, he hated being alone. He had been alone for the majority of his childhood, studying by himself with only his parents for company, and he had grown so accustomed to being alone that at first even being friends with just Sirius and Lily was overwhelming. It was only really at times like these, when Remus tucked himself into a corner of the library to finish a transfiguration assignment knowing full well that the other boys were out staging some sort of elaborate prank and ignoring all of their homework, that he had the burning feeling of what he finally understood was loneliness.

 

He sighed, trying to push the feeling away and focus instead on his essay, but he knew already that it was a lost cause, that it had been a lost cause as soon as his mind had strayed to thoughts of his friends.

 

He glanced out the small window next to him, squinting in the afternoon sun’s glare as he tried to see what was happening out on the Hogwarts grounds. He recognised, even from this distance, McKinnon, Meadowes and MacDonald congregating around a stone fountain, McKinnon sitting precariously on the stone rim while Meadowes simply leaned comfortably against the side and MacDonald lay down in the soft grass next to them. James, Sirius and Peter were either too far away to be seen or were on the other side of the castle, but Remus knew that they were all probably also doing the same thing.

 

He turned back to his essay, the words swimming in his vision, and he was about to give up on his essay for the day when someone fell into the seat next to him with a loud sound of relief and slammed a book down on the table he’d been using in an almost aggressive manner.

 

“I hope you don’t mind, Remus, but all the other tables are full.”

 

Remus smiled up at the red-haired girl, shuffling a few of his notes into order to let her spread her own notes on the other side of the table.

 

“Everything ok?”

 

Lily hesitated for a moment before shrugging, “it’s nothing, just Marlene being Marlene. She went through my trunk without asking me to try find… Anyway, it’s no big deal, really, I just thought she’d have the decency to ask first.”

 

“You’re lucky you don’t share a dorm with Sirius and Peter, Sirius doesn’t like that my trunk is messy and if I don’t watch out any sweets I have get stolen by Peter. I’ve come back to the dorm to find my trunk has been ransacked at least once a week.”

 

“Why don’t you just tell them to buzz off?”

 

“You think they’d listen? Anyway, it doesn’t really bother me that much, because Peter always hides his sweets in the same spot and Sirius’ organising really does help me find things.”

 

Lily looked amused, but instead of continuing the conversation she just turned to look at her own essay – charms, from what Remus could see – and began chewing on her lip as she tried to figure out how to continue the twelve-inch long essay they had been assigned.

 

The silence stretched on for a few moments as Lily’s quill scratched words in careful but messy writing on the parchment while Remus’ quill stayed mostly stationary, poised over the paper as he scanned his notes on the levitating charm.

 

“Can I, uh, ask you something?” Lily asked suddenly after a small hesitation.

 

Remus looked up wondering what she was going to ask him. He couldn’t remember the last time that James had annoyed her, as he was prone to do with his casual arrogance, so there wasn’t much she could ask because of them, and she had long stopped asking why he was friends with someone as arrogant as James, and she had one of the best overall grades in all her subjects, so she couldn’t be asking him for help in a class. Not being able to think of anything else she might ask him about, he nodded warily.

 

Lily looked around her, making sure that no one was listening in or even paying attention to their conversation before leaning forward to whisper quietly in Remus’ ear.

 

“Are you a werewolf?”

 

Remus froze where he was sitting. Questions buzzed inside his head as he tried to comprehend what she had just asked him. How had she found out? How could he have been so obvious that she would find out? How could she sit so calmly and wait for his response when she finally knew the monster that he was?

 

Without a second glance at her, he got up and sprinted out of the library, ignoring Madam Pince’s outrage as he breezed out of the doors. He didn’t know where he was going, he just knew that he had to leave. Had to find someplace where he could think. It was only when he ran straight into someone and fell over with a crash that he realised where he was.

 

He looked up, an apology on his lips only to fade when he met cold, penetrating eyes framed by oily dark hair.

 

“Lupin,” Snape’s voice held so much contempt Remus wondered if he, too, knew of Remus’ condition.

 

“Snape,” Remus was surprised at how steady his voice sounded.

 

He slowly got to his feet, adjusting his robe and subtly checking his sleeve for his wand. His mind was still racing, but with an effort he hid it behind a cautiously polite mask.

 

“You should watch where you’re going – especially when your cronies aren’t around.”

 

Remus forced himself to look bored, “I can take care of myself, thanks.”

 

Snape cast his gaze slowly, judgementally, over Remus’ shabby robes and the fraying muggle jeans he wore, “Of course you can.”

 

Remus saw the wand just before a hex shot out the end, and it was only his quick reflexes that saved him from being hit. Snape was about to cast another hex when a flash of red light shot past Remus and hit Snape in the chest, sending his wand flying out of his hand and into the hand of a furious looking Sirius Black.

 

“Look Jamesie, it’s Snivellus,” Sirius had a dangerous, manic glint in his eye as he spoke, and James looked wary as he stood shoulder to shoulder with Sirius.

 

“Guess we have his wand too, now.”

 

“Where do you think we should put this wand, eh James?” Sirius still looked deadly, and Remus stood up snatching the wand out of Sirius’ hand and throwing it back at Snape, ignoring Sirius’ sound of annoyance.

 

Snape looked like he was about to comment when Remus glanced at him, keeping his voice carefully controlled as he spoke.

 

“I would recommend leaving while you still can.”

 

Snape glanced at Sirius’ drawn wand which pointed directly at him, James’ wand which was now out and by his side, Peter who had squeezed into the space between them and had his hand on his concealed wand, and Remus, who stood in front of the three with a calm coolness that was more than a little unnerving.

 

“Ah but of course, poor Loony Lupin needs his blood-traitor friends to back him up,” Snape said before turning away, his head held high.

 

James’ eyes narrowed and Sirius growled, but before he could take a step forward Remus quietly pulled his wand out and muttered _incendio_ at Snape’s retreating back, setting the back of his robes on fire and watching him run away with a quiet squeal.

 

“You alright, mate?” James asked, slinging an arm around Remus’ shoulders.

 

Sirius hugged Remus from the other side, muttering, “Why did you leave the library?”

 

Peter just shared a look with Remus as he took the lead and together walked through the corridors and back out onto the grounds of Hogwarts, with its soft grass and spring flowers and the sounds of the rippling black lake. Remus easily followed, all thoughts of Lily and her question forgotten for the moment.

 

*     *     *

‘ _Petrificus totalus!’_

Remus felt his arms snap to his sides and his legs lock as he fell face first onto the hard, stone floor of the Gryffindor common room. His breathing, already fast from running up stairs, quickened as he heard steps approaching him.

 

“Sorry, Remus, I really didn’t want to do this, but you just kept running away,” Lily was suddenly at his side, rolling him over without removing the full body-bind.

 

With a small swish and flick of her wand he found himself levitating out of the common room and through dark corridors into an empty classroom. It was past curfew, so they managed to avoid meeting anyone on the way, but Lily still fretted a little over the possibility of being caught out late.

 

She set Remus down on one of the class tables with another flick of her wand, and pulled up a chair next to him.

 

“Sorry, are you ok?” Lily asked, but Remus was unable to reply even if he had wanted to and Lily soon realised her mistake when Remus didn’t say anything.

 

“Ok Remus, we have to talk about this, ok? You’ve avoided me for almost the entire weekend and I know you think it’s the right thing to do but I’m your friend, you can’t just avoid me like that.”

 

Lily paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. Remus watched her carefully, unable to do anything else under the body-bind Lily had placed on him. He was of half a mind to not listen to whatever she wanted to say - the rejection would already hurt him enough, he didn’t need to hear her go on about how he was a monster, he already knew it anyway – but in an almost masochistic fashion he simply continued to listen, hoping that it would be over soon, knowing that his secret was out and soon the entire school would know and he’d be asked to leave forever.

 

“I’m guessing I was right. You are a werewolf.”

 

Remus screwed his eyes shut, preparing himself for the rejection.

 

“You know, I read a little about werewolves. Most of the books say that even when they’re humans they’re monsters. That they’re killers and murderers and kidnappers.”

 

Remus flinched.

 

“I think they’re wrong.”

 

If Remus hadn’t been held down by a full body-bind with all of the power of Lily Evans behind it, he would have shot up in surprise. As it was, he opened his eyes to stare at her incredulously.

 

“You’re not a killer or a murderer or a kidnapper. You’re not even a bully. You’re one of the nicest people I know. So what if once a month you turn into the Big Bad Wolf. I don’t think you’ve ever killed anyone, or we’d all know about it, and I’m sure most of the teachers know, or you wouldn’t have been able to go Hogwarts in the first place, so if you’re not a monster when you’re human, then the books have to be wrong.”

 

Lily had clearly said all that she wanted to say, and turned to look back at Remus, waiting for a response that wouldn’t come unless she released him. Once again, it took her a while to understand why he wasn’t responding, but quickly removed the bind on him, letting him sit up suddenly and quickly.

 

“I’m dangerous, Lily. You don’t understand that, you grew up in the muggle world where werewolves are mostly just a far-fetched fantasy. You don’t understand how dangerous werewolves really are.”

 

Lily was silent for a moment.

 

“Do you want to kill me?”

 

Remus turned to look at her, startled, “Of course not!”

 

“Eat me?”

 

“Lily, I don’t want to hurt you! Ever! That’s what you don’t understand! If you stay friends with me, I can’t promise that I won’t ever hurt you!”

 

“What about everyone else? Mary? Marlene? Dorcas? Peter? James? _Sirius_?”

 

“I don’t want to hurt anyone! But I can’t promise that I won’t hurt anyone! Don’t you see that?”

 

Something akin to anger flashed in Lily’s eyes, but it was quickly suppressed, “If you don’t want to hurt anyone, Remus, then I don’t think you’re a monster. You’re as human as the rest of us.”

 

“Try telling that to people like Sirius’ family,” Remus muttered quietly.

“Is that why you kept it a secret? Because of prejudiced idiots?”

 

“Powerful prejudiced idiots who would kill me if I so much as put one toe out of line.”

 

“Well, for whatever it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a monster, and I’d like us to still be friends, and I promise not to tell anyone, ok?”

 

Lily held up her pinky, a small, childish smile on her face. Remus hesitated for a moment, but eventually linked his own pinky with hers, an equally childish smile tugging unbidden at the edge of his lips.

 

“Pinky promise?” Remus asked her, a hint of amusement in his voice.

 

“Pinky promises are sacred bonds of trust,” was all Lily said.

 

He let go of Lily’s pinky and pulled her into a hug.

 

“I think you’re mental, but thank you for still being my friend.”

 

Lily just smiled at him and lightly punched his shoulder before standing up.

 

“Are you going to tell James, Peter and Sirius?”

 

Remus winced, “Three purebloods with years of family prejudice behind them? Not likely.”

 

“Right. Well, we should probably get back to the common room before a prefect catches us out past curfew.”

 

Remus let her lead the way back to the Gryffindor common room, not convinced she truly understood what it meant for him to be a werewolf but glad for her acceptance all the same.


	17. Chapter 17

_I’m bored_.

 

Remus almost laughed out loud in the middle of Transfiguration at Sirius’ note.

 

 _What do you want me to do about it_?

 

It took Sirius less than a second to reply.

 

 _Entertain me_.

 

Remus chewed on his bottom lip thoughtfully before he began to pen a short limerick about Sirius himself.

 

_There once was a boy named Black,_

_McGonagall never gave him some slack,_

_He got into strife,_

_With James Potter’s wife,_

_And now all he does is quack._

 

The small illustration Sirius returned surprised Remus more than it probably should have. Not because of the drawing, what Sirius had drawn was almost expected, but the skill with which Sirius had carefully inked and smudged precise lines that made the image so much more alive than Remus had thought it were possible for just a scribbled note, even with a charm animating it.

 

Which Remus should probably do something about, because the image of Sirius with a beak was now trying to eat the J in James’ name.

 

_Are you less bored now?_

_Yes. No. Your poetry is only funny for so long._

 

_What do you want me to do then? Dance in a hula skirt on McGonagall’s desk?_

 

_I have no idea what odd muggle contraption a hula skirt is but I fully support this idea._

_On the very, very last day of school, when we’re in seventh year and she can’t get mad at us and give us detentions because she’ll never see us again, we should all dance in a hula skirt on McGonagall’s desk._

_And it will be glorious._

 

Remus smiled and tucked the note into his pocket, careful not to smudge the ink.

 

Another note soon found itself on his desk, and he opened it carefully, not sure if he trusted Sirius enough to continue the conversation normally.

 

 _But really, what the hell is a hula skirt_.

 

Remus laughed so hard McGonagall took away ten points from Gryffindor.

 

*     *     *

 

Remus and Sirius were huddled together on the couch playing a game of chess when Lily sat down next to Remus and curled up against him, hugging her knees to her chest.

 

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, halfway through ordering a knight to B5.

 

The knight happily smashed Remus’ pawn, sending broken stone all over the chess board.

 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lily muttered.

 

Remus put an arm around her shoulders in a slightly awkward hug as he ordered a queen to C3, smashing one of Sirius’ pawns and sending more broken stone flying across the board.

 

“You should have probably sent the bishop to take Sirius’ rook instead,” Lily suggested, but her suggestion was met with only the sound of smashing rock as a bishop decapitated a knight.

 

“Perhaps,” Remus said as he sent a pawn a square forwards, prodding the piece when it seemed to disagree with his choice move.

 

“Where’s James and Peter?” Lily asked, quickly getting bored with the game of wizard chess they were playing.

 

“They’re sleeping. Something about Quidditch and Witch’s Weekly. It’s always best not to question it,” Sirius’ reply was oddly subdued, but he wore a small amused smile, and Lily decided not to question it.

 

“What’s the Witch’s Weekly?” Lily asked, and was surprised to hear Remus giggle softly as Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

 

“It’s the wizarding version of muggle women’s gossip magazines. You know, who’s dating who, how to catch a guy, what make-up girls should wear,” Remus did his best to explain, unable to conceal quiet giggles.

 

“James reads those?!”

 

“He denies it, but I found some hidden under his bed. Don’t tell him I saw them,” Sirius was grinning now, and Lily couldn’t help but grin back.

 

“We should get out of here,” Remus said quietly, and Lily agreed almost instantly but Sirius looked appalled.

 

“We’re in the middle of a game of chess!”

 

“So?”

 

“So sit back down and let me beat you.”

 

“Why are you so sure that you’ll beat me?”

 

“Because QUEEN TO E7 CHECK YOUR FACE, REM!”

 

Remus laughed as the queen marched royally to the place on the board.

 

“My rook has built catapults which kill your king. Game over, I win,” Remus replied with a completely straight face, only starting to laugh when all the chess pieces echoed Sirius’ dramatic look of betrayal.

 

“Remus, I thought we were friends! How could you do this to me, foul fiend!”

 

“Foul fiend I may beest, but thou art a clotpole” Remus replied monotonely, making Lily burst out laughing while Sirius looked even more comically betrayed.

 

“Where did you learn to speak like my family ghosts from the 16th century?!”

 

“Where doth thee bethink I learned? From books, of course. Thou art an illiterate sheep-biting barnacle.”

 

“Wait what did you just call me?”

 

“Thee hath heard me!”

 

Lily was clutching her sides with laughter by now, and as Sirius launched himself at Remus and tackled Remus off the couch and onto the floor. All hints of whatever had made Lily upset had left her face, and Remus and Sirius shared a small smile at their success.

 

“Come on, let’s get out of here, the common room’s boring,” Sirius said, grinning as he slung an arm around Lily’s shoulders and began leading the way out of the common room, Remus trailing behind them, a look of good-natured grumpiness on his face.

 

“Spleeny half-faced miscreant,” he muttered with a small smile as he followed.

 

“What was that Rem?”

 

“Sorry? Could you repeat that? I’m not fluent in idiot.”

 

“Remus…”

 

“You two are like an old married couple. Can we please go outside now?” Lily interrupted, looking amused.

 

Sirius did his best to swoon into Remus’ arms, but Remus did nothing to try catching him, and Sirius fell onto the ground with a thud.

 

“This calls for a divorce! You’re such a horrible husband, Remus, how could you not catch me and carry me to your chambers and shower me with rose petals?”

 

Remus stepped purposefully over Sirius and grabbed Lily’s elbow, beginning to walk away from where Sirius still lay on the floor.

 

“Oi! Husband! And Red Head Lady! Come help me up.”

 

“The divorce cannot happen quickly enough,” Remus said to Lily in the solemnest tone he could manage, earning himself another exclamation from Sirius and another burst of laughter from Lily.

 

Sirius squeezed himself into the gap between Remus and Lily with a mutter of “asshole” before sprinting forwards and announcing the beginning of a race. With a shrug, Lily and Remus took off after him, Lily surprisingly fast for her smaller size and beating both boys while Sirius, who had a head start in the first place, found himself losing – or winning in reverse, depending on who you ask.

 

They made their way out to the Black Lake, sitting comfortably near the edge of the water. Remus leaned comfortably against a tree, Sirius stretching out comfortably on his lap with an arm wrapped around Remus’ shoulders. Lily leaned into Remus’ side, a smile on her face as all three talked about everything and nothing. Sirius asked Lily what a hula skirt was at one point, but Remus begged her not to tell the inquisitive boy and with a bright laugh she only commented that Sirius may never know.

 

Their comfortable conversation was interrupted by a blonde girl sporting a bright, mischievous grin.

 

“Lily! I had the best idea!”

 

“Oh no,” Lily muttered.

 

Marlene grabbed Lily’s arm and tried to drag her away from Sirius and Remus, but almost in unison both boys grabbed hold of Lily, pressing her a little too close to Remus as they tried to fend off Marlene’s attack.

 

“What do you want, McKinnon?” Sirius’ voice held an odd note to Remus’ ears, almost as if he wasn’t sure where he stood with her.

 

Marlene looked down at Sirius as if seeing him there for the first time.

 

“None of your business. Come on, Lily, it’ll be fun!”

 

“I don’t want to help you stage a riot with the Slytherins,” Lily replied, suddenly looking tired, “and I can’t be bothered moving.”

 

“Why are we staging a riot with the Slytherins?” Sirius asked, sitting up a little.

 

“No one’s staging a riot with anyone. Unless you want to stage a riot with the Slytherins, then I’m in. No, Lily, Mary got new make-up and I was thinking we should all have a girls’ night.”

 

“It’s four in the afternoon, Marlene. And even if it were night, I’m not a Barbie, I don’t want to get all painted up and pretty just for the hell of it.”

 

The short argument that ensued between the two girls was interrupted by Sirius stage-whispering into Remus’ ear, “You know, I’ve always thought girls could be odd, but Merlin I never imagined this.”

 

Remus laughed at Sirius’ words while Marlene took up an affronted look and Lily seemed mostly amused.

 

“I’ll have you know, girls can do anything you can do better.”

 

“I can do anything you can do better, I can do anything better than you,” Remus sang quietly, sounding amused.

 

“No you can’t!” Lily sang back emphatically, grinning widely.

 

“Yes I can!”

 

“No you can’t!”

 

“Yes I can!”

 

“No you can’t!”

 

“Yes I can, yes I can!”

 

Lily high-fived Remus as they both broke off into giggles while Sirius and Marlene watched them with twin looks of confusion.

 

“I’m guessing that’s some muggle thing?” Sirius asked, making Lily and Remus laugh more as understanding came across Marlene’s face.

 

“One day, Sirius, we’ll show you Broadway and then you’ll understand,” Lily said after she had calmed down a little, “I didn’t expect you to know Broadway musicals, though, Remus!”

 

“My mum loves them. We used to go to the theatre every month when I was younger.”

 

Lily smiled and leaned closer to Remus and Sirius, looking happy and content.

 

“McKinnon, do you know what a hula skirt is?” Sirius asked suddenly, and Remus and Lily both began shaking their heads at her, but the girl looked as confused as before.

 

“No clue. Clearly some muggle thing. I thought you grew up in the wizarding world, Remus.”

 

“What’s it to you which world I grew up in?”

 

“Nothing, I just assumed-“

 

“You assumed wrong.”

 

Marlene fell silent, and Lily was quick to fill the silence by asking Remus about other muggle musicals, names like West Side Story and The Sound Of Music and Mary Poppins and The Four Musketeers thrown around in their conversation that Sirius and Marlene had no chance to follow at all. In fact, it was only when they mentioned The Jungle Book that Sirius suddenly remembered his Christmas stay at Remus’, the day spent huddled around the little box that showed moving pictures and played sound, and he finally understood the conversation once again.

 

“Why are we talking about the loud muggle pictures?” Sirius asked, and Lily turned to look at him wide-eyed.

 

“Heresy!”

 

“Blasphemy!” Remus added.

 

“Uh, what?” Marlene asked, looking confused.

 

“Those ‘loud muggle pictures’ were what I grew up with! And they’re called films,” Lily said, readjusting herself against Remus’ shoulder and letting her long red hair swing down, lightly tickling Sirius’ nose as its momentum carried it forwards.

 

“Why is your hair so ridiculously long?! Isn’t it awkward? Doesn’t it get in the way? Isn’t it heavy to be carting around all that extra hair?” Sirius’ outburst was interrupted by Lily’s soft giggles as she reached out to run her hands through Sirius’ hair quickly, before he could complain or move away.

 

“You can’t say anything, your hair is also getting long. Besides, I can put my hair up in buns and plaits and braids so it doesn’t get in the way,” Lily said, and sat up to twist her hair into an incredibly messy bun on the back of her head, using the band on her wrist that Sirius had previously assumed to just be jewellery to keep it in place, “See?”

 

Sirius just gazed at her thoughtfully as she untangled the hair tie from her hair, cursing a little when it got stuck on a knot.

 

“Isn’t that painful?”

 

“Usually I brush my hair before trying to do anything with it, so it doesn’t have any knots in it.”

 

“How don’t you know these things? Have you never seen anyone putting their hair up?” Marlene asked, looking at Sirius a little curiously.

 

“Uh… No? Most of my relatives don’t leave their rooms until they look perfect, especially girls, and Remus’ mum has short hair so she can’t put her hair up even if she wanted to.”

 

“She has a pixie cut. It’s gross.” Remus cut in.

 

“Your mum’s cool!”

 

Remus and Sirius shared an amused glance. Marlene stood up with a prolonged sigh, looking bored and announced that she was going to the common room before walking off, leaving the trio alone.

 

“Hey Lils…” Sirius began after a moment of silence, and waited for Lily to gesture that he should continue before asking, “I know you didn’t want to talk about it, but is there anything we could do to help?”

 

Lily sighed, running a hand through her long red hair, “No. You can’t change my sister.”

 

Sirius immediately bristled up defensively, and was about to suggest sending her an envelope full of itching powder when Remus put a firm hand on his shoulder and sent him a warning look.

 

“I’m sorry, Lily, I know we can’t change your sister, but we can be your brothers instead…?” Remus asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and drawing her closer to him, and she rested her head on Sirius’ shoulder from where he sat in Remus’ lap.

 

“Yeah, Lils! Tell her your brothers will beat her up if she keeps bullying you!”

 

“Thanks, Sirius. And you too, Remus. I’d love to have brothers like you.”

 

Sirius grinned, ruffling her hair much to her chagrin.

 

“You know that’s not quite what I meant, Siri-“

 

“Shut up, you almost hit my mother. You can’t say anything Mr I’m-Not-Aggressive-I-Just-Punch-People-In-The-Face.”

 

“Remus! Did you actually try to hit Sirius’ mother?”

 

“I got so close, too. If it hadn’t been for James-“

 

“You would be dead right now. How many times do I have to tell you that my mother will skin you alive if you do anything?!”

 

“She can definitely try, but she’s doomed to fail.”

 

Lily chuckled at Remus’ light-hearted response, nuzzling closer to both Remus and Sirius, “You’re both absurd.”

 

“I prefer ridiculously impressive,” Sirius replied easily.

 

“Yeah, but you’re just impressively ridiculous when all is said and done,” Remus replied.

 

“Hey Lily, is my hair long enough to be plaited do you think?” Sirius asked out of the blue.

 

Lily turned to look at the boy. He had always had fairly long hair, but it had grown to be shoulder length and tussled artfully over the past year.

 

Lily got to her feet, saying in a voice that broached no argument, “Get up, I want to try plaiting your hair. Remus, did you want to learn how to braid hair too?”

 

“Uh, sure?”

 

“Then come on! We’ve got work to do!”

 

Lily began marching across the castle back in the direction of the Gryffindor Common Room, followed by Sirius, who was bouncing in anticipation, and Remus, who simply followed with an amused smile on his face and a twinkle of good-natured mischief in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While you're waiting for the next chapter, feel free to read Operation Lark, a modern AU I wrote a while ago about Prongsfoot's modern day, non-magical shenanigans!  
> (Shameless self-promotion ^_^)


	18. Chapter 18

The night of the full moon – the last one for the year - was worse than Remus had gotten used to, although he wasn’t sure he could pinpoint why. Lily had walked with him down to the Hospital Wing now that she knew about him, but she hid behind a pillar when Madam Pomfrey came to take him to where he transformed and had almost immediately gone back to the common room, where Sirius and Peter were sitting together, huddled over a small book which turned out to be one of James’ Witch’s Weekly magazines.   
   
“Where’s Remus?” Sirius asked as she approached, but she just shrugged.   
   
“He went home for a while, said his uncle got dragonpox,” Lily replied, hating that she had to lie to Sirius although she understood that it was necessary.   
   
“His family falls ill a lot, don’t they?” Sirius asked, careful not to meet Lily’s gaze, “Or maybe he’s lying about going to his family.”   
   
Sirius stared challengingly at Lily, and Lily felt a shiver run down her spine as she looked into those storm-grey eyes realised that Sirius had a very good idea of what was going on, and knew that Lily could confirm his suspicions.   
   
“I’m sure Remus would tell us if he thought he could,” was Lily’s only careful response.   
   
Sirius sighed, going back to drawing a rather good likeness of a pigeon perched on the head of a witch who was winking flirtatiously at them.   
   
“Hey, he said he should be back by morning, there’s no point in staying here and not going to sleep.”   
   
“I don’t think I can sleep right now,” Sirius muttered, reflecting Lily’s own thoughts.   
   
“Well, I’m going up because while I’m sure you two are very capable of staying up all night I actually like my sleep. I’ll shove this under James’ bed, Sirius,” Peter grabbed the magazine just as he had finished casting an animating charm on the picture and another much more complex charm that allowed the drawn picture to roam wherever it wanted throughout the magazine – as well as giving it the ability to leave a bunch of droppings wherever it went.   
   
“Are you going to stay up here all night?” Lily asked Sirius, earning herself a shrug.   
   
“I know you know.”   
   
Lily sighed, taking Peter’s spot on the couch and leaning back against the couch, “Don’t ask me to tell you, I promised Remus I wouldn’t say anything.”   
   
“Can you tell me if he’s alright?”   
   
“He didn’t want to talk about it a lot, and he said could die from it, but he says he’s as ok as he can be.”   
   
Sirius sighed, leaning against Lily’s side, “I wished he trusted me enough to tell me. Obviously he trusts you more than me.”   
   
“He didn’t tell me, I, uh, put him in a full body-bind and forced him to listen to me talk.”   
   
“What the hell Lily?!”   
   
“That was his reaction, too, after the shock and then sulking wore off.”   
   
“You’re incredible.”   
   
“I know.”   
   
“You’re also beautiful and smart and talented and-“   
   
“What do you want Sirius?”   
   
“Can I braid your hair?”   
   
Lily groaned, “Are you going to get my hair into a tangled knot again?”   
   
“That was one time! And I didn’t have a hairbrush!”   
   
“Yeah, and it’s the only time you ever tried braiding my hair. You know what? Fine. I’m going to go get my hairbrush, don’t move.”   
   
“Woohoo!”   
   
Lily hurried up the stairs to her dorm, creeping in quietly to avoid waking up Marlene, Dorcas and Mary, grabbing the brush that was sticking out her trunk before tiptoeing out the door, letting it click behind her quietly. She was soon sitting down beside Sirius, handing him the brush and startling him out of his thoughts in the process.   
   
"What're you thinking so hard about?"   
   
Sirius said nothing, turning instead to take a swipe at Lily's hair with the brush, making her let out an indignant shriek which would have normally sent all the blood rushing into her face if anyone but Sirius had still been in the room. As it was, Lily snatched the brush out of his hands and demonstrated a few strokes of the brush in her own hair before surrendering it to Sirius with an amused chuckle. Sirius began quietly brushing her hair, soon falling into a soothing rhythm as the long red strands untangled and formed a shawl around her shoulders.   
   
"I'm going to let my hair get long," Sirius said quietly after a moment.   
   
"Your hair is already pretty long."   
   
Sirius shook his head, and reached out to run his fingers through the hair that hung nearly to her waist, "I'm going to let my hair grow as long as yours."   
   
Lily turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised, "Won't your mother not like it?"   
   
Sirius shrugged, "I don't care, but Lucius Malfoy also wears his hair fairly long, so as long as I don't try to make it look pretty around mother, she shouldn't care."   
   
Lily reached out and gently stilled Sirius' hand in her hair, her fingers gentle, "I know you're lying. I know you care."   
   
"It doesn't matter. Mother already thinks I'm a blood traitor. She won't ever change her mind, and I'm not going to listen to her say rubbish about wizards and witches like you and Remus."   
   
"Like Remus and I?"   
   
"Mudbl- muggleborns and half-bloods, sorry."   
   
Lily was quiet for a moment, but when Sirius refused to continue talking she spoke up again, "I thought you were going to braid my hair?"   
   
Sirius instantly jumped to life, his fingers carefully splitting her hair into three relatively equal sections and carefully beginning to coax them into a long red plait. They were both silent as he braided, the silence only being broken when Sirius carefully wrapped a hair-tie around the bottom of the braid and threw the braid over her shoulder with a small flourish.   
   
"How does it look?! Does the great Lily Evans approve of my braiding?!"   
   
Lily inspected the braid that rested on her shoulder, running her hands over the sections she couldn't see all the way to the back of her head, wincing a little as she felt the uneven nature of the braid.   
   
"You've got to remember to pull them all with the same tightness, or the braid looks a bit lumpy. But it's passable."   
   
Sirius let out a small whoop of joy, sending Lily into a small laughing fit as she muttered about how ridiculous he was.   
   
Lily began brushing Sirius' hair, momentarily taken aback by how many knots she encountered until she remembered that Sirius, Remus, James and Peter seemed to always be involved in one play-fight or another – particularly James and Sirius. After some expert attacking, however, his hair became much more manageable, and Lily even found herself a little jealous of his thick, dark hair that seemed so pretty so effortlessly.   
   
"Do you want me to just braid your hair or do something else?"   
   
"Do whatever you think will make me look pretty."   
   
Lily hesitated for a moment before beginning to carefully make a loose side braid over his left ear.   
   
The last time Sirius had had someone braid his hair – the very first time, too – Remus had been rather hesitant, constantly asking Lily if he was braiding it correctly and doing his best not to hurt Sirius as he braided. Lily's fingers in his hair felt completely different – firm and steady, as if they knew what they were doing, with just the right amount of gentleness to not hurt Sirius too much but not afraid of tugging his hair into the right spot. At the time, Remus had managed to produce quite a solid plain braid despite running out of hair very quickly, but Lily was efficiently twisting his hair into an elegant braid with deft fingers, her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth with concentration.   
   
"Hey Lils, what's your family like?"   
   
"Which family? You already know about my sister."   
   
"Yeah, but what about your parents? And your uncles and aunts and cousins! Do you have those too?"   
   
"Mum's a florist, and flowers are on almost everything she makes, and she makes the best apple crumble you have ever tasted. Dad's a pharmaceutical scientist– that's kind of like a potions master, I guess, but for muggle medicine. They met at a wedding reception – mum was bringing the flowers, dad was the best man. He asked her out to coffee in his best man speech and they've been together since. Mum refuses to get married though – says she won't until Uncle Riley has the right to marry Uncle Tyler. Riley is mum's older brother – he's a great dancer at parties but only if he's drunk. Tyler's real name isn't Tyler, but no one but Riley knows his real name and not even Riley calls him that. I think you'd like Tyler – mum said he's a bit of a black sheep in his family. Dad has two sisters, Shannon and Ella. Ella is six years older than me and has really pretty bright blue hair – she's really cool. She and Tyler are in a small band together – it's how Tyler and Riley met. We don't see Shannon a lot, she moved to Argentina with Uncle Silverio and my two cousins, Esteban and Raphael, but whenever she does come she takes Ella, Petunia and I for a girls’ day out. Esteban and Raphael, last time I saw them were a bit annoying. Esteban thinks he knows everything and Raphael's always too busy drawing to talk to anyone, but I guess they’re ok.”   
   
Sirius listened to Lily as she continued to talk about her family avidly, only interrupting when she mentioned a muggle word he didn’t understand. He heard her tell stories about shenanigans Tyler and Ella would get up to at family gatherings and times when Raphael got into trouble for being antisocial, and once when Riley and Tyler had been dancing and knocked over a Christmas tree and about Shannon’s habit of speaking Spanish when angry or drunk. He heard about the movies, where they showed the loud moving pictures and about the theatre, where muggles watched other muggles perform, and about rock concerts and art galleries and museums and shopping malls and amusement parks, and he couldn't help but wish that he led such an exciting life, to have stories about family that didn't involve elaborate plans for his betrothal or hidden political agendas, to have been out of the house just for fun at least once. 

 

“Sirius?! Are you ok?! Why are you crying?!” 

 

Sirius just shook his head and, after making sure she had finished braiding his hair, turned to bury his face in her shoulder. 

 

“What's wrong?” 

 

Sirius said nothing, just held tight onto her, and after a moment she returned his hug, muttering quietly about how many events they were going to go to together, all of the theatre productions she wanted him and Remus to see, all the bands they could go see play, all the galleries they would visit together. They fell asleep still hugging each other as the darkest part of the night set in, as the stars encased the flowers in a warm glow. 

 

   
*     *     * 

 

Sirius woke up with an elbow to the face as Lily, still half-asleep, tried to stretch her limbs. 

 

“What in Merlin’s name-” were his first words that morning, followed by a sudden screech of surprise as the half-asleep girl accidentally shoved him off the side of the couch. 

 

“Oi! Lily! Watch it!” 

 

Sleepy green eyes suddenly appeared over the side of the couch, peering down at Sirius. 

 

“Sirius? What are you doing on the floor?” 

 

“You pushed me off!” 

 

The green eyes drifted shut as she murmured an unintelligible reply before suddenly shooting open, “Sirius?!” 

 

“Yeah, yeah, it's me. Do you know what time it is?” 

 

Lily shook her head, “Late enough for there to be light outside and for fifth years to be studying for their OWLs?” 

 

“You are no help whatsoever. Do you think Remus is back yet?” 

 

“I don't know, but we can go check the Hospital Wing anyway?” 

 

Sirius leapt up off the floor, making Lily chuckle lightly as she too got up, stretching out and letting every joint in her body click into place as she did so. 

 

“You look pretty with your hair up like that.” 

 

“Can I look at my hair before we go to the Hospital Wing? It’ll give Remus some more time to get there if it's too early, too.” 

 

Sirius was sprinting up to the bathroom he shared with James, Peter and Remus before Lily could say anything. 

 

He stopped short in front of the mirror, peering curiously into the glass. Lily had braided either side of his hair into a loose braid leaving the majority of the hair unbraided towards the end, where she had clipped it into place on the back of his head, making the ends seem to disappear into the rest of his hair. He carefully ran a hand along either braid, a small smile growing into a brilliant bright grin as he posed in front of the mirror in the exact opposite to what his mother would have liked him to pose, and nodded to himself in the mirror before sprinting back down to Lily’s side and hugging her happily. 

 

“Thank you! Also, now you have to teach me your ways. It's so pretty!” Sirius continued complimenting her braiding as they began walking to the Hospital Wing, only stopping when they walked straight in to the infirmary and without a single word to Pomfrey, who had instantly begun shooing then, sat down next to the bed where Remus lay, bleeding and bruised. 

 

Sirius heard Lily take in a deep breath before turning to look at Pomfrey, her voice carefully controlled as she asked if Remus was ok. Sirius, however, found he was unable to speak. 

 

Red, blue and green formed a sickening rainbow on Remus’ skin, making him seem almost sickly as he lay, barely breathing, his eyes shut tight. 

 

“Remus?” Sirius asked quietly, tuning out the sounds of Lily arguing with the Pomfrey about where exactly she thought she and Sirius should be. 

 

“Sirius?” 

 

Sirius felt his heart leap into his throat at how frail Remus’ voice sounded. 

 

“Hey, Rem. You look like you had one hell of a night.” 

 

Remus’ responding laugh sounded more like a hacking cough, and the boy winced almost as soon as the sound fell from his lips. 

 

“That's one way to put it.” 

 

“Is there anything I can do?” 

 

“Can you come around this side of the bed?” 

 

Sirius carefully made his way to the other side of the bed, still paying no mind to Madam Pomfrey. 

 

“I'm right her-” Sirius began, only to cut himself off when a pair of battered arms wrapped themselves around his middle so tightly he thought he might stop breathing. 

 

“What day is it?” Remus asked quietly, not loosening his grip on Sirius’ waist. 

 

“Saturday.” 

 

“Can you stay?” 

 

Sirius looked up from Remus to ask Pomfrey for permission, but Lily had managed to argue so much that Pomfrey had disappeared into her office for the moment, and so Sirius quickly slid under the covers next to the boy, not caring that he was getting blood on his robes. 

 

“Lily is here too,” Sirius said, in case he had somehow managed not to hear her arguing with Pomfrey. 

 

“Can you also ask her to stay?” 

 

Sirius gestured Lily over, and Lily quickly slid under the covers next to him. 

 

Despite both Sirius and Lily having woken up only a few minutes ago, all three were soon fast asleep, and Pomfrey, carrying an armful of potions for Remus as she emerged from her office, found she didn't have the heart to wake them and send them off when Remus was smiling softly against Sirius’ chest, two sets of strong arms supporting him through his pain and through the nightmares that usually followed his transformation. 

   
James and Peter stopped by the Hospital Wing not long after carrying enough breakfast for five people, but quickly left after placing the tray next to Remus’ bed, deciding to spend the day reading more Witch’s Weekly, having pillow fights, trying to figure out where the staff room was, and charming Sirius’ boxers to chase random students through the halls.


	19. Chapter 19

Sirius sprinted into the Gryffindor boys' dormitory one fine summer evening at Hogwarts just as James, Peter and Remus had begun getting ready to go down to dinner, sending Peter flying as he crashed straight into the boy.

 

"Lily made my hair pretty again!" Sirius exclaimed as soon as he had stood up again, leaping at Remus and sending him to the floor too, only to get pinned to the floor as Remus, who he continuously forgot was stronger than he looked, threw him off and sat heavily on the center of his back.

 

"Very nice, Sirius," James muttered as he sat down on Sirius' legs for good measure.

 

"Get off me!"

 

"What do you think, James? Shall we let him up, or shall we continue sitting on him?"

 

"His legs are pretty comfortable to sit on when he stops wriggling."

 

"Guys, it's great that we're sitting on Sirius, but I'm hungry and I think I would prefer to go get dinner," Peter cut in.

 

"Right you are, Pete. I'll sit on you another time, Sirius!"

 

Remus muttered a quiet traitor as James stood up to go to dinner, but quickly got to his feet anyway, ducking a half-hearted punch from Sirius.

 

“Hi, Evans!” they heard James call to the girl from halfway down the steps.

 

The response was more than a little half-hearted, although the girl herself brightened when Sirius came sprinting out and leaped into her arms with a cry of “Lily, my fair maiden!”

 

“Evening, Lily.”

 

“Hi, Remus.”

 

“No, no you’re both doing it all wrong! Lily is a fair maiden and Remus is a cute but lowly peasant and I am both of your knights in shining armour.”

 

“My deepest apologies, Sir Knight,” Remus’ voice dripped with sarcasm, but there was a playful glint in his eye that made Sirius beam at the boy.

 

“Uh, Sir Knight? Can we please go eat now?” Peter’s voice interrupted their messing around, and with a much too loud affirmative from Sirius and much to energetic skipping from both Sirius and Peter, the small group of five made their way down to the Great Hall.

 

Lily waved to her friend in Slytherin as she walked in, making both James and Sirius wrinkle their noses in disgust, but they said nothing, even as the boy began making his way towards them.

 

“Who knew Gryffindors could be such sissies?” Snape hissed, his eyes narrowed in Sirius’ direction.

 

Sirius drew himself up taller, pushing his shoulders back and putting on the practiced regal mask of the heir to the House of Black. James shuffled uncomfortably at the sudden change in his friend’s manner, and Peter took an automatic step back, but Remus just calmly stood beside Sirius, adopting the calm, polite mask of the Lupins in support for his friend. Lily simply looked between them, looking torn.

 

“Severus…” Lily said hesitantly, but was ignored by the boy in question.

 

“James, I must have heard something wrong. Did he just say that Gryffindors were sissies?” Sirius’ voice sounded completely different, and only Remus didn’t become visibly uncomfortable at the sharp, clipped edge to his words.

 

James shrugged, “Must have misheard, everyone knows Slytherins are the biggest sissies.”

 

Sirius took a regal step towards Snape, easily towering over the boy despite not being so tall himself. Snape drew his wand, pointing it between Sirius’ eyes. James drew his own wand in Sirius’ defense. Remus took a step forward so he was standing at Sirius’ side, his hands curled into fists as he prepared for a fight. Peter gripped the wand in his pocket.

 

“Nice hair,” Snape’s voice dripped with malice, but while Sirius and James glared at him, Remus chuckled mildly.

 

“I must agree, they’re rather fetching.”

 

Sirius hid his shock at the calm, polite manner in which the boy had replied, as well as a rush of warmth towards the boy in question at the compliment, with a glare sent at Snape.

 

“Get lost, Snivellus, your snake pit is over there.”

 

Snape scowled even more deeply but knowing he was outnumbered – and being watched by an increasingly torn-looking Lily – he quickly turned on his heel and walked away from them, holding his head up high. Sirius heard Remus mutter something under his breath, but didn’t question it as they sat back down.

 

It was halfway through dinner when Sirius finally understood what Remus had muttered, when the Slytherin table erupted into laughter as Snape found his hair in two pig tails with a hot pink hair tie holding them in place.

 

“Remus you’re my hero,” Sirius said with a large grin that eventually transformed into a laugh.

 

“Wait did you do that?!” James sent Remus an incredulous look that was met with a small grin.

 

“Well I wasn’t going to let him get away with insulting Sirius was I?”

  
*     *     *

 

It was only during lunch that Snape finally retaliated, sticking an animated drawing of what was meant to be a female version of Sirius blowing kisses at passers-by and saying ‘I’m a poofter’ alongside one of the walls outside the Great Hall.

 

James was so wound up in defence of his friend that he hexed Snape in the middle of lunch, turning his skin bright purple and giving him bright green boils – an act he deemed was completely worth the detention he received. Remus kept cracking his knuckles threateningly, his lips half-curled up in a feral snarl, every time he caught sight of Snape for the rest of the day. Even Peter offered to give up his dessert to throw chocolate pudding at Snape, only to be convinced by Sirius that it wasn’t worth wasting the chocolatey goodness.

 

Sirius, for his part, kept quiet for the majority of the day. He had undone the braids that morning, Snape’s words still ringing in his ears. Remus and James had protested, saying that Snape would win if he took them out now, and Peter had offered to re-braid them after Sirius had already taken them out, however Sirius had still undone them, leaving his hair to simply hang down to his shoulders.

 

He disappeared after lunch without a word to any of the boys, deciding to take a walk outside and clear his head. It was a fairly warm day, and Sirius found himself wishing there was a breeze to cool him down as he walked around the Quidditch field in full view of the sun. He wasn’t sure why he felt so horrible, it wasn’t the first time he’d been publically insulted or humiliated and it definitely wouldn’t be the last, but as he felt the recently released hair brush the nape of his neck he couldn’t help but hear Snape’s voice commenting on his hair.

 

He wasn’t sure how long it was before he decided to go back to the dorm, but it was clearly long enough that Lily was watching him with a worried gaze when he walked into the common room alone. He sent her as big a smile as he could manage before heading up the stairs to the room he shared with James, Remus and Peter, shoving the door open.

 

Remus froze as soon as Sirius walked in, his hands carefully holding three separate groups of Peter’s feathery, brown hair mid-braid. Remus’ hair was messily braided by Peter, who had turned out to be a natural at braiding hair, although the hair appeared to be rejecting it’s twisty treatment vehemently. James’ hair, much to Sirius’ equal amusement and amazement, had also been braided, although the braids looked more like long, fuzzy sticks that managed to still stand on end in spite of gravity.

 

“Sirius, mate! How do you think I look?” James broke the silence with a bright friendly grin as he slung an arm around Sirius’ shoulders.

 

“Tell him he looks like a porcupine that got electrocuted,” Remus muttered, turning back to Peter’s hair as he did his best to braid it.

 

“You look like a porcupine that got elek-something,” Sirius said to James with a shrug before adding, “Seriously though, your hair must have a magic of its own.”

 

“Mum says it’s a special Potter magic.”

 

“Remus are you done yet?!” Peter whined, ending the conversation about James’ magical hair before it began in earnest.

 

“Yeah, I just have to tie this braid off and then you’re good.”

 

As soon as Peter’s hair was released from Remus’ hands he turned to look at Sirius and pointed to Remus’ bed with a commanding order to sit.

 

The resulting braids in Sirius’ hair were neither as pretty nor as elegant as what Lily often pulled off, but Sirius couldn’t help but grin as he looked into a small mirror Remus produced seemingly from nowhere and saw the braids in his hair, the grin growing as he looked up and took in the braids in his friend’s hair.

 

“Thanks, Pete.”

 

“Thank James, he came up with the idea.”

 

“Thanks, all of you. You’re the best friends ever.”

 

James grinned and sent him a playful wink which Sirius was quick to return, as well as a friendly punch to the shoulder. Remus sent him a small smile, earning himself a lighter punch to the shoulder and a brief hug. Peter high fived Sirius with a bright grin.

 

“Shall we go to dinner and let those slimy Slytherins know that we Gryffindors aren’t afraid to look better than them?” James asked, looking directly at Sirius.

 

“We shall!” Sirius replied, beaming with happiness as James, Remus and Peter echoed his words and, linking arms, skipped down the stairs to the common room and on all the way to the Great Hall.

 

As soon as they burst into the Great Hall they were greeted by the stares of every single student in the room. A second later, the whispers began to spread. With a shrug, James led the small, braided group to their table, taking their normal spots to complete silence.

 

The silence lasted until Peter, trying to hide his discomfort, leaned forward to grab some food and accidentally sent an olive flying across Remus and at Sirius’ face.

 

“Sorry S-“ Peter began, but was interrupted by a roar of laughter from James and a quieter chuckle from Remus.

 

“Traitors,” Sirius muttered, flicking the offending olive at Peter, who squeaked as he tried to get away.

 

“IT’S IN MY HAIR! REMUS, GET IT OUT!”

 

Remus’ chuckles had developed into full blown laughter now, and after a moment Peter began laughing too, forgetting the olive in his hair. It was another moment before Sirius began laughing too, falling into Remus as he tried to conceal his giggles.

 

At this point the meal had returned to normal. The four boys were still receiving a few odd looks from their peers, but most had already learned that these particular four boys were odd and simply accepted that this was just another example of that oddness. Sirius couldn’t help but grin throughout the entire meal as he thought of how brave his friends were – how brave they had made him – and how lucky he was to be in Gryffindor where he could meet people like that.

 

“Ten points from Gryffindor for causing a ruckus,” a stern voice interrupted their fun as James tried to throw olives into Peter’s open mouth.

 

Sirius was about to open his mouth to argue but Professor McGonagall got there first, “Ten points to Gryffindor each for showing an exceptional amount of bravery and support for your friends.”

 

Peter’s jaw dropped open in surprised, causing him to finally catch one of James’ thrown olives and cause him to choke. The Professor walked away before they could thank her, catching only a glimpse of a small smile on their head of house’s face as she walked away.

 

“Sirius, next time wear something pink to lunch so we get more house points.”

 

“I’d like to see the famous Potter hair with a rose stuck in it,” Sirius replied, smirking.

 

“Sorry, mate, but I’m not wearing a rose for you, house points or no house points,” Peter called, earning a high five from Remus.

 

They continued the banter all through the rest of the meal and up to their dorm rooms, their stomachs full and their smiles content and happy. Remus, Peter and James all released their hair from their braids, James releasing a string of expletives as he encountered every knot his hair possessed in the process, before all piling onto Sirius’ bed. Remus, who had looked fairly tired throughout the entire night, curled up comfortably on one side of the bed, only protesting mildly when James scooped him into his and Sirius’ laps, his head resting comfortably against Sirius’ thigh. He was asleep in seconds.

 

“Pete, do us a favour and grab that monkey game or whatever Remus brought from his house, we still haven’t played it and I want to be better at it than him the first time we play it together. And don’t make a mess, I finally finished tidying it three days ago!”

 

Peter, while he may have managed to find the monkey game and throw it to Sirius, failed to keep the trunk tidy. He closed the lid quickly so Sirius wouldn’t see his beautiful tidying gone to waste.

 

The next three hours were spent linking monkeys together in the longest chains they could possibly manage without them falling off the chain and throwing monkeys at each other. It quickly became obvious that Peter, for all his clumsiness, was the most coordinated of the three, managing to link the most amount of monkeys together. James, for all his talk of Quidditch and the coordination he possessed to be able to always catch the quaffle, appeared to be doing the worst, although that may have been due to Sirius swinging his chain of monkeys at James’ to purposely destroy the chain. This escalated to an epic monkey-throwing match between the pair while Remus slept on despite the occasional monkey falling onto him and Peter collected monkeys on to his chain until there were only two more monkeys for Sirius and James to throw at each other.

 

The monkeys were abandoned soon after. Sirius, James and Peter all worked together to tuck Remus into Sirius’ bed before all laying down on either side of him, ending up tangled up in each other’s limbs. James found himself faced with a surprisingly clingy Remus who, being the tallest, had tried to snuggle in as close as he possibly could and was therefore sleeping close enough to James’ face for them to be sharing breathing space. James cracked after two seconds, rolling the still sleeping boy away from him and towards Sirius, who, being the shortest, comfortably snuggled into Remus’ chest.

 

Peter soon nodded off, leaving Sirius and James to talk into the night about anything that came to their minds, from a prank involving the barrel of monkeys to Quidditch tryouts and tactics to wondering if Professor Binns would notice if they re-enacted the Goblin Wars in his classroom with pillows.

 

The two boys eventually fell asleep content and comfortable under the covers with their best friends, safe with the knowledge that nothing, not even braided hair, would be able to ruin their friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long and I'm sorry about that guys. I am still continuing with this and do intend to stick with it until it's done (from the looks of it, that will be over 100 chapters... oops), but you may have to bear with the sporadic updates and other things being posted around it. Writer's block is a cruel mistress.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, an update! Yes this is still going, hopefully for a while yet. I have plans for up until the end of their 7th year, so there's still a long way to go. Thank you to everyone who's been commenting and leaving kudos, you guys are the reason I keep writing. Have a great day everyone, hope you enjoy the chapter :)

The four Marauders had heard from various older students that the End of Term Feast was a relaxed, casual event, a time to celebrate the past year’s achievements and to say goodbye to Hogwarts until September. They were, of course, determined to change that, and so when they did finally walk into the Great Hall, it was with large, smug grins and pockets bulging with pranking items.

They had agreed beforehand to act completely natural, something that was very unnatural for both Sirius and James, and that unnerved Remus to no end. Peter, to everyone’s surprise, was perhaps the most natural-looking of them all, merely sitting down with a ‘Merlin I hope the food comes soon.’

They were the perfect figures of disciplined students for all of Dumbledore’s speeches, even restraining themselves from making snide comments about Hufflepuff as they were announced winners of the House Cup. In fact, they seemed to be acting perfectly normally until halfway through the meal, when Remus, with a bit of fancy wandwork underneath the table, charmed the turkeys on to life.

It took perhaps five seconds for the entire Great Hall to fall into a state of chaos.

Sirius and James were, as always, quick to add the chaos, screaming exaggeratedly as one of the turkeys tried to shoot stuffing at them.

“My hair!” Sirius yelled, “Remus! Get it out of my hair!”

Unfortunately for Sirius, that was when Phase Two of the prank was initiated, as Peter charged into the Great Hall followed by an army of the Hogwarts suits of armour.

“Worry not! I’ve called the cavalry!” he announced.

James saw Remus slap himself and with a grin lightly slapped the boy too.

“Look over at Slytherin,” Sirius called, and soon they were all laughing as they witnessed Bellatrix trying to crawl over a poor first year in an attempt to escape, and Snape receiving a face full of stuffing as he tried to barrel through Lucius.

“ _FINITE!”_ Dumbledore’s booming voice finally called, and the rest of the Hogwarts student body let out a deep sigh of relief as the turkeys fell, lifeless once again, out of the air, a fourth year Hufflepuff letting out a squeak as one fell on her.

They spent the rest of the evening giggling amongst themselves, not even the knowledge that they had a week’s worth of detention waiting for them next school year able to bring down their good spirits.

*     *     *

James woke up halfway through the night from a dream about a fish that had decided to use his hair as its habitat. He rolled over with an upset huff, about to go back to sleep, when he realised he was cold, and with a jolt realised that Sirius, who had previously been curled up against his back, was gone. He quickly pushed himself up with some effort and reached around blindly in the dark, trying to find his glasses.

“You’re about to hit Peter on the face. Try your left.”

James nodded his head at Sirius’ disembodied voice, leaning over to the left and closing his hand around something that felt a lot more like glasses than anything else he’d managed to feel. He pushed them onto his nose with a sigh of relief, and turned over, finally able to make out the previously blurry shape sitting on the window sill.

“What are you doing awake?”

“What are _you_ doing awake?”

“Harry was making a mess of my hair.”

“Harry?”

“Yes, the fish.”

Sirius decided it was probably best not to ask any more questions, which suited James just fine as he didn’t feel like recalling the horror of his dream. Instead, Sirius turned to stare out of the window, and James crawled over a snoring Peter to join him.

“What’s wrong?”

Sirius shrugged, not looking at James.

“Budge over, you’re taking up the entire sill.”

Sirius slowly moved, tucking his knees under his chin as he made space for James. James accidentally kicked his ankle as he sat down, and then kicked it again for good measure when Sirius said nothing.

“Come on, what’s wrong?”

Sirius was quiet for so long James nearly hit him just to get him to say something.

“I don’t want to go home alone.”

“I thought you wanted to see Regulus?”

“I do. But I don’t think he wants to see me.”

Sirius did his best to hide his face, but it was too late, James had already seen the tears that were running down his face. Without hesitation, James found himself pulling Sirius into the warmest hug he could give, only pulling a small face of disgust when he felt his shirt starting to get soaked through with Sirius’ tears.

“Of course he wants to see you. You’re Messr freaking Sirius.”

James made it sound so simple that Sirius nearly believed him, but he still shook his head, knowing better.

“And we’ll owl you every day, you know. You better owl us too! It’ll be like we’re all still with you, but we have to talk through owls. And of course we _have_ to meet up during the break, I think my parents said we’re going down to Brighton for a week and that I’m allowed to bring friends – you are definitely coming with me. We can go swimming at the beach every day and at night we can explore the muggle half of the city – especially if Remus is there to tell us how to work those things with the elek-… the elke-… the thing.”

By the end of James’ speech, Sirius was smiling much more than he had been, a small laugh even leaving his lips as he watched James silently continue to attempt to say the odd muggle word.

“You’d really want us to come with you to Brighton?”

James let out a quiet sound of annoyance as he realised he wasn’t going to manage to say the word before bouncing up onto the balls of his feet, nearly giving Sirius a concussion as he did so.

“Don’t be an idiot, of course I do! Now come on, we should get some sleep or Rem and Pete will be wondering why we’re tired tomorrow.”

James hopped off the ledge as elegantly as he could, which was to say he immediately tripped on one of Remus’ stray socks and was sent flying into Peter’s bedside table with an almighty crash. Sirius got down much more carefully, grabbing the back of James’ shirt and pulling him into a standing position before climbing into bed behind Remus, who automatically rolled over and pulled Sirius to him. James slunk under the blanket beside Sirius, one arm draping itself heavily on Sirius’ side, reminding him that as long as his three friends were around, he would never be alone.

*     *     *

Remus couldn’t get comfortable. Sirius sat to his left, providing a comfortable pillow, and Peter hadn’t complained when Remus had put his feet up in his lap, trying to get comfortable, but it was impossible. The pull of the moon was in his bones, and it ached no matter how he sat. He turned away from Sirius, pressing his forehead against the window’s cool glass, but to no avail. It seemed the train ride back was going to be a painful one.

James and Peter had gotten into three food-related arguments in the past ten minutes, the most current one being the pronunciation of ‘nachos’. Lily, who had made the mistake of choosing to sit in their compartment, looked like she was ready to kill both of them, and Sirius was clearly feeling the effects of her anger as she tugged his hair into a braid a bit too roughly for his liking. Sirius, for his part, was subdued, almost silent other than to respond to Lily’s occasional question. Remus was worried about him.

Remus shifted again, groaning quietly as he did so, and slid down until his head was resting on Sirius’ lap. Sirius ran a hand through his hair, but even that was too much for his sensitive nerves and Sirius soon stopped as Remus winced.

“Ok?”

“Just a bit sore.”

Lily glanced down at Remus, a question in her eyes. He hesitated before nodding a fraction in response. She said nothing, simply returned to tugging Sirius’ hair into a messy French braid. James and Peter moved on from arguing about the correct pronunciation of ‘nachos’ to which condiments should and shouldn’t be added to chips.

“Sirius?” Remus asked so quietly Sirius almost didn’t hear him.

“Hmm?”

Remus opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth before responding, “Mum said she’s bringing cookies for you at the platform. I think she’s worried you don’t eat properly.”

Sirius smiled, but Remus noted it didn’t reach his eyes, and his heart ached for his friend.

“I know, she told me she would.”

“Since when do you talk to my mum?”

“She owls me once a week, we’re good friends, she has lots of embarrassing stories.”

Remus sighed, trying to hide his smile, “so you’re stealing my mum now?”

“I prefer to call it sharing without permission.”

Remus chuckled, shaking his head with amusement, “she likes you.”

“Of course she does, I’m me.”

“I would think Hope was smarter than that,” Lily interjected.

The conversation continued, light-hearted, only interrupted once by the appearance of the food trolley, only ending when it was time to get off the train.

James and Peter were both quick to get off, keen to find their family, but Remus and Lily hung back as Sirius slowly gathered his trunk and began walking sadly towards the door.

“You’re shaking,” Remus muttered, dropping his suitcase and pulling Sirius into a hug.

“’M not” Sirius protested into Remus’ shoulder, but despite his protests his grip on Remus’ waist tightened, not wanting to let go.

“You’ll owl me?” Sirius asked, his voice small.

“Just try and stop me.”

“Me too,” Lily added, finally having found her stray brush and packing up her trunk.

She was quick to put her arms around her friend too, with a quiet mutter of “we’re always here for you.”

It was a moment before Sirius managed to compose himself and gather his items. The three stepped off onto the platform, Remus and Lily on either side of him sporting twin looks of fierce support. Sirius glanced around, feeling his heart thud against his chest as he wondered if maybe his parents had forgotten about him, until he caught their haughty, disapproving gaze from the other side of the platform. His heart seemed to lodge itself somewhere in his stomach.

“Sirius! Good to see you again!” Hope’s voice interrupted his staring match with his parents, and he turned to her with a small smile on his face.

“Hey there, Hope!” he said, letting himself get pulled into a hug by the energetic woman.

“Here, brought you these,” she said after letting him go, pulling a small jar of cookies out of her bag and handing them to him, a small note attached to the lid by a ribbon.

“Thank you,” he tried to smile, but he didn’t think it was particularly convincing.

“Oi, Siri! There you are!” James’ loud voice called as he pushed his way through the crowd.

“I thought you’d already left.”

“Did you really think I’d just leave without saying bye? You’re insane. Here, I got you something,” James held out a badly wrapped package, “don’t open it here, too much chaos, it might break. Anyway, I’ll see you soon! Hopefully in Brighton! Owl me!”

James hugged Sirius and waved goodbye to Remus before darting off through the crowds, leaving them sending each other confused looks.

“That boy is… quite something,” Hope commented.

“You don’t know the half of it, mum,” Remus muttered, making Sirius smile.

“My parents are over there, I’d better get going too,” Lily said apologetically, giving Sirius and Remus one last hug before disappearing into the crowd with a call of ‘I’ll owl you!’

The platform was quieting down now, with most of the students having said their goodbyes and having left for wonderful vacations in exotic places. Sirius prepared to bid the Lupins goodbye, but Remus interrupted him before he could say anything.

“Do you want us to go with you?”

Sirius felt a wave of relief come over him at the words and he nodded, shoving the package James had given him in his trunk and drawing himself up tall, haughty, as the heir of the Blacks should.

All three of them walked together towards Sirius’ parents, Remus saying nothing, Hope softly inquiring about how Sirius’ year had been but soon stopping when she realised Sirius wasn’t quite paying attention.

“Mother, father.” Sirius stopped in front of them, inclining his head with just enough respect that they couldn’t discipline him, but not enough so that his mother didn’t let out an indignant huff.

“May I present Hope Lupin, Remus’ mother,” Sirius barely recognised his own voice as he gestured to Hope.

Neither of his parents seemed to care, and Hope dropped the hand she had held out awkwardly.

“Do you have all your things?” Orion Black asked instead, glancing at Sirius, who nodded.

“Say goodbye to your friends, we’re leaving.”

Orion and Walburga began to walk away, leaving Sirius to hug both Lupins hurriedly and mutter a goodbye. He took a deep breath and began to walk after his parents when a small sheet of parchment was slipped between his fingers, and he turned to see Remus trying to slide a note into his hand.

“I’ll owl you,” Remus promised, and Sirius smiled a small, sad smile before turning to follow his parents back home.

*     *     *

_Dear Sirius,_

_Hope you like the cookies! Try not to eat them all at once, it’s not healthy for you._

_Remus tells me you’re going home for the summer, and that it’s not always easy for you to be there. I hope it’s not too bad this time. You’re always welcome at our home._  
  
Love,

_Hope Lupin_

*     *     *

_Queen Sirius of the Drama,_

_Have a great summer! This is a two-way mirror – you can use it to talk to me whenever that hag is getting on your nerves. Thought this might be easier than using owls._

_Call me so I know you can use it._

_The Mighty and Great James “Excellent Hair” Potter_

*     *     *

_Dear Sirius,_

_This is a bit weird, not going to lie. You’re currently sleeping in the Gryffindor Common Room with your hair up in some kind of weird up-do Lily called a Sleeping Rose. I think she made it up. I think she makes up a lot of hair styles. Either way, you’re currently sleeping here, but I’m also writing to future you._

_If you’re reading this, it means you’ve gone home for the hols. Worse, it means you’ve gone home alone for the hols. And I know I’ll owl you every day, and so will James and Peter and Lily, but I didn’t want you to go home and feel alone or lonely so I decided to write you this so you already have something with you._

_That house is terrifying. I mean it; I still have nightmares about yellow troll toe nails, and I don’t have to live there. You’ve lived there for so long and even now you’re not running away, you’re still going back there. You’re so brave, Sirius. It’s why you’re a Gryffindor. Don’t forget that, yeah? You’re a Gryffindor, you’re the red and gold, even if everything around you is silver and green. We’re Gryffindors. You’re brave and strong and loyal and yes, sometimes you’re also reckless and stupid, but that’s just what happens when you’re Sirius. You’re not like your family._

_I hope you have a good break. I also hope to have another opportunity to hit your mother. (She won’t see it coming, I swear it. It’ll be a sneak attack.)_

_I don’t really know how to end this. Maybe I just won’t._

_I’ll owl you. Or by now maybe I’ll already have owled you. This is weird._

_\- Remus J. Lupin_


End file.
